A Modest Proposal

by BubblePuff

Part 1

A MODEST PROPOSAL

BY

BubblePuff

royal palace. She looked up at the moon and the stars, the very things she was in control of.“Are you ready Luna?” Celestia asked. Luna stood on the balcony of her room at the

Luna turned to face her sister. “Is there no other way?” she asked. Celestia stood firm, but spoke with gentle voice.

“I wish that there was. I have tried every other option that there is, but this is the only way. It is for the good of all of Equestria in the long run.”

Luna closed her eyes and lowered her head. She let out a deep sigh. “Then let us do what must be done, for Equestria” The two sisters then proceeded towards the throne room. The palace guards closed the doors and locked them shut.

The early morning peace in Ponyville was shattered by horrified screams. Pinkie Pie had been scared awake by the sounds of screaming and crying coming from down the hall at Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie raced out of her room and followed the noise to the nursery. There, she found Mrs. Cake crying hysterically as Mr. Cake held her tight. “What in the hay is going on!?” she asked in a frantic voice.

Mr. Cake looked over at Pinkie Pie, tears streaming down his face. “Pinkie, Pumpkin and Pound Cake are gone! We came in to the nursery to give them their morning feeding, and they weren’t in their cribs!”

Pinkie Pie’s mouth dropped to the floor. “Don’t worry Mr. Cake, I’ll find them!” Pinkie Pie zipped around Sugarcube Corner, looking up, down, left, right, backwards, forwards, and every direction imaginable. She had literally searched every nook and cranny, but could not find any trace of the twins.

Twilight had arrived at Sugarcube Corner to get some breakfast, only to discover that it was not open yet. “That’s odd” Twilight thought to herself, “They’re usually open by now” Twilight then a loud commotion coming from inside. She unlocked the door and peeked her head in. “Hello, is everything alright?”

Pinkie Pie spotted Twilight and ran up to her. “Twilight, you have to help! The Cake twins are missing! I’ve looked all over Sugarcube Corner, But I can’t find them anywhere!”

“Pinkie, calm down! Now where are Mr. and Mrs. Cake?” Pinkie Pie lead Twilight to the nursery where Mr. Cake was still consoling Mrs. Cake. “Mr. and Mrs. Cake? I’m here to help you. Tell me everything that happened” Twilight said. Mrs. Cake explained everything that had transpired. Twilight then began looking around the room for clues. Right away she noticed something. “Is the window to the nursery always open?”

“No, we keep it closed every night” Mrs. Cake replied. Twilight knew that this was the first clue. She examined the window sill and discovered a white feather.

Pinkie Pie approached Twilight. “What is it?”

Twilight held up the feather with her magic. “Our first piece of evidence. I’ll need to take back to the castle to examine it” Twilight turned to Mr. and Mrs. Cake. “Don’t worry, Pumpkin and Pound Cake will be found and brought home safely” She told them reassuringly.

“Twilight you have to let me help you” Pinkie Pie said. “I’m responsible for looking after Pumpkin and Pound Cake, and I will not rest until they are found!” Pinkie Pie stamped her hoof down on the floor.

“Of course Pinkie, I understand. Now let’s get back to castle” Twilight and Pinkie Pie ran out of Sugarcube Corner and headed back to Twilight’s castle to use her lab.

At Twilight’s castle, she and Pinkie Pie began working in the lab to study the feather. Twilight examined it under a microscope while Pinkie Pie became distracted, looking at beakers full of chemicals and trying to touch a Tesla coil.

“Don’t touch that” Twilight said bluntly as she looked through the microscope. Pinkie Pie quickly put down her hoof and went over to twilight.

“So, what have you found out?”

“This feather isn’t from any known species of bird. And it definitely isn’t from a Griffon” Twilight looked up from the microscope and put her hoof to her chin. “Which can only mean…”

“It’s from a Pegasus!” Pinkie Pie shouted out.

“Yeah, but that’s the problem. Do you know how many Pegasi live in Ponyville, let alone Equestria? Trying to find the culprit is like trying to find a needle in a haystack”

“No! We can’t give up!” Pinkie Pie said with a look of determination on her face. “Pumpkin and Pound Cake are my responsibility, and I will not give up on them!”

Twilight looked at Pinkie Pie. Part of her was telling her that this was a matter for the police. Another part however was telling her that she needed to help out her friend. “You’re right Pinkie, we can’t give up. Let’s head back to town and start questioning ponies to find witnesses”

Pinkie Pie put on her detective hat. “The game is ahoof!”

Twilight and Pinkie Pie headed out and began to question every pegasus that lived near Sugarcube Corner. The two questioned every pegasus with white feathers in town , but their investigation turned up nothing.

Twilight and Pinkie Pie walked down the street. Pinkie Pie hung her head. “Ugh, this investigation is getting us nowhere!”

“Don’t give up Pinkie. Pumpkin and Pound Cake still need our help. we just have to-” Twilight stopped in mid-sentence when she noticed something from the corner of her eye.

“Twilight what is it?”

“There’s a cloaked pony following us”

“Where?” Pinkie Pie turned her head to look, but Twilight pulled her back.

“Don’t look. We don’t want that pony to know that we’re on to them. Just keep walking and follow my lead”

Twilight and Pinkie Pie kept walking until they turned and walked down an ally. The cloaked pony continued to follow them. After walking down the alley, the cloaked pony lost sight of them. Suddenly, Twilight and Pinkie Pie jumped out from behind some garbage cans. Twilight pinned the cloaked pony to the ground.

“Alright, who are you and why are you following us?” Twilight pulled back the pony’s hood, then stood in shock at the face staring back at her. It was her brother, Shining Armour.

Comments

[StarRibbon]

Good premise, but slow down. It's way to fast, maybe let on the mystery longer than that, throw in a chase sequence, really, make the premise florish. It's too fast right now, but I have confidence you'll fix that.

[Samey90]

Hmm, a fic named after Jonathan Swift's essay? Need to check it out.

[Samey90]

Well, the pacing is definitely a bit too fast. Also, unless you're planning some big plot twist later, I can easily figure the further events out Celestia foalnapped the twins for some reason, right? Judging by the title, to eat them. Not a good sign, if you were going for a mystery fic.