Luna's Greatest Plan Ever
"Twilight, I...Ah...Um...Will you…" Celestia, Eternal Princess of the sun, one of the most powerful beings in existence, and exceptional leader of a large nation, was having more than a little trouble getting her words out. Partly because her throat felt drier than scorched parchment, though that was likely caused by the second reason: The pony that had melted her heart so many years ago, and had now stolen it, stood before her. She had been summoning up all her courage all week, practicing what she'd say, worrying if she'd be shot down or outright rejected, and then spending hours this very morning fussing over her appearance, despite the fact that she quite literally defined beauty and grace in the realm, and all of that had been for naught- when it came to the point, she was still too nervous to say what she wanted to.
"Are you feeling alright, Princess?" Twilight Sparkle stood stock still: They'd been walking through the castle gardens, relaxing after a tough advanced magic lesson, when suddenly Celestia had stopped and turned to her. That had been several minutes ago, and since then she'd been trying to tell her something. She'd started a dozen or so times but had yet to make much sense.
The Solar Princess let out a small growl of frustration. Her mouth refused to obey her mind, no matter how hard she tried. With the heat her cheeks were giving off she was half-amazed nothing had burst into flames just yet. She could see concern in her love's eyes. That wasn't right at all! She had to back out before any damage was done...Her ticket to temporary release presented itself as a pegasus, lazily floating through the sky above and occasionally throwing itself into slow loops and corkscrews. What it was doing that close to the castle without an escort left some security questions unanswered, but she was willing to forgo that lapse to salvage the situation at hoof, "Hey, look!" She said, raising a hoof to point at the pegasus, her voice only shaking a little bit. In the same second as her former student had looked up, she instantly wiped the redness from her cheeks and the nervousness from her eyes, leaving herself with only the usual calm facade. She turned so she was no longer facing the younger alicorn quite so confrontationally and cleared her throat, "I'm sorry about that, Twilight. Must be the stress of running this country getting to me!" She laughed lightly, watching the varying shades of suspicion, surprise and relief wash over her, "Let's carry on."
The two ponies walked away, friendly small-talk naturally taking up the silence. Celestia's head held a little lower than normal, but no-one would be able to tell she was feeling more than slightly annoyed with herself.
From a nearby bush came a hissing sound. Within said bush, two ponies sat, unmoving as stone- Princess Luna and Pinkie Pie were crouched with both streamers and paint-stripper, ready for Celestia's victory or crushing defeat on her own conquest for love. They had not been expecting such a cop-out climax.
"Well that was lame."
"I agree- she has started and won wars with only her words, and yet she cannot even let her feelings be known."
There was a companionable silence in the undergrowth for a few moments, before Luna spoke up again, "Shall we head inside? I think- Ow!"
"Ants! Ants! Bitey, angry, ouchy ants!"
Within the second the princess and the baker were fleeing across the garden, flailing wildly to dislodge the harassing insects.
-
Several minutes later, in the Lunar suite, Luna sat on her bed whilst the energetic pink mare had seated herself on a plush cushion.
“She's incapable.” Luna sighed, “She has tried several times previously to let her feelings be known, but failed miserably at each attempt.”
“How do you know Twilight even feels the same way?” Asked Pinkie.
“I've seen their dreams…I don’t wish to remember them now, but I’m well assured she does feel for my sister too.”
Pinkie sat quietly, her eyes closed with concentration, before she sparked up,"Why don't you just tell Twilight for her? That way she'd know what Celestia wanted her to, but without them having to directly talk about it."
Luna considered this for a few moments, "That may work, but it seems a little too impersonal for a matter of the heart."
"You could use a spell to make yourself look like your sister. Then it would seem genuine."
"Miss Sparkle is a very talented magician- she'd detect any sort of magical field."
"She didn't notice Chrysalis', she just kinda’ figured her out..."
"Chrysalis…CHANGELINGS!" Luna suddenly exclaimed, shocking the other pony onto her back, "Pinkamena, you are an absolute scholar! Thank the stars Sparkle brought you along!"
Pinkie raised an eyebrow, "But they attacked Canterlot a couple of months ago, and Queen Chrysalis was the worst of all- She made Twilight cry with her tricks!"
