Everypony knows that Nightmare Moon was banished to the moon using the Elements of Harmony. But what nopony expected was for Princess Luna to be safe there. While the Nightmare prowled around the perimeter of her prison, Luna developed a surprising bond with a pony on Equus who has kept her company for the past twenty years. But now, the barriers holding her safe grow thinner.
Every young foal knows that the story of Nightmare Moon's banishment is just an old pony's tale to keep foals from letting envy get the better of them. But Twilight Sparkle knows better. Since she was a filly, she's had a friend who speaks to her in her dreams. When she found out that this friend was Princess Luna, trapped in her moon, she dedicated her life to trying to find a way to free her. But now that the time has come for Nightmare Moon's escape, can Twilight rescue the mare of her dreams?
AU of the first episode where Twilight was obsessed with Princess Luna instead of Celestia. My entry for Equestria Daily's Super Hearts and Hooves Day Lovefest Fanfic Event. Please let me know if there's any problems and I'll do my best to fix them. Fingers crossed the slight suggestions of gore don't disqualify me but I can remove them if it's an issue.
D'aww.
Not bad. I noticed one thing that's incorrect.
In the response to Twilight's letter, Celestia addressed her as "Princess Twilight"
I'm sure that she wasn't a princess or alicorn at that time, so she should be addressed as "My faithful student" or "Dear Twilight Sparkle"
There's also a few minor continuity errors (like Twight being in contact with Luna... from her own birth?) but they don't really affect the story in general.
Good job.
P.S. I'd be more interested in the time between when the "link" first established and this event. Luna could teach Twilight things that Celestia wouldn't or didn't know about.
P.P.S. You don't need the gore tag or the Dark tag.
5611172 I'll fix those things up now, thanks for the help
5611172 That looks like a published CIA file.
5612494
[REDACTED]
5611172
it could of been a slip of the tongue on celestias part considering nightmare moon states she is being groomed for alicornhood ,as unlikely as that is
ever heard of fate
5613391
You're talking about an alicorn with thousands of years of experience.
I'm not sure she'd make a mistake as elemental as method of address.
I think it's more a case of the author being used to thinking of her as
Princess Twilight. That's what we know her as nowadays, anyway.
That, or perhaps the story is suffering from severe overexposure, because
characters seem to know more than they should and everyone is aware
of everything else.
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Fate has nothing to do with it. While newborns don't exactly dream, they
do process information and create new neural pathways in deep REM sleep,
yet that doesn't exactly allow for "communication" as implied in the story.
It would have been better to say that they were linked since Twilight's birth
and that they just became aware of the connection sometime before Twi
became Celestia's student.
5614153
ok i miss worded it
dont state real life facts when i can null and void it with one word in the mlp universe
MAGIC!!
yes an alicorn who is running a country and worried about the impending release of nightmare moon and her sister who she hasn't seen in 1000 years who can do nothing but get twilight in the right position because she cant use the only thing capable of stopping nightmare moon herself a plan which hinges on twilight making 5 friends in 1 night and them not getting killed on the way to confront an alicorn more powerful than her along the way in the most dangerous forest in equestria.
sounds pretty stressful to me, might cause me to miss word a title in a rushed letter
also yes she may be over 1000 years old and an alicorn but she is still a pony she is fallible as she has been shown in the show (cant tell her niece from a bug, sends discord after tirek, sends twilight 2 tickets to the gala when she has 6 people who need tickets(could be trolling on that one)) yes i know these havnt happened in this universe but it is cannon so yeah celestia can fuck up just like everybody else
How is it cliche? I actively look for stories with that and have only found ten, counting this one. Granted, I don't read ship-fics often, so is it more common in these or something?
Beside that, I hate the idea of "cliche". The whole thing is basically "it's been done before, so it can't be done again differently and be good." It's a load of bull crap perpetuated by mediocre artists who hide their incompetence behind "originality" rather than becoming better at their craft. In reality most of those "cliche" works are done far better than theirs. We've bought into this lie so completely that a man once brought a urinal into an art gallery and was declared an artistic genius by critics! A real artist can take any worn out idea and make it their own, make it new and wonderful all over again. Life is cliche! So many millions of us are born, grow up, get a job, fall in love, get married, have kids, grow old, and retire. It's the same darn story told over and over again through the generations with different people and different places, yet it's priceless, it's new and beautiful every time. Life is the ultimate work of art, and the most cliche thing in existence. So who are you--you know who you are--to say that something's worth is diminished just because it's been done before?
Sorry, I got into a bit of rant back there. This is just something I'm really passionate about, and this story is proof that a cliche can be beautiful.
Why is Twilight gasping at an "As you know" sentence?
It's cute, but it's also one of those stories that feels like it should have been longer, you know?
5999790 I felt like that too when I was writing it but I wanted to get in done in time for Equestria Daily's Hearts and Hooves event. I might write a longer version of it one day
Interesting idea... if you ever want to expand this story, I think it could work well!
(And thanks for the favorite to Overshadowing the Rainbow, too!)
Neat idea. I feel as if it could have been longer though
Twiluna is best ship is also cutest ship
I feel like it's too rushed. I mean, for Luna's sake, she didn't even know what Twilight looked like! All it said was she could hear her voice. It just felt too rushed.
Just read it again.
Still very cute
Whaaaaaaaaatttt???????!!!!!!!!!
I've seen a lot of things but this is ........ Whaaaaa??!!
6001269
Try a sequel with a time skip, one with multiple chapters or with more than 5000 words, if possible