Octavia is enjoying a boring evening when she hears that her favorite musician is coming to town for a party. You either have to be invited, be somepony's plus one, or pay a fee of 200 bits. Octavia has none of that, so her not-so-helpful friends have a better idea.
Crash the party!
In this story, I'm taking a break from a few stereotypes on Vinyl and Octavia (as well as a few other characters) and writing Octavia with a little less common sense and more of a crushing slob. Vinyl, well, she'll be interesting to say the least.
There is a good amount of a building romance, but it doesn't drown out the story or development of characters, and trust me, there is much more development happening in this story, not like my last one where we jumped like three chapters to the end. I've learned my lesson
Rated teen for language and booze!
*spittake* Uhh...that's a LITTLE high for what we've seen the established value of Equestrian currency to be...
Well its alright for a start but gotta work on spelling a bit i suppose.
You use "quite" often where it shuld be "quiet" like here below for example
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Ah yes, a common mistake in my works. I'll be sure to take a better look thank you
I Want MOARE MORE MORE
No prob dude. If you want a good security program try kaspersky internet security works great!
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Thanks! I'll be sure to check that out! I have avast right now. It's okay, but it seems to not see obvious threats
Celestia have mercy on those ponys
You know, been watching you from the shadows (such a creep), and can say the writing is definitely improving as you said so yourself. Quite the step up from your super hero story to this. Still the occasional spelling/grammar thing and sometimes scenes are somewhat confusing but hey its getting there.
Try not to copy other stories too much (obvious statement but you probably get what I mean), like the scene at start of this chapter is alot like in Syncopation (besides the point if you read that or not). Anyway nice work
And what the heck, have a follow.
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Thank you for the feedback, and I'll be sure to keep an eye out for those grammatical errors too. I have this weird thing with spelling, I think spelling, context, and I were born enemies
As for F.R.I.E.N.D.S. of Equestria, I plan to redo that... at some point... just not right now.
And the first chapter is like Syncopation? Huh... I haven't read that one in a long while, odd that it would seem to parallel here of all places but I assure you this isn't intentional. I think once you read a popular ship, no matter how great or original the story is, it gets hit with tropes, and that can get stories that end up running into similar territories. But I'll be sure to read Syncopation again, and my chapter to see if I can't try and avoid more stuff like that.
Just curious, but Vinyl still does dislike talking a lot right? So far, admitately, she has been with Octavia (whom it has been made to mention that she likes to talk with) but will there be a mention or another showing that even though Octavia is around, she doesn't want to talk with other ponies? Help to show that Tavi is a very special case.
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Funny you should mention that! I actually did notice halfway thought the chapter that Vinyl had a bit of a motor mouth with Octavia, even when you see that she still stays relatively quiet around her friends. I intend on making this more in depth in the future. (can't really spoil my own story in the chapter comments ) But I assure you it will be explained.
Thank you for spotting that, by the way! Like I said, I sometimes don't notice plot holes unless they're extremely obvious.
6196706 Pffft, it's all good. I try to double and triple read my own work just to be sure and I still miss stuff. Gotta love editors and readers who are more than willing to take careful notice of every single thing
It is turning out interesting, I just started to really wonder when Vinyl shouted. It seemed so out of character that you had been building up. It's really hard to shout when you are used to being quiet all the time, you can't control the sound as well or properly adjust it for your needs (I have some personal experience to this since I really really hate shouting and avoid it at all costs).
I'd suggest perhaps some changes to the chapter, but that's up to you. Since this isn't a published work, you can always go back and try to improve the parts that are suffering, but that's a decision you have to make yourself. Otherwise it is going pretty well. Sorry for the long-ish comment, I like to try and help whenever I can. (hopefully you don't mind)
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The length of the comment is fine, no problem, and any feedback is always welcome.
I'm an animator and artist by trade, and writing in detail is less of a career as it is a hobby, so I like to brush up on it every now and again. I would like to find a prof-reader sometime in the future, mainly because I can't stand to look at my own work (I think many people have this, but it seems to be really bad with me )
I'll be sure to reread that part with Vinyl shouting, I agree (as a person who used to do public speaking and acting, I tend to project, but I never yell as it bothers me to do so) that shouting for somepony who already doesn't speak often would be a bit of a stretch.
