meerkat8472
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Aww this was cute. Heck id even say intimate. All the heart of a romance but not corny like certain clop-ficks. I think you nailed Rainbow's personality to a tee. And it was nice thinking she could be bi (even if she's happier with females
)
And Twilight was her same cute, overanalytical self
There wasn't a single cringe worthy moment in this fix! Not to erotic, but not to emotional. You kept the focus right where it should be. I felt like I was reading an actual event, no pointless drama, just people maturely coming to a conclusion.
Plus I ship the heck out of these two!
Oh my gosh. This was beautiful. Thanks for sharing. So many feels.
Cool concept, but in need of proofreading.
5205420 Thank you so mush!
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was going for something emotional yes, but I had planned on putting sex in later chapters.
5205500 Thanks, glad you liked it.
5205548 I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it, I knew when I posted this that it wasn't for everyone, I was expecting some downvotes. So, that okay, thanks for taking the time to read it.
5206022 I know it could use some proofreading, I spent ages going through it to fix mistakes but I undoubtably missed some. Thanks for your comment and for reading this.
When is the next chapter going to be out?
5207603 Well, I really have no idea. I haven't even started it yet, though I have a lot of planned out in my head. I'd say give it a week.
"Share" shouldn't be capitalized in your short description.
I like this so far. Twilight's character is portrayed well, but Rainbow's isn't. She's too understanding for only three months into the relationship, especially if they're only meeting on Saturdays + plus an extra day or two throughout the week. You've got Twilight spot on though, so that's why I'd like to see where this goes.
+1'd.
5209192 Thank you, corrected.
5209228 Yes, I'm aware Rainbow's character isn't quite right, that's actually deliberate. I wanted to whow how being with Twilight has mellowed her out a bit, and made her consider things more. Also, she has very much fallen for Twilight, yeah it's only been three months but she cares VERY deeply for Twilight. That's what I was going for, I may have overdone it.
5211656
Three months into their romantic relationship. Not sure how long they knew each other before that.
5212033 That is true. In this particular story I had thought of them havin g known each other for about a year total, maybe a touch longer.
I properly hope you continue this, it's gorgeous
5221985 Thank you!
I have made a start on the chapter and I know the basic events I want to happen in it. I hope to be done in a few days.
Not a problem
I'm usually a flutterdash kind of guy but every now and then I hanker for a bit of twidash. This was well written, adorable and super cute.
I patiently wait for more
the one question that keeps bugging me is can Rainbow and Twilight have foals.
Okay, I'm finding this story ADORABLE
5270157 I'm afraid not. Obviously Rainbow can get pregnant, but Twilight literally has no sperm to give. I'm sure something could be done with artificial fertilization, but Equestria isn't that advanced.
5270221 Thank you very much, I'm glad you're enjoying it.
5271231 I look forward to more
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120508045038/mlp/images/f/f1/FANMADE_GoOn....gif
5271231
Your world, obviously, but I'd think they could arrange it magically. But that's me. ^^
And actually, you'd be dismayed how little research on female sexuality has actually happened....
5271231
Your world, obviously, but I'd think they could arrange it magically. But that's me. ^^
And actually, you'd be dismayed how little research on female sexuality has actually happened....
5271231 that is kind of sad for Twilight.
5272226 Yes, I considered magic as a possibility. However a newly created fetus is one cell, we're talking miniscule here. It might be hard to manipulate that with magic. Also, a world where magic can achieve anything would be dull, it has to have limits and this is where I'm limiting my world.
I'm sure that whatever studies have been on female biology would have covered the composition of vaginal fluid. However, I'm sure Twilight would volunteer to re-check those results. After all, science is repeatable.
5272370 Yes it is sad for Twilight, that's part of her struggle. I think Rainbow will help her come to terms with that later on.
5272529
Oh, certainly, and that actually *is* one of the fields... just surprisingly recent research. Anywho!
I loved it! I'm happy that Twi was ready to tell her secret to the friends she knows cares about her no matter what.
Yes...
More of this story pleases the council of shadowy figures...
