Bring the Beat
Canterlot city buzzed and thrived to the beat of thousands of hooffalls over head. Hundreds upon hundreds of well dressed ponies darted and trotted above us, never once stopping to think of the world just beneath their hooves.
The real world.
My world.
See most ponies think it's all parties and music- the D.J. business. You play some filthy songs, the crowd dances, you get booked, wash, rinse, repeat. But it isn't all that simple. There's a trick to it, you know? A game you have to know how to play it if you want to stay on top. The ugly truth of the matter is that if you want to rise on the charts, you have to climb over everypony else. Me? I'm a D.J. My name is Mixtape. I'm a bit on the small side for a unicorn, bright red and black mane, bright white coat, and more attitude than the Wonderbolts after a bender. My manager, Red Velvet, gave me a little club to over look while she does business in Ponyland. A dirty little fixer upper called "The Basement." It's wonderful. Its filled to the brim every night with colts and fillies, rebelling against mommy and daddy. Oh yeah, here in Canterlot? Swanky place like this? They hate me here. If they had to describe me in one word, it would be 'obnoxious' and my music sounds like two fax machines doing the nasty. I'm not the sort of riff raff that belongs in their stuffy little perfectly manicured village. I'm a nasty unicorn, that has nasty habits, and I pick fights, I drink too much, and spit the kind of filth that would make a sailor blush.
All in all, my albums sell like crazy.
See, I piss off parents and that makes me a star. The colts eat it up. The fillies want to be like me. Really simple, says Red; The more the parents don't want them to listen to me- the more they're gonna do it. I'm the worst kind of popular- I'm notorious.
Red says it's good for business. Play up the bad girl image, you know; the rebel without a cause? I'm the unicorn that makes the other unicorns look bad. Class is just a word with two extra letters to describe me, and my spiked dog collar, crimson mane and wild attitude make me the perfect fit for this town's precious, pristine youngsters. And night after night after night- they fill The Basement, and as much as I hate this town- I love it down there. This place? This is my world
See, to me, when we're in the Basement? There are no Pegasi, Unicorns, or Earth Ponies. Everypony and anypony; when they step through those doors, all of them blur into one. The geeks, the freaks, the scientists and socialites. The doctors and dentists, and the shakers and the takers! All of them are forced into silence by the music, and the only language left is motion. This world; where the sky is orange, until its pushed to purple and bled to blue and rushed to red, and back again. Our currency are tiny tablets of sensation, and one mixed drink can buy a life time of experiences. This world is our world, this realm of endless thunder; where we pray long and hard to over worked stereo equipment, and seek solace in sound.
This world.
Our world.
My world.
And no barrier of bed, or call of daybreak could ever rob us from this place! I and my army of insatiable insomniacs waged war upon the day; twisting about in a twisted tango, of damnable debauchery. We will not let the night burn away to 'sisters' bright and sunny day! NO! This is our place, our world, where the pain doesn't matter and the tears are drowned in darkness and sin. There is nothing but the moment, and yesterday is a fleeting figment of a fading dream.
Luna, it was beautiful!
There upon my electric throne I sit, gazing over my subjects, and throwing my hooves into the air to score an approving mimicry of those beneath me. I was their queen and they my subjects; my saviors of sound, my connoisseurs of cacophony in this kingdom where there was no sound sweeter than the sound of life, and I was the bringer of the beats!!
Me.
Their ruler.
Their queen.
Their Goddess!
DJ Mixtape.
Until she happened.
Oy yeah. You know her. Everypony knows her. Bright white coat. Spikey blue and navy mane. Those signature sunglasses hiding ruby colored eyes. Waltzing in, all nonchalant, with her pretty little grey earth pony pet. She sickens me. Of all the places, of all the times, of all the clubs in Equestria-
She had to walk into mine. Vinyl Scratch. No. No it's cool. It's fine. Everything will be fine. Pretend you don't see them, don't say a word, just keep playing normally. No big deal, don't raise a fuss. She probably just wants to party, like everypony else here. After all, Everypony, and anypony is nopony at all down here. It's fine. We're all fine.