Ssooo! Short! WHY?!
Joking aside, I hope you're better.
Admittedly, that's mainly so you can write more of this... Need... MORE!
Uhh... was the word meant to be quiet?
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I'll be sure to make more chapters soon enough not to worry. I'm just as excited about the story as you are, seeing as I don't plan them
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Yeah that's been a running issue for a while. I'm cleaning it up as I go, but quite and quiet get mixed a lot. Sorry about that, context will have to do until I find them all and fix it.
Your problem sounds rather familiar...
Anyway, thanks for another chapter. I'm already looking forward to the next one.
There were a couple of grammatical issues, but nothing major. I can go through it again, if you're interested in revising.
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It amazes me how much those two, along with quit, get mixed up.
Iiiinteresting. You have gotten my interest, and another watcher for this story of yours.
This sounds really good. I can't wait to read more. Keep up the good work.
My thoughts exactly Tavi.
Don't worry about the story being to long i still think it has a long way to go.
Beautiful story so far keep it up. Such an interesting ending by the way.
So it's diabetes in a shot glass?
Can't wait to see how this plays out.
I have to wonder if vinyl has this ruby
How are you a horrible influence, if you say that you're a horrible influence? You can only be a horrible influence if you're unrepentant about what you've done wrong!
Not knowing how your own story will end, or even where it's going, makes it that much better when you go back to read it when its finished! I know that I certainly didn't plan on half of the stuff that's happening in my own story...
I am going to choose to ignore all that you blurred out. i suggest in the best interest of your own health that you completely forget that idea all together.
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I think I would be sued by the readers for false advertising and pulling a "psp7master" (going with one theme and changing the story completely half way)
But worry not, I don't spoil my own stories, as even I don't know how they will end
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Have my pitchfork and torch lying ready for it!
Also he's called Soarin, not Sorin.
Oh boy. Poor Vinyl and Octavia. I hope they'll make up to each other.
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D-don't hurt me! The story isn't finished yet!
(Sorry about that, I'll be sure to fix that before I finish the next chapter. )
Great chapter. I love the last part where Spitfire and vinyl had the conversation.
Sorry for not being around. I've been caught up in school and just never really have much free time.
6191979 Since you can't tell, Vinyl's glaring PLOThole is staring straight at you
6191979 Also, I could fix your PC free if you want. I've been A+ certified since age 15.
Yikes a zombie! Oh wait its just this story Good to see it again
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i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/007/784/what-year-is-it-robin-williams.jpg
Revival! RESURRECTION! LESBIAN PONIES!!!
You should post a link to a youtube video of the song. If there isn't one, you should make one.
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When I saw the title, I literally heard "Money for nothin' and your chicks for free" (Money For Nothing by Dire Straits) in my head and I'm.. not certain why. It sounds kinda similar, I guess.
Anyway. I can't wait for the next chapter! Any plans or stuff in progress so far for it?
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I'll be honest I really like Money for Nothin', it's a pretty good song :P
But this title is ripped from Panic! At the Disco. :3
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Oh, awesome~ I love their music, I really should get back into listening to it...
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You can typically check my blog and I do updates on things like if I'm done or almost done with a story, plans for new ones, and I'm working on story trailers to pitch ideas.
As for this? Once I get a chance to get back to writing (hectic life and all) I'll be finishing the last chapter, and getting back to my other stuff! :)
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Last chapter? NOOOOOOOOoooooooo..... Why does this amazing work have to end? Why???
Awesome stuff ^-^ Due to my ADHD, I continually go from one story to another (once I finish, not while I'm in the middle of one), so I often rely on the Author's Note for info
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I know ;_; I was enjoying the ride as well, but like a stick or tower, if it goes on too long, it will become weak, off balance, and further from its roots.
That's pretty profound lol, you can quote that if you wish. But I understand I have ADHD pretty bad myself and you can see it in my writing, as I'll work on something, start something else, stop that, come back, and then come up with a premise for three other stories before I finished the first five :P
But I'll be sure to keep mild updates in the AN since I'm sure you're not the only one who feels that way, thank you for the feedback! :D
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You should check out my homepage. ^-^
And you're very welcome!
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Checked it out, and thank you ^¬^
I was sure to follow as well :3
Love banana flavour ice cream is great when I can find it.