Thou shalt never waver in thy strength
Thou shall always grow in volume
The Tritone Paradox of thy Shepard's Tone
5333105
Also, your profile pic is fucking perfect for that comment
5333105 Thank you!
5333167 Oh, I seem to have gotten the attention of the council of shadowy figures. I don't know if that's a good thing... Well, I'm glad you're enjoying the story at any rate.
I'm with Pinkie on this
Woot Woot!that was great
5334070
5334144
Thank you!
5272529
Two things. First, a single cell is technically still a zygote. It's not a fetus until it reaches a certain level of complexity in development
Second, Rainbow Dash either has a shallow vagina or Twilight has freakishly long fingers. The average vagina is between four and eight inches deep at full physical maturity, and varies in elasticity with state of arousal. The average adult finger is approximately three to four inches long at most. To give a bit more perspective on this disparity, patients have lost batteries and entire flashlights in that cavity without being able to reach them for extraction without medical assistance. The idea that Twilight was touching Rainbow's cervix seems a little...far-fetched without her entire hand going in. The hymen (maidenhead, proof of virginity) would be more believeable if Rainbow is a virgin to penetrative intercourse and has been careful not to push toys too far when masturbating.
Of course, the hymen is a delicate little membrane and can be torn by activities other than sex if certain motions are involved.
Another plausible alternative would be that Twilight found the 'mysterious g-spot' bundle of nerves. Cervical palpation just seems...wrong.
Tone seems okay so far, and you seem to have done your research on the physical side effects on male reproductive organs of long-term estrogen use. Even obtaining an erection can be difficult after a few months of regular use. Will need to read more to obtain a proper conclusion.
Continuity issue: dialogue takes place Wednesday at the picnic, not Sunday afternoon. Should read Sunday morning.
5448082 Thank you for your feedback, I really appreciate it.
On the first point, my bad, zygote is certainly more accurate.
On the second point, um, I based that on personal experience actually. I guess my wife is a bit on the small side as my hands are fairly average. oh boy, that's an embarrassing mistake.
I guess all I can say is that Rainbow must be pretty small there too because that was meant to be her cervix. Also, it may not have been explicitly stated but I think it's been implied that Rainbow has no hymen. Yes, she has only been with mares, but there were certainly insertions involved. 
5448250
Well there is quite a bit of variation in sizes. Elasticity is another factor, as would be how much one can press against the labia majora without passing through entirely. In the end, as long as you're both comfortable when active and are enjoying things...what else matters? It just struck me as a little odd, and the explanation is adequate.
Look on the bright side. Your wife won't be going to the ER for an emergency flashlight removal any time soon.
5448277 No she won't, I could easily retrieve any lost flashlight from there. It does beg the question though as to why she put a flashlight in there in the first place?
5448297
You'd be shocked how often cylindrical, or even just vaguely round, objects end up lodged in orifices. Flashlights, shampoo bottles, soda bottles, pickle jars, light bulbs, broom handles, sausage links, batteries, sex toys, quarters, crack pipes, drug baggies, billiard balls.
No, I'm not joking. These things get tracked.
5448522 I... am now scared for life. Some of those I can understand, others... How do people think these things are a good idea!? One of the vaginal insertions was a 10" steak knife! On what planet is that a good idea!?
5448903
I don't think a planet exists where it is a good idea. Chances are that a good idea doesn't end up with you in the emergency room.
Good job! Glad to see some transgender twilight action!
5521387 Thank you!
I definitly like it. Its quite well written.
5522233
5522233 so wait...is this story complete? If so, why is it labeled incomplete?
No, this story isn't complete yet, I've just been really slack about updating it. I know this could be a place to end it but it's going to take a new direction soon.
6181506 so how has the newest chapter coming along?
6206569 Slowly I'm afraid, but I'm almost done. mainly trying to figure out where this chapter should end and the next begin and how to do that. Hopefully won't take long.
6206596 well either way this story is staying on my watch list until its completeld, no matter how long it takes
6206720 Until the chapter is completed? or the story? Cause if it's the story, you'll be waiting a while.
6207058 story and I dont care as long as story will be completed
6207612 It will be, eventually, I have two more major ideas I want to incorporate into this. Could take some time. The next chapter will be out soon though.