Human Pinkie Pie sneaks her way into Equestria, and when she meets the other Pinkie Pie, they go on a journey throughout Ponyville, reeking happiness, But their happiness is short lived when Twilight finds out, and has to send Pinkie Pie's counterpart back to the human world. At least she thought she sent her back.
Great start.
Love it, Keep it up.
XD
thx mon :D
good start lets see were this goes in the next chapters
5557039 this chapter isnt done yet. i was too tired last night to continue
5557065 oh i did not know that i though it was
5557149 lolz i make my chapters go from 2.5k words to 5k words.
5557162 well ether way lets just see were this story goes
5557220 oh its gonna go far. well the length of the story. im probably going to make it about 50k words
5557245 wow this is going to be a long story lets hope its good
5557264 i hope so too
I never watched equestria girls
5557417 thats sad. but this has nothing to do with those two movies, so you dont need to understand any of it really
you added your own story to... two horrible story groups....?
This isn't long enough to judge the story itself, so I'll hold off on that. But the basic mechanics of your writing (grammar, spelling, etc.) need some work. Stories should be written in the past tense, rather than present tense. And you have a few fairly blatant misspellings, run-on sentences, and the like. For instance, the second sentence in the story:
This is a pretty big run-on sentence. Also, I used red to mark all the problem-words. That sentence would work much better as follows:
Now it's not a run-on sentence, and has proper grammar and spelling. The rest of the chapter needs similar editing.
5557954 kay, thanks for the tip
I second switching this to past tense. You are consistent with the tense, which is good, but a story like this will definitely benefit from being written in past tense. For example, when I read this:
Otherwise, it feels like this:
It's a good start though. You're descriptive and good at showing Pinkie's motivation, which keeps the reader interested. Keep at it. :)
5558077 kay thanks
reek - To have or give off a strong, unpleasant smell.
wreak - To cause, inflict or let out, especially if causing harm or injury.
Words mean things.
5558542 What would be the correct word then?
5558545
I gave you the definitions (complete with links) and you still have to ask? It's not the one that means "stink".
5558552 Well I was looking for a certain word, but i wasnt sure exactly as to what it was I've been brain farting a lot okay?
great story, cant wait to see more
5560419 Thx. First chapter isn't even finished yet it's already ranked in the 54k's. I can't wait to finish this story and see how far it goes. I have a feeling that is will be my first story to make it to the feature box. That would make this story like 20% cooler
I just thought of something, what if when pinkie sees pinkie, pony pinkie thinks human pinkie is a pinkie that twilight missed when sending the mirror pool pinkies back to the mirror pool and then twilight and pinkie try to send human pinkie to the mirror pool that sentence had a lot of pinkies
5576293 idk what u said there...but human pinkie becomes pony pinkie and she and the others one pinkie do things that pinkie pie would do. And yeah, when rarity finds out, she meant to send back the human pinkie but they switch places with each other so the original pinkie pie goes to the other world leaving the human pinkie pie behind pretending to bethe other pinkie and pinkie pie's the pinkie pinkie pie as pie pinks the pinkie. Idk...
5557833 yes I did. It's a good strategy really. People who look in that group will think it's filled with crappy stories, but if they spot something with a good plot as it seems, it will stick out like a sore thumb and they will have a great urge to read and find its actually a good story.
canceled!?! please continue the story, its really good so far and the plot sounds really intresting
hey,
by all means keep it up. I'm sort of playing with an "Equestrian Girls in Ponyville" idea.
the Human versions meet their counterparts as is. this should be an amusing tale.