Best chapter name on fimfiction? Best chapter name on fimfiction.

...this...doesn't feel like it properly fits the other chapters.

I'd explain further, but the best I can come up with is that it just doesn't feel right.

Was it meant as a joke?
'Cause I don't get it.

You can't end it like that! You still hadn't had Luna f*cked Zecora! You can't leave the sexy zebra out of this!

Hey, where'd the CMC, and Diamond and Tiara go? They just vanished!

That was quite a bangfest. Our little prince must have quite the endurance for being able to please so many in one night without feeling sore.
Then again, not mortal so yeah.

Also, the younger ones (including CMC) didn't get a mention - have they had some fun, or did they get shoo'd off for only just entering adulthood?

Also also, fourteen mares? Was that really all of them, or just the first batch?
Because from the previous chapters it sounded like there were more. A lot more.

Either way, great chapter.
Wouldn't mind seeing more, but even the ending which you gave it is good

um.... okay.

That happened

I wish that Princess Cadence was there to be fucked, but an awesome story anyway!!!1

6375821

No problem. Absurd as the premise may be, well, when people complain about how absurd a premise of a fic is, like say, this one, I point out that the premise of the show is far from realistic too. Considering it gave us memorable characters like Discord though, I'm not complaining.

6376933

Uh, no actually. Never seen the show honestly. Just sayin' that that's usually Luna's male counterpart's name.

13 Ns in the title and 16 mares. Well, 15 'on screen' but Zecora makes 16, and 22 if you count the CMC, Babs, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon who vanished. Not bad.

Still wholly unsatisfied with this ones ending.

will there be a sequel?

I swear, Luna must have some sort of portal-spell in his balls to get that much semen... I mean, over 15 times? I already start to hurt if I even think about coming more than 3 times in that short a timespan, let alone 15.

I'm still waiting on the better-paced version you promised.

While some of it is interesting, it's also a little disappointing. Specifically, it sets up a concept but never actually reaches the execution of it. Repeatedly, it is stated that the point is to have Prince Luna be dominant and assertive. Twilight even says that she and the others want him to dominate and use them, even be rough and aggressive. Early in the second chapter, he even admits to himself that he could have been more assertive and decides to do so.

Except he never does.

Pretty much the entire time, he is either sitting or laying back, and simply allowing the mares to do whatever they please. Even though he is supposed to be dominant and commanding, he is pretty much submissive the entire time. Yes, he picks the first mare to breed and be with, but then he just lets her take control and ride him. He holds Fluttershy in place, but only because he reached his orgasm and she happened to be on him. It was not even his choice to be with her at that point. He picks Twilight Sparkle specifically to be with at one point, and the previous chapters indicate he has more of an interest in her than the others, but he allows her to be pulled off him by the other mares because she was not going fast enough for their liking. Nevermind what he wanted.

This was one of two major points where there was a potential moment for the prince to take a step in the direction, showing him moving toward the desired position and behavior. The other being when Gilda basically dominated and got rough with him. Both times, he could have gotten mad about what was happening, and moved to take control, doing what he wanted the way he wanted. With Gilda it would have made it clear that he would not be used as a sex toy, and with Twilight it would have made it clear to the others that he made the choices and they were not to interfere. He does neither, being as submissive as claimed most stallions are, if not more so.

It is an interesting idea and set up, but it never reaches the execution.

I haven't read this and most likely never will, but you good sir/madam receive a hat tip for the sheer pro level of alliteration shown in that delightful third chapter title.

6803440
Yes, there is
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/344588/prince-luna-straight-drownin-in-mares-2-the-terrible-return-of-nightmare-moon

i dont like how they are objectifying themselves but i like this idea enough to ignore that

7304397

Very good points.