• Member Since 15th Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen May 26th

Nagmeister


yvan het nioj

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At the turn of the millennium, when Nightmare Moon returned, most ponies would believe that our society was impossible... that it was a beautiful horror story, where money is more important than friends and harmony takes second place to profit.

They'd be right, in a sense. But in these twenty years, we have come so far, so close to a perfect Utopia; Equestria has never been better. From Sparkle Industries' augmentation monopoly to Sweet Apple Acres' dominance of food production, the civilized world is controlled by those who were once its savoirs.

Change... has never been so profitable.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )

The name is reference to Miracle Of Sound, isnt it? Or am I just insane...? Probably the second one...

6133628 YUUUUUUSSS! :pinkiegasp: You listen to them too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6133631 Gav is amazing. I wish I had half the talent that man's got.

6133640 Yup. I like Nord Mead, Sovengarde Song, and All As One the best.

I'm more of a City of Night guy myself.

I was debating with myself whether or not to read this, and I have have to say that I'm glad I did.

Good to know I'm not the only MoS fan here.

I love the prologue! There's no grammatical errors and you did a great job of setting up the dark cyberpunk setting of the modern Equestria.

And how Equestria became a cyberpunk dystopia out of of Deus Ex: Human Revolution was nicely integrated into the story too. The flashback does a great job of contrasting Equestria from the show with the dark cyberpunk Equestria.

Please continue this story.

6281730
The problem is, I couldn't find a way to continue it well. Unfortunately, when I wrote the prologue my plans for the rest weren't fully formed, and I don't exactly know if I can keep it going without it devolving into garbage.

6282377, mind if I give you some suggestions?

"I'm glad you asked," Twilight replied with a dark smile. "All it takes is for the police to tag a target - either with one of our patented police assistance tools or remotely using other methods - for them to be able to see it wherever it goes, in any Equestrian city. The M.17 is linked to the EqSec grid as well, which allows police to remotely track anypony using our newer-model augmentations and disable them remotely - removing all reason for worry about the safety of Equestrian citizens from augmented criminals."

Maybe you could show a group of rebels fighting against the oppressive police and government? Or reverse the perspective, show how the police and government had to become ridiculously oppressive because the crime rate went completely through the roof.

Or maybe even show a little bit of strong-arming by the Equestrinian government on Sparkle Industries ("Allow us to track everypony who gets your new model augmentations and give us a remote kill switch or we're going to use the legal system to fuck your company up.")

Within a year, Sparkle Industries had become one of the ten most valuable Equestrian corporations, employing six thousand ponies and making five million bits a quarter - nearly ten times the revenue of the company below it on the ranking.

Five million bits a quarter is quite a large amount. To put it into perspective, buying an average Ponyville house costs about five thousand bits. A factory like the one in Manehatten might top out at about fifty thousand. Five hundred thousand will buy you the four tallest buildings in the city, as well as another similarly-sized one. Five million bits a quarter is about half the national revenue of the Equestrian government.

Maybe a tale about the Equestrianian government sending troops to take down Sparkle Industries because they fear its sheer size and incredible wealth make it a threat to its sovereignty?

Failing that, you could just make a story compilation set in this dystopian cyberpunk Equestria.

Why cancelled? This story had so much potential!

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