Of course, Vinyl Scratch doesn't just 'walk' into a club. No. It's not even an event. When she comes in, she's a whole damned PROCEDURE. Ponies surrounded her, dancing around, bouncing, cackling and cheering. What a loser. There was a bottle of water under my deck, and next to that? A bottle of 'cider'. I was gonna celebrate after I finished my set and dropped the house on top of itself, but now... well now just a single shot wouldn't hurt, right? No, just for nerves. Need something to help me relax. Everything was fine until SHE showed up! Everything was just fine!
I swallow it before I even realize the bottle is against my lips. I hate her, being in my club. Being here, talking, chatting, laughing. Are they pointing at me? No. Don't pay any attention. Just play your music. End your set. Drop some brutal beats and let the world know who's the best of the best.
Another shot.
Don't look at them. Don't even acknowledge them. Thats right. Little miss Vinyl isn't even worth your time. She's not worth my time. Not now, not while I'm up here, not while I'm in control, not while it's my club.
Another shot.
Just breathe. It's ok. Finish your set. It's ok. Last song. What are they doing? What's going on? Why are they circling her? Why is the crowd forming a ring around Vinyl Scratch? I can't hear what they're saying, not up on the stage, where the world is a hurricane of sound. But they're pointing at her. They're chanting. I can tell because of the way the hooves stomp against the floor.
Another shot.
Are they looking at me? The crowd is looking at me. Vinyl is coming this way? This is impossible. Whats happening?! She's coming up with her beautiful blue spikey mane. Slender white hips. Glittering ruby eyes. Shes standing next to me. I give her a pissed off, puzzled look. She leans in, her lips brushing against my ears. She practically has to scream to make her voice a whisper. I shudder.
"They want us to have a battle."
Another shot. ...a doubl- triple. Good and buzzed, now. I glare at her.
I have to admit, Vinyl Scratch makes me nervous. Doubly so, now that she's on my stage in my club, during my set. Don't let the attitude and the care free life style fool you. Vinyl is mean. She knows the rules of the game, and like I said- there aren't enough gigs to go around. The only way to get to the top of the charts is by climbing over the bodies of other ponies. Vinyl is on top for a reason, and I'm sick of the view in second place. If I lose a battle in my own club, my reputation will be shot. Ripped to shreds and I become a sadistic statistic to her- another body she's climbed over.
But I made it up here too, and now we're fighting for space. My electronic trance inspired dance rocks the grunge off the house. It's a parade of dark step, and hard step, dub step and drum step. A standing stampede of life, roaring in front of me like waves in the ocean. They want Scratch and I to have a battle? That's just fine with me. See, Scratch and me? We've got a history. Last year in Los Pegasus, she won the championship at the DJ tournament they had going. Me? After Neon Lights, and Treblestep, I scored third place. Year before that, I scored second, and year before that, second again. Always right behind that bouncy black double clef. I hate it. Media makes us out to be rivals, and I'm ok with that. Since I kind of hate her. A lot. The crowds love all her music but I'm the better DJ. I know I'm the better DJ. Vinyl is just a poser. For her it's all about the money, and not the music. She's a sell out, but shes got that stage presence you know? When she gets on stage, she just shines. I mean, I've got that bad girl personality and the media eats it up but that's also my downfall. Vinyl knows I can't back down from a challenge. Not the punk girl with nothing to lose and something to prove. She's got me cornered -forcing my hoof. She knows exactly what she's doing and she's loving every second of it. Crush me in my own club, drive her sales through the roof and mine into the dirt. Clever girl. But she made a fatal flaw in coming to this club. Because this club?
This is my club.
This is my life.
This is my world.
Here, I am a goddess and the party doesn't stop until I say it does.
So let Vinyl try to stop me.
So let Vinyl hope, to stop me.
So let Vinyl bring the beat.
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That was very well done, for a short story. It could use a bit of grammar fixing, but that's literally all I can say about it that's bad.
Can't wait for whatever comes next.
~TOOWC
As they say, everyone's the hero of their own story. Every man, woman and dog you meet in the street or at work or in the checkout lane lives a life that's full and complete in its own way and you'll never take part in more than the slightest fraction of it beyond those brief encounters where they are a side character in your story - and you, one in theirs.
So yes, the story of a character who's only a brief presence in Vinyl's own story (herself ironically a side character with only brief appearances in another story) can be really fascinating and intriguing.
5504565
You know how much I look forward to, and treasure your comments on my stories? Thank you, Moonie. <3
Does this story not have a genre tag???