"I caught up with their forced retreat." Said Luna, calmly, "Turns out Changeling rulers are very reasonable when they're on the moon but haven't been taught how to br-" She saw the aghast look on Pinkie's face and stopped instantly, "Ahem. Anyway, I have her at my beck and call. I have an enchanted crystal ball which links to hers so we can communicate easily." She floated a wooden case over from a nearby shelf. The brass clasps clicked open, revealing a small, clear sphere.
"Oooh, shiny." A pink hoof reached for it put was batted away.
"This is an incredible piece of magical technology, not a toy." Luna held the orb between them as a blue spark leapt to it from her horn. The surface clouded over, as if filled with smoke that quickly grew dark, before revealing the leering face of the Changeling Queen.
"Princess." She said curtly, her strange, vibrating tone carrying into the room.
"Chrysalis," The mock-sweetness in the Princess' voice was almost sickly, "We have a little something you would be most suited for. You wouldn't deny us, would you?"
A flicker of something like fear flickered through her eyes and she coughed, "How may I be of assistance?" Her forced politeness strained her voice.
"We simply need you to take a pony's place and act upon their feelings for them. Changeling things." She said with a less-than-friendly smile.
"And don't be all Meany-pants and evil, thanks." Added Pinkie.
"Hmph, I really have no choice. I'll-" The orb suddenly went dark again and a muffled shout could just be heard.
"Mother! These are our chambers! You can't just- go away!"
Chrysalis reappeared, "As I was saying, I'll be wanting something in return."
"What was-"
"No-one!" A slight blush began to form on her cheeks and she cleared her throat loudly, "I shall arrive late this evening. I'll find you."
"Chryssie, dear, your sister-"
"Shut up! I'm talking to Princess of the Night!”
"Your little friends can wait a minute, dear, now come here.”
Pinkie and Luna looked at each other, fighting a losing battle to keep a straight face.
There was an exasperated snort and the Changeling queen leered forward, staring straight at Luna through the orb, "Excuse me I have matters to attend to. Expect me soon." Then the sphere turned clear once more.
"Mother?" Pinkie broke the weak silence and opened the gates.
"Pinkamena, does your mother constantly ask of you when you're in the company if royalty?" Luna snorted.
Pinkie was a mess of infectious giggles, "Chryssie! Chryssie! My little giant, evil, bug-thing, Chryssie!" She rolled around on her back, her whole body shaking with her laughter.
And then they both descended into gales of mirth.
The two royal guards on the Princess' door simply looked at each other with wide eyes and took a careful step away.
-
Several hours later, when the skies had darkened and the moon hung low before its climb, Princess Luna and Pinkie Pie stood at the highest balcony in Canterlot Castle, just watching quietly as the Equestrian night began to awaken. A squad of Thestral guards flitted across the moon as they scattered for their nightly hunt, accompanied by the sound of their leathery wings beating and the howls and calls of the nocturnal birds. The various small villages and towns that specked the plains below began to light up like so many fireflies.
"Princess Luna," The calmness was shattered by the messenger’s shout, "Message for you!" A chalky white unicorn galloped up from behind, carrying a bound scroll in her ruby-red magic.
Luna took the letter without even looking. She unfurled it, finding only two words written in the middle of the page in the most elegantly flowing hoof-writing ever:
‘Too easy.’
"Changing the colour of your magic, now that is difficult." The smug, thrumming tone could only belong to one pony.
"Hello, Chryssie, did your mother let you out to play?" Luna said mockingly as she turned to face the now-unveiled Changeling.
Pinkie turned like lightning and flicked Chrysalis' horn, causing the magical glow to blink and sputter, "Hey, does she know you invaded Equestria and nearly started a war? 'Cos she really should know that sorta' thing."
The queen slumped back, "I'm here, your guards are stupid and soft, and my wings feel like they're about to snap off. Antagonize me later, please."
"Aww, spoilsport." Pinkie stuck her tongue out before she was pushed aside by the princess.
"You may rest 'til dawn. Pinkamena here shall accompany you to my guest suite where you will stay. Please remain disguised at all times." Luna put a hoof on the balcony barrier, "I have a few things to sort before sunrise." She stepped up so that her forelegs both held the edge, then, with a nod to them both, she flung herself off and spread her wings.
