• Member Since 10th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

BubblePuff


I am a brony and a long time writer. This site will be for my MLP fanfiction, and you can read my other works on Deviantart.com under the name potsticker13.

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A new born foal causes an uproar in the Crystal Empire, when it is discovered that he bears the horn of King Sombra. Princess Cadence wants to raise the foal as her own, but Shining Armor is weary of the baby colt.

Chapters (24)
Comments ( 150 )

Dude, my edits were entered as suggestions and you took the original copy (therefore, not my edits...). Now you're missing 20+ periods and have a few other accidents...

It's a good concept, but concept alone will not get you far. Your story's pacing is very fast with little depth and weight to the events that are happening. If I were you I would add more to the scenes, this means you will need to write more, but the more you have the better. Right now it just looks like a laundry list of events with not much happening or doesn't make any sense because there's not enough to go on when reading. I'm not trying to be mean to you, but if you want this story to be really great, you need to put more into it.

Okay, I have to do this

North Star, thank you for taking the piss out of Shining Armor *making a mockery of him in this chapter*.

Also, I really love Cadance's moments of happiness. It seems that nothing can keep her from having a family. I hope to see more.

kudos to you Shining!

Just noticed a wrong word in the description. Change "weary" to "wary". :twilightsmile:

I foresee bad things in the next chapter

Awww.

And as for Summer's father, I know it isn't Soarin. Soarin ain't a jerk.

Deadpool reference.

Good chapter.

Cute! :pinkiesmile: I can't wait for the next chapter.

Sombra. No doubt about it.

lol. Flash got served by a toddler. Dumb-Dumb! lol.

Oh Sombra, Sombra, Sombra, you'll be so surprised to learn how nurture can conquer nature.

This story could possibly go one of two ways: The Omen or Winter Bells.

Elu

There are no magical condoms in Equestria? Really?

Nice Deadpool reference here. Breaking the fourth wall is a good thing to do from time to time, really,

why all the hate with flash¿

6480945 because some people don't like how the movie present him. He is mostly known as a waifu stealer.

Anyway, good chapter.

Just wait til Flash as kids with Twilight.

Its only a matter of time before North Star says a swear word with those insults :eeyup: can't wIt to see Shiny get in trouble for that :heart:

Poor Flash. I pity him as a foalsitter.

Then again, I pity him in general. Dude's getting screwed worse than Shining Armor.

Great chapter! I hope we get some answers soon...

I imagine that Sombra is taking a page from Darth Vitiate, dividing his essence into multiple vessels as he lacks a corporeal body, for now....

I think you'll find Sombra that your weapon will be nigh impossible to weild. He's seen how your enemy views the world and seems to be appreciating it quite well. Will he be tempted perhaps but even now I can already see the temptation will power whether it takes 10 seconds or 10 days it will pass.

You've already lost.

I shalt pursue this story, and all it continues with.

What are you scheming sombra?

6526511 I actually modeled Sombra after Sauron from the lord of the rings.

6526792 But is it possible to fight fate?

6529729 True but his plan is reminiscent of a lich, and I have a nagging suspicion of what his phylactery is and whom his new vessel will be. Still a nice story, looking forward to updates.

“We must test whether there is any dark magic in North Star or not.”
holy shit, someone with some common sense!

“There is no trace of dark magic within him.”
ok?...
“In fact, there is no trace of any magic within him at all.”
wait...
“The child is perfectly healthy. We have found no complications whatsoever. The only problem, obviously, is his horn. Tell me Princess, is this the return of Sombra?”
hey cadance, you might wanna go down to the hospital agian and fire that doctor.

plot holes aside i shall continue reading... to early to make much of a judgement of this story.

6529731 [Expletive] on fate! If we believed in fate would humans truly do half the stupid stunts we pull! So many things were supposedly fated to happen and someone(s) always managed to find a way to defy the odds that say this is what you'll be! Heck I'd wager at least half of the prophecies in media were more self fulfilling than anything else and probably wouldn't have occurred if no one spoke of them in the first place. Let Sombra keep his little fortune cookie prophecies, no one is fated for anything! If Taffy 3 could hold off Ozawa's center force at the battle of Samar than North can resist Sombra's schemes!

6529998 This is just a story. It is not real. You are taking this way too seriously.

6531337 Err I think your taking my comment to seriously, I meant it in more of a bring it on sort of way, but I can see it might be a bit to upstartish, my apologies if that is the case.

Still to fate bring it on.

TY so much for this post. I cant wait for more. added this story to my favs :derpytongue2:

Oi.:facehoof: He's not even in his teens and already he's curious about the opposite sex!

Hmmm so his cells absorb and store outside Magic, Sombra seems to be planning to either store his soul in North Star or put some other form of dark magic inside of him.

However if Sombra wants to play with biology than we'll just have to out technomagibabble him and develop a dark magic antibody for North Star's cells to make it much more difficult for dark magic to be absorbed, and ensure that it is eventually purged from his system.

6607066 I was thinking the same thing... with his low natural magic (from what the first Doctor's test found) and this new developing magic storing cells, North Star is looking like a host body for Sombra's incorporeal form. So he himself isn't a risk, but he represents a possible threat. Maybe a torc that would contain dark magic he might be exposed to?

Just in time for the holidays.

call him Red Sea

Kids will be kids.

I'm with North Star on this one. The bully was a meanie.

Shining Armour is tired of the colt? When he first meets him. Wow, that's harsh.

Or did you mean 'wary' in the title description rather than 'weary'.

Awww...poor North Star. I wonder why Luna can't help him...

6826423 Because Sombra sadly isn't stupid enough to not realize how North's family in all but blood and friends can bring him back to the light side. No doubt he made sure to have some form of warding against Luna entering North's dreams.

Although if North were able to gain control of his dreams on his own...

6826638 I guess that's true. Boo Sombra! Leave North Star alone!

Someone needs to record what is happening in that class to prove North Star's innocence.

This is a very fun story. If you plan on adding more to the story you should make spike the really fun uncle/ cousin who gets north and summer out of trouble to go to the park or have some ice cream. Also give him a moustache. ( I couldn't put the emote down because I'm on my phone)

Honey Badger DGAF

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