5504706 That was strange. Should have had "Slice of life." on it.
Corrected!
I thought this was pure amazing. I look forward to more of your stories!
I love it! This was my favorite of your works of fiction, rivaled only by some of a certain character's diary entries. It was burning and intense and exciting, and above that it was immersive. What is it like to live a pivotal moment in the life of someone very different? I recently finished playing Shadowrun: Dragonfall, which was a new experience for me that I loved--the kind of realistic but fantastical intensity and immersion I liked in that game is the same feeling I got from this short piece. Way to go!
I hope you don't mind me throwing my two cents out there. Let me start with the good bit: This reads like the manifesto of a madmare. It's visceral. It speaks volumes of narcissism, a lack of empathy, inflated ego and the kind of sick obsession that you wouldn't even notice if you met this pony because it's so alien in its motivations and intensity.
It reminds me of a genuinely sick mind. I hope that was what you were going for, because now for the bad bit: It reads like the manifesto of a madmare. I can't relate to this person. Someone is waxing poetic to me about just how bitter and jaded she is, and I don't know this person. I've never been given a chance to get to know her. It's hard to empathize with her rants, especially when they completely lack subtlety.
Here's an example:
Mixtape just seems like she's trying too hard to seem broody, like she wants me to know how hardcore she is. It seems that she is just kinda playing one note. She doesn't seem to have any depth. It's just angry/bitter/angsty and that's pretty much it. Her feelings don't seem to be a reaction to anything happening to her. Her feelings just seem to BE her. There's nothing meaty there for me to think about.
It gets revealed at the end that a major source of her animosity is that she lost a DJ tournament to Vinyl. When I read that, I thought, "Hey, that'd be something I'd like to see!" It seems like it would be more interesting to see a genuine conflict between the characters, rather than this imagined conflict where Mixtape is just angry and insecure that Vinyl is near her fans.
It just seems like this is a really odd event to focus on. You have Mixtape's entire life to choose from. You could pick any moment, any event that ever happens to her, and you chose 'That time Vinyl walked into her show, danced with her fans, and she drank too much while performing but nothing bad happened as a result.'
I really like your general premise, though. I love your idea of 'Let's tell the story from the perspective of someone bad, and show how tough it is on them when good ponies come around. Maybe try to drum up sympathy for the bad character.' Breaking Bad basically did that. 'The antagonist is the protagonist' type thing. Antihero, basically. I think you just need to make her a little more relatable, and less like a caricature of a bad pony.
I hope I didn't come off as too negative!
5543287 You win 100000 good comment points with that.
My response:
I wrote it with some poetry in mind, so it does probably lack a lot of context. This being our first introduction to "Mixtape" We have very little to know about her, other than she is, indeed a narcissistic asshole. As a one shot, I really should have, could have done better. I Should have added in her massive crush on Vinyl Scratch, and her absolute jealousy/hatred of Vinyl's 'Earth Pony Pet.' Mixtape doesn't look at the world as happy and carefree, she focuses on negative things that happened to her- the most recent negative thing that happened involving the person I'm looking at. For Vinyl Scratch, it was the last competition.
She's putting on a 'show' but I would like to mention that I did point out she IS wearing a mask. She's playing up her bad girl persona for the crowd. Rebel without a cause, and she hates everybody. She IS trying hard to be broody and hard core and bad assed. I could have done much better on that though, explaining how she's reacting, and why she's doing the things she's doing, and adding in a part where she's really IS just wearing a mask. Her feelings are a direct reaction to Vinyl's appearance, and yes, I could have added more depth. The original story, has Mixtape waking up with a picture in the paper. She apparently attacks Vinyl Scratch on stage after getting to drunk, and Octavia shows to to put Mixtape in her place. But I didn't like where it was going, or how it was written, so I scrapped all of it, and just made it this one shot of some purple pose.
5545348
Oh good. I'm glad you didn't think I was being harsh. I can get a bit negative sometimes.
All these details about Mixtape sound really interesting and cool. I look forward to reading it if you make it all into a story or two.
