1. The Choice
Spike sprawled back onto his bed with a contented sigh, holding The Methods of Rationality in one claw and his Rarity plush close to his chest with the other. With a lazy yawn he opened the book and flipped to the correct page. He figured if somepony had gone to all the trouble of highlighting a particular passage he might as well start there first, as he didn't exactly have anything telling him otherwise. He wriggled around until he got comfortable, then began to read as he scratched the plush behind the ears.
Hello, good sir or madam, whichever you may happen to be. If you are reading this then you have found one of the few remaining copies of my life's work, a complete (as complete as I can make it, anyway) study on the process of intelligent thought: how it works, what it does well, what its weaknesses are, and how to improve it. The Methods of Rationality, as I have come to call the ideas collectively, are a tool, multi, if not omni, purpose, that is used not by your hooves, claws, paws, or magic, but your mind. They are a series of thought patterns and logical techniques used to banish lies and reveal the truth. They can be applied to any task, be it as simple as opening a door or as complex as constructing a palace, and make achieving that goal much easier. They know not species, or class, or wealth, or status, only whether the mind in question is open and willing.
Given that these claims are quite substantial and my name is highly unusual, you're probably wondering why you've never heard of me before. Surely if what I have written was true, it would be in use by every creature in existence, would it not? Unfortunately, that is obviously not the case. The Princesses (or Princess, singular, now) have been rather thorough in purging my works from their society, and since they dominate the world the other nations have done likewise in an attempt to maintain their favor.
This does not, however, mean that my work is "evil," or "wrong," anymore than a hammer is evil when used to smash a flawed vase. The ponies actually have a very solid reason, from their perspective, to shun the Methods, and frankly I can't blame them for it. Pony culture is based around creating and maintaining Harmony, which can be best defined as a potent combination of peace, joy, and love, carefully mixed in the right amounts to allow for a full and happy life. This is an admirable philosophy, one I strive for myself and that is second only to my pursuit of truth and knowledge. In fact, were this a better world we would never have come into conflict. The problem is that much of Harmony as the ponies know it is built on ignorance and deception. The ponies are at peace when they should prepare to fight, are joyous when they should morn, and love that which cannot love them back.
The purpose of the Methods is to destroy lies and misconceptions, then replace them with ideas that are closer to the truth until those ideas are discarded in turn in favor of ones that are better still. The problem arises when the Methods destroy a falsehood that was used to create Harmony. From the pony's perspective, my work made them unhappy, therefore it must be bad. They don't care that they shouldn't have been happy in the first place: the Methods attacked their Harmony, therefore they must be removed. This is what they do with every issue they've ever faced: they seal it away and pretend it doesn't exist. Discord, Tirek, Sombra, Nightmare Moon, The Changlings, the list goes on. In a way, they are the phrase "Ignorance is bliss" given sapient form.
With that in mind, if you are a pony, or know you are completely happy with your life as it is, put this book back where you found it and leave it for someone else to find. You will (hopefully) find nothing but truth in the words I've written, and the truth will destroy any joy of yours that is built on lies, leaving your Harmony in shambles. However, if you are not happy with your life, the state of the world as it is, your place in the world, or you are simply too curious to leave the book alone, then turn to chapter one and may you learn my lessons well. You will have just as much to gain, and far less to lose.
Be warned of two things: First, if the princesses (or princess) find this book, they will confiscate or destroy it for the reasons listed above. Keep it safe, and if you absolutely must show it to them, make a backup copy beforehand so that my knowledge is not lost. Second, once you start down this path you will not be able to return to your old life. You will have tasted the fruit of the tree of Knowledge, and everyone who has eaten always came back for more. So it was in my village, so it is now, and so it will be until the end of days.
May the stars forever light your path,
Eye the Ewe, curator of the Ewellinois library.
Spike stared at the page for a long minute after he'd finished reading, then stood, stretched, carefully placed the Rarity plush on his pillow, and started walking down the stairs to the dungeon to stick the book back in the alcove. He was perfectly happy with his life as it was (no seriously, he was), and he didn't feel the need to mess with that. He had to admit the book had a point though. Disagreements, monsters, and other such problems were generally ignored by ponies unless they became unavoidable. Resentment was hidden, white-lies were told, conflicts were smoothed over, and everypony maintained a veneer of happiness as best they could right up until something punched straight through it and revealed everything the ponies had locked away. He hadn't heard of any of the threats Twilight and her friends had faced until those threats were already attacking, or very shortly beforehand, and that was an easy example.
He mentally scoffed at the idea of Twilight destroying any book, even one that was supposedly "dangerous" as he placed the text in its hidey hole, but the other Princesses he wasn't so sure about. He knew Princess Celestia was an extremely good ruler, and as such she had to have made calls that not everypony would always agree with. If she thought the happiness of her subjects was threatened, the chances of her banning a book went from "never" to "possible," and there was no telling what Luna or Cadance would do in that situation. They could help, or hurt, or do nothing, and Spike had no way to tell which it would be.
