Luna has Loved Twilight since that first nightmare night, even if the feeling wasn't mutual.
She decides to visit Twilight and reveal her true feelings towards the younger Alicorn.
Who could stop the true feelings of love?
Luna x Twilight
Credit to Midnight the Umbreon for the image
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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It's not bad... but:
1: It's very rushed. There isn't a paragraph between "is she in love with me?" and "she is!"
2: Why Luna need the autorisation of Celestia? The night is Her domain, not celestia's.
3: To short.
But a good try, keep going!
5175802
Thanks for the feedback
Sorry I'm not good at ending stories, or writing them lol
5175802 Agreed with all points. Good story tough. Don't give up! Practice makes almost perfect! And I say "almost" because, since we are humans, and humans are imperfect, then we can't make perfect things. At least, I don't think so.
This is a cute little story I love it great job
5175856
Haha yea good points
I'll try harder for next time!! Thanks for the insight
a small cute twiluna fic I can see it was a bit rushed thought maybe get a pre reader
5176035
haha yea probably should, but rushing the ending is something that i always do somehow lol
5175887 No problem, pal!
It's a cute story but like Jackue said, there are several issues that should be addressed.
So there seem to be some continuity issues that need to be fixed.
Why does Luna need to be back to raise the moon as the stars are already out and the beginning of the story mentions moonlight? Do you mean lower the moon in the morning?
You need to explain why Luna being in Ponyville would end badly and why she needs a disguise because, while yes, her first Nightmare Night started poorly we don't know when this story is taking place so as long as she's not making a scene like she did at Nightmare Night it will probably be fine.
Oh and just a side note, you don't need to have both "That could end badly and have mixed results" You could just say that it could end badly or that this may have mixed results but there isn't a reason to use both in the same sentence.
Keep on writing, it's not a bad start and I'm sure you will get better at pacing, it takes time.
Dawww
So sweet
To add on to the other tips, be careful with capitilising words
only names and places need to be capitilised unless they're important. Also 'Ponyville' is spelled like I spelled it just then. It's a cute story though, I liked it 
5179928
Yea thanks, Yea I know I've got some caps issues (habit from writing irl lol)
And I spelt Ponyville with a capital 'V' a couple times and saved it to the dictionary of the computer
So... I was a bit lazy to fix it up, but I will... probably :P
In the beginning, it kept saying that Luna had to return in time to raise the moon, but its already night, so the moon should already be raised. It shoud say that Luna has to be back in time to lower the moon.
Good story, it was just that one detail that kept throwing me off on the dialogue between Tia and Luna.
This needs a sequel. It seems like you just cut the story short in the middle of what could turn out to be a very interesting night. Good story though.
Author's been MIA for seven years now, so no reason to write an essay now, I guess; but there's one thing that killed the story for me almost immediately :
Why the hay is Luna begging Tia to let her go to Ponyville? She's a Diarch of Equestria and the night is her domain. She can go stargazing whenever and wherever she pleases. She'd probably inform her personal guard, then just leave.
Also, thanks to Twilight the bearded, Ponyvillians actually like her.
Canon Luna started out with somewhat low self esteem but post Tantabus there was no trace of that left.
This Luna acts like a twelve year old with a secret crush on her cousin.
11327071
Glad I'm not the only one who thought the same.