"So, where's my bed?" Chrysalis asked dryly, looking up from the darkness Luna had disappeared into.
"Follow me! But you're going to need to do the thing where you become a pony."
She grunted quietly, and with a green glow, the white Guards-mare had reappeared. She then broke into a sprint to catch up to her bouncing, pink guide.
Far below, Luna glided silently on wings darker than her night towards the last light glowing through the windows of the castle- Celestia's bedroom.
She touched down with nary a sound on the balcony and folded her wings. With a furtive look around, she sneaked to the window ledge and hoisted herself up to peer in.
Celestia lay on her bed, that little rag-doll of Twilight's was held under her chin as she slept. She was deeply asleep, fatigued by her day, no doubt. Luna flicked her horn towards her sister, casting a dark ball of magic through the glass which latched onto her horn and spread itself over the spiraled alicorn, turning the radiant white to a dull grey. "Just something to help you sleep, dear sister. Pleasant dreams."
A smile appeared on the sleeping princess' lips and she nuzzled the doll unconsciously.
"On any other night I may wander your dreams, but I feel that would be in poor taste." Luna snorted in amusement as Celestia buried her nose in Smartypants' chest, "I also have no wish to see young Sparkle as you apparently do."
-
"Wakey-wakey!"
Chrysalis was royalty; a Queen of her kind- and somewhat unwelcome to the concept of being rudely awoken by a pink earth-pony bouncing on her. Needless to say, if one of her swarm had attempted to do so, and had managed to get past the score or so of elite guards that guarded her chambers, it would have been vaporised near-instantly.
Pinkie Pie, however, was a pony, and they were in Equestria, a place which Changelings were effectively forbidden to stand, so Chrysalis thought better of it, instead opting to push her away with a half-hearted shove.
"Silly!" Pinkie exclaimed as she landed elegantly, watching the Queen tumble out of bed, "Come on, lazy- Luna's waiting for you."
"Mrrffle." She mumbled, clutching at what she could reach of a blanket before it was tugged from her grasp. With a defeated sigh, she rose groggily to her hooves and glared at her pink annoyance.
"Hearts and Hooves Day officially begins in an hour or so, when Princess Cadence announces it, and Luna wants everything sorted by then."
"Fine! Lead on, just please, be quiet." She snapped. With a green glow, her sleek, black body had returned to that of the guard.
Pinkie just smiled again- that same, endless smile- and disappeared through a nearby doorway.
Several minutes of following through the corridors and halls of Canterlot Castle later, they finally met Luna. She was standing by a pair of giant double-doors, cracked wide open and holding a view of the land spread for miles before them, as her horn sparked and shone intensely.
"Good morning, both." She said without turning to see them, "The sun is a little bit harder to control than the moon." There was an unusual strained quality to her voice.
Several seconds passed before the meaning got through.
"What, in the sweet name of Mother, have you done?!" Chrysalis hopped forward, suddenly very much wide awake, to see the sun rising, albeit a little shakily, above the horizon.
Luna's magic faltered and faded and she dropped to the floor heavily, “That was quite exhausting.”
“I don’t…No. Just, no.” Chrysalis took a deep breath and turned back, “Tell me what to do before I go mad here.”
“Simply, become Celestia and try to court the young Twilight Sparkle.”
The look on the Changeling’s face told her all she needed to know, “Your two favourite ponies, second only to Princess Cadence, I know, but I have a little something to sway your mind.” Luna leaned in and whispered in her ear. Chrysalis’ eyes grew wide, then a large smile grew on her face.
“Really? You’ll let me? After all I've done?”
“As long as you hold your side if the bargain. Now get to it.”
Pinkie watched, confusion clouding her eyes, “What was that about?”
“Nothing for you to worry about, Pinkamena.” Luna beckoned them both towards the door, “Now, get Sparkle after you, then lead her up here and hide. Leave the rest to me.”
They both nodded their confirmation and trotted away, leaving her alone.
“I hope this works…Else that moon better be ready to take three of us…”
-
“There she is!”
“Sweet Hivemother, I can feel the love from here.” Chrysalis cooed.
