Goku and Vegeta Take on Equestria

by Armageddin

An apple a day...

Applejack was shaken trough her core as she, and the grounds around sweet apple acres were surprised by an earthquake as two objects forcefully slammed into the ground close to the border of one of the orchards. Moments later, a massive wall of wind caused by the explosion reached the apple farmer, knocking her against one of the unbucked trees. The impact of her body against the tree was enough to let the apples fall, showering her under a pile of reds.

“W-what in the name Tartarus was that?!” Applejack mumbled to herself as she climbed her way out of the pile of apples.

Rubbing the back of her head, Applejack winced as she felt the bump on the back of her head, which was quickly growing in size. With stars still shooting across her eyes, she turned her vision to the direction where the explosion came from. Witnessing a big plume of smoke that was starting to rise above the treetops.

“Must be Rainbows work again.” She mumbled. “By Celestia, that mare is going to get us out of business one day with the damage she causes cuz of those stunts she is trying tah pull off!”

Shaking off the last few stars in her vision, Applejack grabbed her beloved Stetson from the ground, and took off full speed in the direction the smoke was coming from.

---

West Orchard

"DAMMIT KAKAROT, YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER!" Vegeta screamed to himself, as he pulled his face from the dirt it got lodged in. Jumping up from the crater where he crash-landed, he began to brush off the dirt and grass stuck to his armor, satisfied that it still was in one piece. Brushing of the last few bits of rubble, Vegeta began to walk towards the second crater which was, unsurprisingly, made by Goku himself. Looking down the crater, Vegeta’s eyes shimmered with glee as he found the Saiyan he was looking for. ”AHA!” Vegeta shouted with predatory grin. “Some bitch is gunna die tonight!”

At the bottom of the second crater. Goku was laid down on his back, with a big, goofy smile forming on his face. “Wowie that was a big crash” He thought with a giggle. “Almost as good as when Mr. Popo kicked me off the lookout!” Deciding that a nap would be a good idea, Goku opened one of his eyes, as a familiar voice reached his ears. Clearing his vision, he saw Vegeta standing at the rim of the crater, looking at him.

“What do you mean Vegeta?” Goku asked in confusion.

“Oh I’m sorry, I’m sorry. What I meant was.” Vegeta took a moment to clear his throat, and began to shout.
“WHAT I MEANT WAS THAT I WILL LITERALLY KILL YOU, THEN FACE-FUCK YOUR SKULL, THEN BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE AND BITCH-SLAP YOU FOR FUCKING ETERNITY YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

"V-Vegeta?" Goku sputtered out, looking up at Vegeta.

"WHAT!?"

“You have some dirt in your hair.” He said, with the same stupid smile on his face as before.

“OH FOR FUCK SAKE! THAT’S FUCKING IT! COOKING CARROT IN FIVE!” Vegeta shouted as he stretched his arm down the hole, aiming his hand at Goku’s face.

“Vegeta?”

“FOUR!”

“You should take an aspirin”

“THREE!

“Or maybe take a nap?”

“TWO!”

“Because naps are good!”

“ONE!!!”

“Hey! What are y’all doing in mah orchard!?” An unfamiliar female voice shouted to the Saiyan,

“Next time Kakabitch...”

“Next time.”

“Oh for fuck sake.” Vegeta grumbled to himself as he lowered his arm. “If you could just give me a minute to erase this idiot here. Then I gladly would leave this… Tree place thingy in peace…” Turning his head to where the voice was coming from, Vegeta locked his eyes on the person, or rather, equine, who was shouting at him.
“Alright woma-"

"aaaaand I am talking to a horse... A small, bright orange horse…”

"With a hat…”

“…”

“Yep I’m dead” Vegeta laughed to himself. “I died and that big red fuck Yemma created a special version of hell for little old me…”

“Fucking. Great… Might as well trow Nappa in here why don’t you?”

”The master called?”

”Oh fuck off Nappa!”

“Eyy. I can’t help it that your mighty Saiyan brain has his the ground a few times too often. By the way, you should probably dodge.”

”Dodge? Dodge what?”

His thoughts were interrupted as a red object smashed right against the front of his head, spraying a sticky liquid over his face.

“The fuck?” Zoning back into the world, Vegeta looked at the horse again, which was holding another red object in her front hoof. The same that hit him square in the face just a moment ago. “The fuck was that!? Did you throw that?” he shouted to the orange horse.

“Yes ah did!” Applejack shouted to the Saiyan. “And yer gonna tell me right now what yer all doing here. And especially why you monkeys have been destroying mah precious apple trees!”

“Monkey? Fuck you! I ain’t no monkey, I’m a Saiyan!.” Vegeta shouted back to Applejack “And besides. I won’t take orders from a horse.”

“Well ah ain’t no horse! Ah’m a pony!” Applejack shouted back again as she began to walk to the confused Saiyan who, bluntly said, had no fucking clue on what to do here. “And yer on private property. Mah property. So yer obliged to answer mah questions!”

“Well you can answer this!” Vegeta laughed as he flipped the bird to the orange pony, who just looked at him in confusion. ”Now please. Fuck off while I’ll leave this place. Oh, and you can keep dickbiscuit over there as well.” Vegeta said as he pointed to the crater Goku now was standing next to. “Because there is no way in hell I am taking that mook with me. Now… Ta ta!.” Vegeta said laughing as he began to walk towards the wooden fences in the distance, ignoring the pony who was shouting at him again.