Since he couldn't lift the stone back up to seal the wall, he decided that it was good enough as it was and went to get ready for bed. He had the castle to himself for a few days, after all, and he wasn't planning on wasting it.
88888888
Spike slept fitfully, and woke up the next day tired and much earlier than usual. A quick raid on Twilight's emergency coffee stash (helpfully labeled NOT FOR SPIKE in big red letters) fixed the first problem, and Spike took advantage of the second by going up to the roof to watch the sunrise. Ever since he'd read that preface letter, the question it brought up had been bugging him, causing his disturbed slumber, and no amount of mental singing was able to make it go away. Was he really happy? It was such a simple question, but the answer was anything but.
He had friends, a family, a very nice roof over his head, and all the gems he could eat. Wasn't that enough? Sure, Rarity never gave any hint that she might love him back someday, and Twilight had gotten insanely busy recently, and he seemed to be the butt of the universe at times, getting smacked around for no discernible reason, and whenever he tried something new it always turned out badly, but that shouldn't change anything! Should it?
He searched his mind and heart for the comfort of joy, something he knew he'd felt before and could easily recognize again. And yet, as the first golden rays of the light of the sun bounced off his scales, the fiery orb peaking over the horizon between the cliffs for a moment before it rose in a fiery arc that suggested Celestia felt like showing off this morning, an icy realization washed over Spike that completely negated the morning's warmth. He was not happy, and had not been so for quite some time. He'd been happy before, back when he could barely speak and it was just Twilight, him, and her family, but ever since they'd moved to Ponyville his happiness had slowly dripped away. He'd lost a little on his birthday, a bit more when Owlowlicious moved in, more still with his dragon code and that disastrous attempt to join the dragon migration, and countless other times where his goals had been denied, or he'd just gotten hit with something out of nowhere. To top it all off, the one time he'd actually gotten even a smidgen of respect and power he ended up abusing it horribly and everything exploded in his face. Sure the Crystal Empire had turned out well, but that was at Twilight's prompting, not his own volition.
With a start, he realized he wasn't just not happy, he was pissed. Pissed at the universe for seeming to take pleasure from his torment, and pissed at himself for every mistake he'd ever made, every stupid decision, every missed opportunity, and every lapse in judgement. He did not like his place in the world, and now that he knew that, he wasn't just going to sit there and take whatever abuse life felt like sending his way. With that thought, his choice crystallized, and he rushed for the dungeons get the book back, almost falling off the roof because of his speed. If the book was what Eye claimed it to be, it could be his ticket to a life where he was respected, one where he made stuff happen, instead of stuff happening to him.
Upon reaching the nook he hopped up on the stone block and almost tore the cover in his haste to grab the text, and raced back to his room to read it. As he dashed into the room and towards his bed his foot struck the Rarity plush that was his secret pride and joy, his carelessness sending it careening against the wall. He'd found a drive like nothing he'd ever experienced before, and as he found the page he was looking for, titled "What is Rationality and Why is it Useful?" he failed to notice he had grown an eighth of an inch.
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6151773 Here, I tossed out the old chapter and wrote something better. Does this work?
Much more compelling, if a bit shorter than the first version. I hope the next chapter is coming soon?
6153179 It's about a third of the way written. I'll have some free time next week, and will be updating ALL my stories then. Also, it's about 60 words longer.
6153183 I look forward to it!
A bit shorter, but it gives a pretty good explanation of why the book was kept in secret and why Spike will continue to read and keep it a secret from everyone.
Please don't stop
Words cannot describe it, so my mustache will have to do the talking.
Awesome!
This story is great so far. Always preferred knowledge is power over ignorance is bliss, myself.
About halfway through I slipped into the Narrator's voice from The Stanley Parable. It reads very well.
Ooh. Yes, this is a very good start. Both on subject matter and on setting up a compelling plot.
It even sets up a potential end-game for Spike! (Figuring out how to replace the fragile Harmony with a better Harmony that truth can't destroy.)
I wonder if Spike will have and existential crisis in this story because I'll guarantee that book will lead him right to it. As for those that don't know what that is here's the definition "An existential crisis is a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether their life has any meaning, purpose, or value." It usually happens to those of greater intelligence and knowledge; while causing some amount of suffering or agony to the individual.
6153172 This version is better.
I never got to read the original, but I love where this is going.
6113182
~poke~
You're still alive?
6186350 Same
Spike mystically being dissatisfied with his life isn't really "an actual reason for Spike to read the book." That's something you've shoehorned in. He could simply read on, disregarding the warning, because frankly the warning is bull, and Spike wouldn't really consider knowledge to be dangerous.
Your characterization of Equestria is unrealistic and boring. Science is already a pursuit in Equestria, and your description of the Methods actually refers to the scientific method. Regarding the enemies of Equestria, which is an entirely different matter than some supposedly subversive text, there is no reason for an average citizen to know of these things, and especially not when they are not a present threat. "Sealing it away," as it was in the case of Discord, Nightmare Moon, and Sombra, was entirely circumstantial. The Elements did some arbitrary action for the first two, and Sombra sealed away the Crystal Empire himself. Tirek was imprisoned and guarded, and the Changelings weren't even a known threat until the Royal Wedding. In all of those cases, there is simply nothing to do until the situation changed, and then a whole lot of something was done about it.