The Queen and the baker sat in a bush, carefully selected to offer a good view of the gardens, and be guaranteed ant-free. Their target lay in the shade of a tree a few metres away.
“Go on then, before she moves.” Pinkie shoved her out of their cover into the open.
She recovered and wandered slowly towards the unaware young princess. As she passed a one of the large statues that lay across the grass, she transformed herself. The lowly guard became the ruler of Equestria in all her radiant glory, minus her usual gold trappings.
With only a hopeful glance back at where her accomplice lay hidden, Chrysalis-come-Celestia stepped out and strode towards Twilight. Thankfully she hadn't been paying attention and wouldn’t notice the monarch appearing from nowhere.
“Oh, hello there Princess.” A slight blush appeared. Chrysalis could feel the love coming off of her like smoke from a flame.
“Please,” She walked up close and lowered her head, “Just call me Celestia today…Uh, Little One.”
“Pri- Celestia, um…” The purple alicorn looked down and chewed her lip, “I think-
She was silenced by a white hoof.
“As you know, Twilight, it’s Hearts and Hooves day today and Cadence will be here in a little while to start things off. It’s going to be a busy day for all of us, we have our duties, after all.”
Twilight’s face slowly fell and she felt the radiating emotions cool, “I- I guess…”
“So,” She continued, “I was going to ask you to be my Special Somepony, but, you know, if you think you’ll be too busy or something…”
“I’m sorry?”
“Simple question.” Chrysalis leaned forward and pecked on the lips, “Yes or no?”
The speed at which Twilight responded would have shamed the most elite of the Wonderbolts.
“Yes! A thousand times, yes!” She threw her forelegs around Chrysalis and nuzzled into her neck.
“What say you we go somewhere a little more, ahem, private?” She said warmly, drawing a deeper blush out of the alicorn.
Twilight murmured her agreement, and was then dropped to the grass in a flash of light, her Celestia standing a short distance away, wearing a sly grin,
“Come get me then.”
Chrysalis took off at a gentle trot, picking up her speed as she heard hoofsteps behind her drawing near. Thankful for her hour spent body-conditioning after her defeat, she galloped on. Through the Castle doors she led, into the foyer, up the stairs, along a corridor, up some more stairs, the warmth she could sense from Twilight always growing gradually hotter.
She could hear voices- Luna, and somepony else. She was close.
“I couldn't get up, I just felt so tired…”
“I’m sure it was nothing, ‘Tia. I raised the sun for you, so worry not.”
She made it into the hallway Luna had told her to get to and she rounded the corner just far enough ahead that she could blink-out without being seen. By Twilight, anyway.
“What was that!?” The real Celestia jumped back and spun to Luna, “Did you see that? Was that…” A look of hatred appeared in her eyes, “Chrysalis.” She growled.
“I’m sure it was nothing. Just your eyes playing tricks, no doubt, from that tiredness.” Luna stood there, her teeth clenched tightly as she witnessed what could end her plan disastrously. She could feel the Solar Princesses’ roving glare sweeping the hall, seeking out the Changeling.
Celestia zeroed-in on a corner, as if she could sense her foe. Her horn began to glow and she reared, ready to cast her spell.
And then a speeding purple projectile launched itself into her, catching her around the middle and throwing her backwards. Her magic dissipated instantly as she lost focus.
“Got you, Celestia.” Twilight sat upon her mentor’s chest with a large smile, like a proud kitten with its first catch.
Any traces of anger were gone, replaced with a mix of confusion, surprise, and love, “Twi- Twilight, what-“ She was cut off by the younger pony’s kiss. She was practically shining with joy.
Within the minute, the newly-made couple had trotted off to their own quarters, leaving Luna, Chrysalis, and an out-of-breath Pinkie behind.
“Success?” Asked Luna.
Chrysalis dropped her invisibility, “Success.” She agreed, leaving Pinkie to simply give a nod as she panted.
“Thank you, dearly. Both of you. Chrysalis, you may be off when you wish, just don’t cause any problems, please.”
The Queen nodded her thanks and cast her guard disguise over herself, “May I stay here tonight and then travel in the morning?”
“Of course, use my Guest Room. Be careful around Canterlot though, keep your camouflage tight.”
“I will, thank you.” With that, she trotted towards the stairs and was gone.
