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Without love, changlings cannot survive. They die off, one after the other, leaving the evil queen with only one option. She writes to Princess Celestia, praying she can save them. Praying she may see her changlings live another day. Praying she won't have to see the pain on their faces. Praying...for love...
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CAN'T!
6372372 awe thanks :D did you leave a like?
Not bad I guess, But this story needs to fleshed out some more. More character development would be good. Also, what happens afterwards?
6372402
...I Literally cried at the end.
6372555 whyyyyy?
6372579
...But she doesn't blame her, a-and they (sort of) start to become friends...
Because of the part where they were too late, and the son dies
That part really wounded me. You write beautifully.
6372941 Awe thanks :D
6372941 I added a tiny bit onto the ending
6373105
Better get readin'
6374314 :p
Amazing! It made me cry.
10/10!
6374611 awe thanks
6374630 Yw
6374666 currently working on an epilogue :D
6372440 what happened after words? I'm working on it :D
Oh god... I'm crying here... Take the favourite....
6377440 awe, and thanks :D
Dat ending was just like
O SHIT
DAT PLOT TWIST DOE
M KNIGHT SHYAMALAN WOULD BE PROUD
6379314 :D
Good stuff bud. The beginning Chapter was very similar to BlabideeblahMLP fic. But on yours, It really shows that you put more time and thought into it. Not that were knocking Blabideeblah's story. Both are superb.
Also nice twist in chapter two.
6379866 thanks :D I wanted it to be bittersweet. Funeral thinking he's dead for good, but chrysalis's love for Nymphy, brought him back to life with her kiss. Love brah.
6379866 "Go away." ~Celestia
I don't read sad stories.
6381674 well, it's happy at the end :D it's nothing that will make you cry, unless you're really soft. I wrote this just to give the feeling of potty for Chrysalis, but that's it. The end is happy, though.
6381679
Uhhhhhhhhhh fine.
+1 story added to read it later
6381684 you don't have to read it if you don't want to :D
6381684 I also meant pitty not potty XD
6374751 Great! I can't wait!
6389299 the second chapter was the epilogue. :D
6389304 Awesome! 'Bout to read it now!
6389371 alright. :D
6389304 NOOO!!! It cannot end like that!!! And the feels! Omg, the feels! Just... Wow!
6389461 why can't it end like that?
6389461 is there some other way it should end or extend it a tiny bit?
6389731 I think there should be another chapter with a happy ending where Shining and cadence visits Nymphador (was that his name? Something like that.) and chrysalis every so often and they're like a big family. Also the changelings and ponies live in peace. That's my Idea anyway, you can proberly come up with a better one.
6389782 that's actually a really good idea :D
Dude............you totally had me thinking who was the father of Nyamphador! I was trying to think who it was, and when I saw the name, I was like, "Oh. My. Celestia!" And even better, I was also thinking the son would come back to life right before Chrysalis.
This was a great story! But I do believe there could be a sequel to the story.
6390326 I will be making another chapter for this, but until then...can I get a like?
6390358
That's great!
And I pressed the like button!
6390365 thanks :D
This is like Written Pleas, but lacking the excuse of the 2-hour writing period, having the same gaping plot hole, pretty much the exact same plot, no real changes to the story (only a continuation), and far worse writing.
Downvoted.
6391469 actually, this took me three and a half hours. Well, four at most. And, I don't see a plot hole in mine. Yes I can agree it wasn't written as well. And there actually was a huge change of you even read the second chapter. also, it didn't take Celestia two and a half months to say something. That's another change. Mine also explained why they weren't getting the love they need to feed off of. It even had a few plot twists in the second chapter. Although, of you have any ideas for improvment, I'll gladly take them, and maybe use them to better the story. Mainly write off of the ideas people give me.
6389791 Thanks!
Although I don't think it's that good.
6397618 it's alright :D
6391469 I think that was the entire point: A take on a story to see if it could help with his writer's bock in any way.
6406733 pretty much.
That... I tip my hat at you. I agree, this version is better than the original. I don't mind sad stories, but I much prefer a happier ending. And this ending, it was just what I was hoping for while reading this.
I don't see a plot hole anywhere. Celestia took much fewer letters to come this time around, just enough to get past her justified doubts about Chrysalis being honest. She acted in character in my honest opinion.
I openly admit, I started crying once her son died and kept crying until the end of the funeral. But the ending was worth it. Short, but dispelling my gloom in an instant. This so needs a sequel.
I picked up some typos, would it be okay if I proofread it and send you the corrected version via pm?
Again, I loved it. Call me a sentimental fool, but that ending made me feel really warm.
Cya
Raziel-chan
That was Beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes... And that's saying alot. This is the second sad story to bring me close to crying. I love it, and would like to see a sequel. 6440650 I agree.
6440950 awe thanks, and yes that would be nice for you to do that :D sorry for making you cry
6457449 it's hard to make me cry. Unless it's me coming up with a sad story, where I imagine myself as the character who is being inflicted with said sadness, then I shed a tear or two :p
6457635 Lol, I've only cried to "The Final Dreams of a Fill, " and this one.
Also, favorited.