In Water

An entry for the first monthly TwiLuna contest, with the prompt 'A Broken Crown'

After a long day's dusty work in the old castle, a trip to an old, secluded pool to wash off seems like a great idea. Only then does disaster choose to strike, spurring Luna into action to save Twilight from mortal danger, thrusting untold emotions into the daylight in a blur of fear and panic.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 13 )

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lillytheomegawolf

lillytheomegawolf #1 · Mar 17th, 2017 · 4 · ·

Cute and sweet.
I like

dragonjek

dragonjek #2 · Mar 18th, 2017 · 3 · ·

Luna doesn't seem to be aware that cold shock is more lethal than hypothermia.

Shardikku

Shardikku #3 · Mar 18th, 2017 · 1 · ·

8030217
Thank you Cutesy ponies are the best!

8030881
Well, I like to think she's from a time where toughing it out was the norm, no matter what. Also, didn't realise Cold Shock was quite as dangerous as it is:P

TheLastBrunnenG

TheLastBrunnenG #4 · Mar 23rd, 2017 · 3 · ·

Ooh, I like this! Nice touches with Luna recognizing Twilight’s crush, still stringing her along because she needs Twilight and enjoys her company, but chiding herself for using Twilight’s crush as leverage. And then realizing she really does feel the same, only when it’s almost too late… Nicely done. My only complaint? I tend to think of a “pool” as smallish, like an eddy in a creek or a water-filled depression. On first read I didn’t catch that it was over a dozen meters deep and nearly filled a clearing twice the size of the castle. That’s big lake / reservior territory! Other than that, which was mainly a description issue (and reading too quickly), it was enjoyable, and their relationship was believable. Good show!

Shardikku

Shardikku #5 · Mar 24th, 2017 · 1 · ·

8045540
Thank you very much
Ah, yes, the 'pool issue'. I admit I was loathe to call it that, because it seemed a little off to call a sizable lake a mere 'pool', but I was rather stuck on what else to call it. But I'll change that now I've been reminded of it- after all, if I've failed to be clear, then I've failed in my description.

Fuzzyfurvert