---

“Dagnabbit!” Applejack shouted to herself. “Why in Celestia’s name did I get this problem thrown at mah hooves. And what in Equestria’s name am I going to do with this… Clothed ape?!”

“Eh, Excuse me…” An new voice called behind her. “Eh, Miss?”

“Applejack is the name.” Applejack said, as she turned around to face our Saiyan hero. “And yer from the same place as that other monkey aren’t ya?” She said, as she walked to face Goku. “I want to hear a darn good reason why you two decided to crash into mah orchard!”

“Well I’m sorry Miss Applejack.” Goku began to say with a soft expression. “We did not mean to crash inside your trees. Honest! When I made my wish to this place, I did not expect that we would be treated as an airdrop.” Goku said with a shameful smile.

“Wish...” Applejack said with a raising eyebrow. “Yer serious?”

“Yeppo! Every bit of it!”

“... Eh, seems reasonably believable. Now tell me.” She said, as she faced Goku again. “Who is that other monkey, and why did he talk so… Weird to me?”

“Oh that is Vegeta! He’s my best buddy!” Goku said with a smile. “He is a bit mopey, but he sure is the best!

“...Riiight. And yer name was again?”

“Goku, Miss Applejack.”

“Alright… Goku. Now how about we call back yer friend over there back, so that we can talk about how we are gunna repair the damage y’all caused. Okay?” Applejack said as she turned herself back to the path Vegeta was walking on.

“Hello?! Mister Vegeta?!” Applejack shouted to the small speck walking down the path. “Could ya please come back to talk about this?!”

"Fuck off!"

“Whelp. He ain’t listening. Time to do it the hard way then.”

---

“Now where the fuck could I be?” Vegeta thought to himself as he walked down the trail. “This can‘t be Earth. Because last time I checked Earth did not have any talking ponies. Dinosaurs, robots and anthropomorphic animals… Yes. But this is just outright bullshit! Way too colorful too. Like someone dropped a bucket of paint while building this place.”

“I want to go to a world with sunshine, and rainbows and... TALKING PONIES, YEAH!”

Vegeta stopped dead in his tracks as the memory slammed back into him. “The… The wish…”

“And I want Vegeta to go there too!”

“Kakarot made that fucking wish!”

“…”

“IM GOING TO FUCK HIS CORPSE ONCE IM DONE WITH H-”

Vegeta never was able to finish his sentence, as a bright orange hoof shot out of the bushes next to him, crashing right into his crown jewels, sending him down instantly.

“Ah’m mighty sorry fer doing this sugarcube. But I told ya to stop, but ya just didn’t listen!”

“...”

“Eh, scuse me?”

“My… My dick!”

“Ah didn’t quite catch that.”

And from that moment the legends told that when a pony listens close enough, he, or she could hear the screams of the mighty Saiyan prince carrying on with the winds. As they were carved into the winds.

Forever.

Author's Note:

It has been a while...

PM for any grammatical errors, and other mistakes found in the story!

Comments

[DoctorWhooves1]

Ba ha ha ha ha ha hahahah this is hilarious! Ba ha ha

[coolguy]

10/10

[117dragon]

Oh my God, It's alive!

[Royal Blaze]

10/10 best crossover

[Grey Wolf]

Pfffttthahahahahaha I can't believe you updated! Best day ever! Well done, friendo! Keep up the awesome (and hilarious) work!

[Starlight Breeze]

Earlier today I was browsing all the old stories I tagged and came across this one.

Wished it would get a new chapter and, seriously no lie, I got an email notification five minutes later that it had been updated.

Thank you, you made my day.

[rikusorasephiroth]

“I died and Mr. Satan created a special version of hell for little old me…”

NO!
NO!
BAD!
Mr Satan is NOT actually Satan!

You change that to King Yemma, NOW!

[rikusorasephiroth]

“Because there is no way in hell I am taking that moop with me. Now… Ta ta!.”

Moop?
Dafuq's a moop?
You meant mook, right?

[rikusorasephiroth]

Now we just need a new muffin button, Derpy, Vegeta to introduce himself to either Celestia or Luna with the EXACT same speech he gave to robot-Cooler.

"I am Vegeta! Prince of all Saiyans! Last of my royal blood! Bringer of death! Destroyer of worlds! And wrecker of your shit."

[Hairy Konquerer]

And pnce again natural order is restored with Vegeta being kicked in the dick

[Avatar Eddy]

You just made my day. XD

[Formboy1]

XD HAHAHAHA!! IT RETURNS!!!!

[Grey Wolf]

Also, I have a question: When does this story take place in MLP? Season 4? 5? After Season 5 finale?

[DonnEStarside]

Oh hey! This updated! And Vegeta has been kicked in the dick, all is as it should be.

[The Dark Brony]

6712567 Vegeta VS Mecha Cooler.
This is all i can thing of for that

[howard035]

I can't believe every single pony in Equestria punched Vegeta in the dick...

[Armageddin]

6712143 Well the story is definitely not going to have a canon timeline. But I guess it plays around season 4/s4 finale. Because there is a certain villain I like to use.

[Grey Wolf]

6714859 Oh, I know what villain you're referring to He has horns, right? Also, please make use of Twilight's Kingdom epic-ness

[commando]

6714859 When is the next chapter coming out?

[rikusorasephiroth]

Update?