But, (Why is there always a but! I'm trying to be positive! Grr!) I would suggest putting your best hoof forward when you write it. It's a real pain trying to capture interest especially on a fanfiction site, so it may help to rearrange things so that the most engaging stuff is up front. Maybe make the reader think and—I'm a hypocrite for saying this but—I think it's best to start with setting and dialog, rather than internal monologues or exposition dumps like this, because that feels more like you're 'meeting' the characters, or you're 'experiencing' the conundrums and conflicts they find themselves in. "Setting and dialog and relateability can give you a feeling of presence and participation," is what I'm trying to say.
I read another story of yours, where Twilight is trying to coax a certain 'reaction' out of Trixie. "What's the score," she asks. There's some mystery right there. I took the bait. Then I got to see motivations. I got to see all these little quirks of dialog and smirk while the characters teased one another—verbally and otherwise!—and it just felt more like I was there. I wanted to see what was said next, and what was done next.
All the deep and poetic stuff can come later after we're invested in finding out what makes the characters tick. If, following all that sticky coitus, there was a monologue about all the inner and outer motivations that led them to that situation, I would feel a lot more apt to read it carefully and with great interest than I did with this story, where it was all put on me up front.
As with all my advice, bear in mind that I'm a terrible writer so make sure you don't do anything silly like take my advice without thinking about it!
Which story would this fit in with? I'd be interested to see the other P.O.V.. Mixtape doesn't come off as evil here--cynical and loving the dirty parts of life, yeah, but not as anything more than a dramatic "bad girl".
I'd be interested in seeing what your Vinyl is really like, if Mixtape's so wrong about her.
Okay, I love this character. You, in a little more then a thousand words, defined an entire pony and who they were. Well... the basics. But still, I have every part of her. There needs to be more of her... WRITE MORE.
~ Neon Lights
P.S. Can I use her for a story? I'm planning a "Battle of the DJ's" chapter and I need more characters and, well, I love her!
5836471 Of course you can! Of course, Of course! I should like to write stories with Neon in thanks, of course. <3
5837647 Yays! Wanna collab the chapter? I figure, since you know the character best, it would work out, well, better!
~ Neon Lights
I said I'd stop littering your last comment section but said nothing about this one.
This is an interesting view of Mixtape, now that she's in a more sober(ish) state. Verdict's in, she's not a very pleasant pony.
But that's okay! I didn't want pleasant, I wanted raw emotion and thunder, and I got plenty of that. The story in and of itself feels unfulfilled, in that it's more of a snippet of the life and thoughts of this character than a full act and resolution, but the imagery and thoughts, the bits of history that are hinted at? They make up for it. The concept of Mixtape in and of itself is enjoyable to me, especially as someone who's always regarded Vinyl their favourite character.
Now, don't get me wrong, Mixtape's thoughts clearly come from a flawed mind. There's a lot of jealousy in there, failure to convince herself that she's in control, blame hoisting, etc. It's rather interesting to watch, but it carries its own charm nonetheless. This is a character I want to see duke it out with Vinyl, just so she can be thrashed to the curb, be forced to either acknowledge her own inferiority or chicken out, do the latter, then find an underhanded way to ruin Vinyl's career.
THEN maybe the guilt would hit. Or maybe it wouldn't. If we were to look at the most recent story, I'd assume it would. Mixtape feels like a very mixed up character, and the theme of possession prevalent in this story seems so heavily juxtaposed to that lack of control we find in Molly that I feel it helps to establish a very strong character profile—one that leaves me wanting to know and see more.
But the truth is, Mixtape isn't necessarily an 'evil' Vinyl Scratch or whatever you posited in your author's notes. She's boasty. She's arrogant, jealous, insecure, and a whole slew of other things, but she's also a competitive artist in a saturated market trying to make a living however she can. If that involves knocking others down a peg, so be it. That's industry.
The writing in this isn't bad. I can definitely see a huge improvement in Molly, but I'd say this was worth reading either way, just to get to know Mixtape a little better.
9534974
Written before I had any idea what I was doing or even a basic concept of how to craft a legible story. Good lord, in re-reading this I beat grammar to death. It's been quite some time since I wrote about Mixie, and I suppose Molly was an attempt to give the character a little attention. Thank you so very much for the read!
9534979
I wasn't going to point out the prose/grammar issues as I've seen from the most recent story a lot of it's improved drastically. No need to worry about that! Essence of the story was still a good one. Anddd no problem!
If you ever wanna recommend me something else to read in future, or chat, or whatever, drop me a line.