“She wasn't so bad.” Pinkie mused, having recovered herself, before suddenly leaping up, “I have to get back to Ponyville now! I was supposed to be holding the store while the Cakes went out today! And it’s their busiest day of the year!”
“Calm, Pinkie, the ponies are barely awake yet. We can teleport there instantly.”
“Hey, Luna, you…Didn't use my full name.”
Luna responded with a smile, “Are We not allowed to let down Our mane among friends?” Then they vanished in a flash of blue light.
-
Many hours later, after night had fallen, Luna sat on her balcony watching the stars appear one by one. Everything had worked out perfectly- Celestia and Twilight had finally gotten past that barrier, Chrysalis hadn't started any major panics she’d heard of, and Pinkie had made it back with plenty of time to spare, and the appearance of a princess has made the place even more of a hot destination for the ponies.
She was pleased, very much so.
“Maybe I’ll look for somepony myself sometime…’Tia looked so happy at last…”
Something dashed by overhead, the air movement flicking her mane aside, followed by a loud crash behind her.
Where once a desk had stood, now lay a pile of wood, paper, ink, and Changeling Queen.
“Chrysalis! What is this!?”
“Mrrr, them don’t…”
“What are you even trying to say? Are you-“
Chrysalis started snoring loudly, her face resting in a puddle of ink, splinters littering her mane.
Luna sighed and turned back to her stargazing.
The night was almost silent, apart from the obnoxiously loud snoring behind her.
-
“Good morning, Chrysalis, sleep well?” Luna chirped as sunlight flooded the room.
The Changeling queen grunted. Her head felt like she’d flown into a brick wall, and her wings bought her a whole new dimension of pain. The Princess’ words vibrated in her mind, far too loudly to be comfortable, “Shhhh…Oh, my head.” She groaned.
“Are you…Hungover?” Luna snorted.
“But I didn’t drink anything yesterday…” She cradled her head between her ink-soaked hooves.
“You are a Changeling. That was Hearts and Hooves day. This is too good.” The Princess giggled.
“What are you getting at?”
“I think that you, and you deserve a medal for this, managed to get drunk off raw love.” She didn't even try to be reserved or sensitive to the hurting Changeling, she just laughed.
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So, this is a Twilestia or a SaL(i/e)stia?
5713760 I'm sorry, what does 'SaL(i/e)stia?' mean?
It was written as Twilestia, but with a focus on getting them together rather than them being together, if that makes sense.
Nice story you have here! Actually far better than I expected it to be. When I see a story of this length that uses all five character tags, I have to admit, I'm always skeptical; rarely is a short story able to feature five (sometimes more) characters and still be written well. You managed to do that quite well in this story, though I'm not sure if the Pinkie tag is warranted here.
It is, as you warned, littered with various grammatical errors here and there, but most errors are minor. It's nothing a good fine-toothed comb won't fix. They're peppered here and there throughout the story, though I'm not sure I could point out enough of them to be useful to you. I have tried writing stories on phones before, and the results are awful. Maybe I'm just horseapples at texting; I have trouble typing something on a phone that's even halfway coherent!
The story itself is remarkably tight and well-wrought, and the plot is nice. I enjoyed reading it for the most part, save one particular passage:
Y'know, I was expecting a much more blow-up-in-your-face type of climactic interaction between Twilight and Chrysalis, but instead, I'm left with a measly handful of lines that combine to form something of an anti-climax. I know that this can contribute to the humor, but considering how much you build up to this moment, it's just a little disappointing.
Last thing: This story is quite concise, remarkably so, and that's a good thing. It means you're not wasting your readers' time on excessive description or irrelevant side plots. But there is something to be said about too little description, and I feel like this story suffers a bit from it. Dialogue can advance a story, but so can description. Consider how many one-line paragraphs you have that are nothing more than a line of dialogue. This, in of itself, isn't a bad thing, but it can be a hint that you're lending too much weight to dialogue. I, for one, was aching for more description and less talking in this story.
Well, that's what I've got! I quite enjoyed the story, so don't let my criticisms take you too far down. Good luck in the contest!