Your characterization of how ponies solve interpersonal conflicts is simply untrue as well. First of all, ponies are interested in the truth, they've never been shown to prefer false happiness over the real situation.
This is a ridiculous assertion. Nothing whatsoever supports this. We see ponies fight and have disagreements all the time in canon, and these problems are not whitewashed. They only ever go away through true resolution. Ponies are not mystical beings of harmony, they are literally humans in pony form. They don't love harmony above all else. Ponies are selfish, mean, rude, and otherwise flawed. There are bullies, there are snobs, there are cult leaders, there are ripoffs, there are ponies who simply don't care about strangers. There is nothing idyllic or falsely cheerful about pony life except perhaps governance, and we view Equestria through the eyes of six royally favored ponies in a children's show. The Methods would not be so vilified that the Princesses themselves would destroy all the copies of it they could. If you're actually going with tyrant princesses, maybe, but I'm not having any part in it.
The only part in this chapter you got right is perhaps Spike's anger at being such a fuck-up. You can certainly play on that without harm, because Spike is without a doubt the biggest fuck-up in Saturday morning cartoons. But this wouldn't make him carelessly kick aside his creepy Rarity doll, nor would it make him grow in greed, because rationality is not at all a selfish or distracting thing. Competence is orthogonal to values, and values are arational. Spike is motivated to be an assistant. That's literally his identity, and for some reason, Spike episodes always end up with him failing in his assistance. If he is motivated to better himself, it is to be better and more competent at helping ponies; Twilight in particular.
I was interested in the prologue. But this chapter pretty much sucked out all the enjoyment I was looking for.
6114274
That is not their depiction of politics. It is a description of how politics can go wrong, and the 'arguing going nowhere' is in specific reference to political adherents, not politicians themselves. With moralizing beliefs, and with party/dichotomy-based identities in general, tribalism comes into play and makes useful discussion of political issues very, very hard. Something I've found unfortunate is that Republican and Democrat statements tend to not even agree on reality, a problem that science is supposed to mitigate. I think we can agree that political polarization has become much worse in the last few decades. Is that something you see?
Can we get some more chapters on this, please?
6513777 I'm currently evaluating whether Spike is actually the best character for this kind of story. If he is, I'll continue it after a bit more tweaking. If not, I'll let everyone know and direct then to the spiritual successor which will star the right character.
6513785 Considering he seems to be getting the short end of the stick more and more lately, Spike's not a bad character for this sort of thing.
6513830 Standing up for himself? Yes. Using rationality to do it? I'm not so sure. He's already the voice of reason in his best appearances: it makes me wonder just how much he really could get out of becoming more rational.
6513927 Well, I can't think of anyone else who would fit the bill any better. Any ideas on your end?
6513949 Someone who doesn't like to think or is blind to reality. They find the book, read it for an in character reason, and then the story substance comes from watching the scales fall from their eyes as they realize just how clueless they really were. I'd consider Rainbow Dash except she probably read it or the CMC except I don't know their personalities all that well. Part of the problem here is I didn't know Spike as well as I thought I did.
6513969 Well, I know Pinkie's probably out of the question. What about Twilight? Sure, she's a thinker, but she has displayed blind loyalty and naivety several times. It would be quite interesting to see her struggle between accepting the truth and trying to deny it and continue living in blissful ignorance, between bettering the world and maintaining what she's always assumed to be true harmony.
6514009 That was the original idea here. I changed it to Spike when I had a hard time coming up with a good conflict, but her name is on the other version in my unpublished story box.
Until the next chapter!
Interesting. I'm intrigued to see how this might play out.
6514067 Personally, I very much enjoy Spike figuring out rationality. Considering all that the universe has thrown at him, I think he'd be looking for any solution possible to help him out. Though that might not be the best motivator, I'm sure he could come to realize that and boom, internal conflict. I also find it a bit poetically just to have one of the most naive characters on the show stumble ass backwards into a higher understanding of his, and everyone else's, existence
bump
Interesting. Shame this is a dead story. Liked where this was going.
7255224 It's not dead-dead, just waiting on me having a better idea of what I'm doing.
didn't even read this chapter, downvote because of "on hiatus" for the last five years.
least author could do is to change it to "incomplete", so the whole story could be skipped entirely.
10256905
That's pretty much the worst way you could have responded, just rudely noting that you didn't even bother to read anything because the story is dead (or possibly not), I think this is a really interesting idea I'd like to see continued, or at the very least explored in a rewrite or in another story.
I personally haven't read all of the sequences because I could never get enough motivation to just read through the text of all of the sequences, without being distracted by outlinks or by the LW comments. I feel like something like this story would help when "reading along" with the sequences in a more structured manner.
Really good