What fills and soothes the soul will vary, but for me, I will not know until I try.
The day seemed so ordinary. The rooster crowed, Apple Bloom got up, and she had her breakfast. Today would be the day she and her fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders earned their cutie marks. This wouldn't come to pass. Instead, today would be the day she learned about a long kept secret even her big sister didn't know about.
Page generated in 0.075 seconds
Total duration
647 users online
913,129 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This seems good.
Hmmm, interesting concept for a story. I'd like to know more about this dryad business, and why Celestia doesn't seem to like them.
I can see why Granny asked AJ not to say anything to Twilight, as she'd probably run straight to her former teacher and blab about Apple Bloom's secret. And I don't see that ending well for her relationship with AJ.
Not at all.
Can't wait to read more!
Faved, Tracked and upvoted!
Sorry, but I don't understand why the events at the lumer mill lead to the Apples telling Apple Bloom she's a dryad.
There's a few things that bothered me in this chapter, mainly Zecora coming from nowhere to the Princess meeting and your characterzation of Celestia.
Zecora is simple enough: it feels too random and doesn't make sense from what I've seen in the show.
About Celestia, I can easily accept rumors on her being so against Dryads beause those are rumors; but her really being that way I can't believe: Nightmare Moon had to be stopped because she wanted to bring eternal night, not because she had powers comparable to Celestia; Discord had to be stopped because he was bringing a world of chaos, not because what he is (otherwise he wouldn't have been given the chance to be redeemed). Sombra had to be stopped from his slaving of the Crystal Empire and Tired was going to cause an apocalypse because of him preventing any pony from using magic, the same magic that keeps their world running. What's so bad for her to make consider a dryad a danger that should be stopped just because it exists?
6034441
Perhaps the Everfree Forest itself is a result of the Dryads magic? A land untamable because of magic that can cancel out regular pony magic centuries after the death of the caster would be a pretty terrifying thing. Like, an anti-Alicorn or something.
>> DouglasTrotter
Oh, and I noticed a few errors. Please forgive as I nitpick.
--Actually, I think I'll message you with the bulk, and just leave some of the more interesting things here.
Cadance, Celestia, Luna, Shining, Twilight and Zecora. That's 6 Ponies. Are they playing musical chairs?
Can't take her own medicine, eh?
Though you may want to expand on her reaction a bit, Maybe describe the pie filling that oozes off of her face as she sits there, irked, maybe a bit dumbfounded, but not really surprised at the gag. As it is, it just feels kinda... flat.
Bit confused on this part. Did Celestia just teleport into the room or something?
6034441
Zecora's appearance at the meeting helps to fill a bit of a void gap between the Sprout and Disclosure chapters. It didn't feel right to just have Celestia know everything that occurred in the Ever Free Forest because of some mystical object.
As for Princess Celestia... who's to say the motherly mare doesn't have more secrets she keeps close to herself. I like to lace chapters with information/material that I can reference, expand upon, and use in later chapters. Trust me, all of it will come to light as to why she despises dryads and views them as a threat. I feel this story deserves more than a simple 6 to 8 chapters to round things out.
6035310
Thanks for the message and PM. I wholeheartedly appreciate the nitpicking since it helps me pick up the things that were missed, and it allows me to grow as a writer.
6035693 You mean I have to wait at least to double your chapter count to see if you bother to justify yourself on Celestia being out-of-character? I'm out.
*downvotes, removes from tracked stories* A pity, I like the premise.
6035722
Huh? I'm a little confused. Perhaps I didn't word that sentence correctly, you may have misinterpreted it, or both.
"I feel this story deserves more than a simple 6 to 8 chapters to round things out."
What I'm trying to say is that I want to finish the story itself with more chapters than what I'm used to doing, which is around 7 chapters for my longer stories. I do apologize if you were lead to believe I would wait till 20 chapters down the road to reveal Celestia's motives for hating dryads. Trust me, I am a fellow reader of stories and watcher of anime, shows, etc..., and I absolutely loathe it when writer's and people behind that particular media drag things out. It hurts the overall material, and this ultimately causes readers to lose interest in what could otherwise be a brilliant piece of literature.
Now, though I have said that, I also understand my responsibilities as a writer to tell a compelling story and parse things out to pull the reader further into the story.
To sum things up: No, I won't drag out the material behind Princess Celestia. As a writer, I don't like to do that. What I will do is parse things out so it can culminate into a greater chapter.
6036158 My whole argument is based on the idea of Celestia haring dryads just beause they are dryads is OOC of her, otherwise she wouldn't have tried to have Discord reformed. I'm not claiming she's perfect, either. I'm not claiming she's perfect either: the TV show makes a great work to make her fallible.
My thoughts on Celestia were simple: rumors about Celestia being OOC? a bit bothersome but I can accept them because it's the source of conflict in your story, rumors can be mistaken and corrected, and apologies can be told and accepted once the rumors were clarified. Now you've confirmed the rumors and honesrly I can't be bothered to invest myself emotionally in your story for how lont it may take to you to justify Celestia's actions.
Of course, worst cases are you writing an ouright bad explanation or you simply not getting to write an explanation at all (real life can happen to all of us).
Probably it's because I'm having some deja vu[1] but I have very difficult time believing I'm going to be satisfied with your explanation when/if you upload it.
[1] A highly updating story which had a great premise but failed on OOCness because the author couldn''t care to think on the protagonist's motivations. Then I made the mistake of investing myself in the story regardless, continuing to read it: then came me metaphorically beating the chapters up via revieews to make the author correct him not having an idea of where to go with the story, making a rewrite where nothing ever went even remotely wrong, changing the 'verse only to show the protagonists be seen better, and creating exectatives yet never realizing them and outright boring to read, feeling myself dying a little with every new chapter.
Wouldn't you know that that little bitch Diamond Tiara would stick her nose in everything and cause trouble for AB? (Well, what RD said admittedly didn't help matters any, but still.........!)
And everypony wonders why I hate that little twit so much.
But Celestia needs to let go of what happened in the past. That wasn't Apple Bloom's fault.
As to this
So do yours, bitch. So do yours.
Namely.........
As to the Ponyville ingrates (weird how they turn on folks when the going gets tough, huh?), the Apples should just refuse to do business with any of them, and send their produce and stuff out of town to sell.
And after what Diamond Bitch did, Granny should flat-out cut all ties, business and otherwise, with Filthy Rich, to show him that there's consequences for what his little "princess" did.
Actions have consequences Celestia and yours will lose you the Mane 6.