5713810 Twilight x Celesta & Twilight x Chrysalis
i have only one issue with this and that is that omnipotent implies omniscient as well, which would mean celestia either cant be omnipotent or can not actually have this issue... but that is me being ridiculously nit-picky, and the story itself was fantastic so, have a favorite, as well as a like and a
, they were well earned
The story felt as though it had no depth even though it could have had some as some things about the Changeling Queen was mentioned...and never brought up again and also didn't affect the story one bit. The Changeling Queen could have been literally anypony else with magic powers since they would have had to hide anyway. Also you put two adverbs next to each other. That looked terrible. I would just say to never do that again.
5713825
Firstly, I thank you for taking the time to write that page!
Now, the various grammatical and such mistakes I intend to sort as soon as I can't remember the entire story off the top of my head. That way it'll look fresh, and mistakes will stand out more. I should probably use a more powerful mobile word-processor, then it'd flag it up for me.
Ah, the climax. I'd run dry on time, having to write the last thousand or so words in no time at all so I could submit before the deadline. I agree that it felt...Well...Empty. I could have been better, and I'll make that a point to work on a lot in the future. I don't even know what I was trying to go for there- guess I should plan a bit more next time. It was meant to feel a little awkward to somewhat reflect Chrysalis' position, but I'm basically bad at making things work satisfyingly in those central parts without a wall of speech.
And then dialogue. I have a problem with that. Always have, no matter the context. Once it starts, I feel the need to explain more through it. This, believe it or not, was not supposed to be a speech-heavy story. I do tend to wander in my writing though, so I shall keep a stern eye on that from now on.
All in all, I'm glad you enjoyed it
And don't worry none about the criticisms- They're only useful!
5714894
?! 
I'm honored, truly.
Kinda have it in my head that being all-powerful doesn't make you all-knowing. Guess it's just more fun to see those that can shape the world with a mere thought going through the same things everyone else has to. Oh, and a
5716048
I agree it missed out entirely on a lot of depth, mainly due to my poor time-management and the fact I just didn't have the ideas. Using Chrysalis was just done on a whim as I felt like using a lesser-explored character and I like her. If I'd taken a bit more time to finish, there would have been a few changes, though I don't think they could fix it properly. During the writing of the story, I wasn't too sure about a lot of things, so I just went with them. Lessons to be learned there, methinks. About the double adverbs, whereabouts was that? I'll be cleaning it all up a little soon.
5714640
Ah, right, thanks:P Yeah, Twilestia.
5722266 fair enough, and i do agree that i prefer them like that, even in religions, i truthfully prefer the old multi-deity religions over the 1 omnipotent god of the Abrahamic religions (ie, Christian, Jewish, Muslim)
5722266
I almost can't fathom why this got 39 likes. It's not like you got 1000 followers. You got 11.
5722292
Yup, gotta love some Godly turmoil, especially the more comedic parts:)
5723281
You're entirely right and I'm not sure what I was thinking when I wrote that. I've removed the 'strangely' so it sounds bit more natural. Well, I'm not complaining 'bout the likes! I'll let people do what they want.
Heheh, nice, a very cute and funny little fic, lovely addition to our contest to be sure.
A couple things before I get to the meat of my review:
imoviequotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/102-Horrible-Bosses-quotes.gif
Oh dear... so it's like...
images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/28900000/Nala-pins-Simba-the-lion-king-28921682-585-324.png
AHHHHHHHHHHH, TOO CUTE, WHY YOU MAKE SUCH A CUTE IMAGE IN MY HEAD?!?!?!?!?
Overall, like I said, I enjoyed this. I'm NOT a fan of Chrysalis being portrayed as coexisting with the ponies since she's such a malicious character, BUT I gave that a pass here largely for the same reason I give it a pass with FlufflePuff, that being, this was light fluff. It was sweet, cute, funny, not an overly serious fic, so Chrsyalis's presence wasn't terribly distracting, plus at least you wrote her somewhat realistically in the sense that she was blackmailed into helping by Luna, not actually wanting to help in the first place. I liked that. Pinkie's presence was random, but she was written well, and I would've liked to see more of Twilight and Celestia (even though I'm not a huge fan of that ship), but for what it is, this is a lovely fic, and thank you for taking the time to write it for our contest shardikku.
Snrk, good job, Chryssie!