They Go All The Way Up
Principal Celestia nervously made her way down the labyrinthine maze of hallways, glancing at the room numbers and bronze placards bearing names and occasionally unpronounceably -long medical titles.
209: Dr. Gregory Hoarse, Otolaryngologist.
210: Dr. Caballero, Gynecologist.
241: Dr. Heartstrings, Orthopedics
Wait… where did 211 to 240 go? Where the heck is room 227?
Grimacing, Principal Celestia stared down at the small note her secretary had written her. Dr. Whooves, room 227, Canterlot General Hospital, 1:45pm. A time which was rapidly approaching as she continued to try to navigate the rat’s maze that was the hospital itself.
Principal Celestia didn’t necessarily have anything against hospitals or Doctors, but her nerves had been creeping up on her as 1:45pm approached. She couldn’t remember the last time she had gone to see a doctor. Even working in a school, she’d miraculously managed to avoid the coughs, colds and flus which routinely swept through the unwashed masses that were her students. She’d always simply attributed that to lots of exercise and a good diet filled with roughage.
But recently she’d been having problems she’d never faced before, one of which had finally driven her to request her secretary make this appointment.
After turning down three more hallways and through a cafeteria she was sure wasn’t on the map she’d seen at the entrance, Principal Celestia finally found her way to the door to room 227 and stepped inside.
“Hello ma’am,” the receptionist greeted her in a perky voice. “Can I help you?”
“Yes, my name is Celestia and I have an appointment with Dr. Whooves at 1:45.”
Quick typing and scrolling soon followed before the secretary turned back to her and smiled, retrieving a clipboard and pen. “Ah, here we are. Excellent. It says here this is your first visit with us. Please take this form and fill it out to the best of your ability, and I’ll let Dr. Whooves know you’re here.”
Principal Celestia nodded and took the clipboard and sat down, quickly glancing over it. She’d become quite adept at filling out forms, as any administrator would, and rapidly scrawled through it until she hit one particular section: Current symptoms.
Slowly, Principal Celestia placed pen to paper.
Knee pain.
Lower back pain.
Dizziness.
Lightheadedness.
Exhaustion.
Difficulty balancing.
Headaches.
The next section caused her even more of a start: Family History.
She debated for a moment and didn’t think it would be of any relevance to her current situation, but she also knew she needed to be truthful. At least she knew medical records were confidential.
Sister suffered from temporary stress-related psychological instability.
Finally she finished off the rest of the form, handed it back to the receptionist with a forced smile, and waited. Thankfully it wasn’t long before a lanky, spiked-haired gentleman emerged from the door on the opposite side.
Relieving the receptionist of the form she’d just filled out, Dr. Whooves glanced down at it. “Mrs. Celestia, is it? Hello, I’m Dr. Whooves. If you’ll follow me into exam room 1, we’ll see if we can’t get to the root of your issue.”
Principal Celestia nodded and slowly stood up, the doctor’s eyes briefly going wide.
“Wow, you’re quite tall, aren’t you Mrs. Celestia?”
“Oh, it’s just Miss Celestia. Am I? I’ve honestly never given it much thought. I’m surrounded by young students every day so I’m just used to looking out over everyone’s head already.”
Doctor Whooves nodded and motioned for her to follow. “I see. Well, it says here you’ve been having pain, dizziness, some balance issues… first why don’t you tell me a little about when this began?”
Celestia thought back a little and shrugged. “I’d have to say a month ago. At first I thought I was just tired but it’s been happening more frequently of late.”
“And do you have any idea what might have triggered it? Has anything of note happened of late that you might associate with it?”
“Well, a month ago there was an… incident with one of the students at the school which caused me quite a bit of trouble. I had to run around and deal with quite a lot of fallout from that.”
Dr. Whooves nodded in acknowledgement, motioning for her to take a seat on the exam table and began a quick series of knee- and leg-motion, and reflex tests. Those completed, he wrote a series of notes, then retrieved a stethoscope and began to listen to her heart.
“Do you have any idea what could be causing this, Doctor? The school depends on me quite a bit and I’d hate to find out this is something really serious…”
Dr. Whooves pulled away from her and glanced down at his notes. “Well, I’d like to order some blood tests and perhaps some X-rays to rule a few things out, but I do have a theory. You must have realized you have much longer legs than the average woman, correct?”
Blinking, Celestia stared at him in surprise. “Really? I hadn’t noticed. I mean sure, I’ve caught some of the male students staring, but with their hormones they’ll worship any woman they come across like royalty.”
“Well, just from looking at you, I can tell your legs are substantially longer in proportion to your body than the average. Let me give you an example: If you were a horse, you’d probably be two or three times as tall as all of the other horses.”
Eyes wide, Celestia couldn’t think of a way to respond to such a comment.
“Do you know if this condition runs in your family? Any past medical history of leg dismorphia or leg-related complications?”
“Not that I can recall, but my sister did have a pretty big growth spurt after returning from a long trip recently.”
Dr. Whooves hummed to himself as he wrote further notes “Well, since your sister may suffer from it too, then it’s possibly genetic. Society may say that women with longer legs are more attractive, but I’m worried that since your legs are so much longer than normal, they may be forcing your heart to work harder than it should and thus causing the lightheadedness, dizziness and balance issues. The stress on your joints, your knees in particular, from having to manage such large legs may be what’s causing the joint pain. Unfortunately if that’s the case there’s not really much we can do. Normally I’d be quite concerned about your heart, and I’ll order an EKG just to be sure, but I’m going to hazard a guess that since you’re already a mature woman and this condition hasn’t surfaced before, that your heart is likely not in any immediate danger.”
Principal Celestia just nodded, trying to take this all in.
“Unfortunately we can’t just magically alter your body’s appendages to ease the burden on your joints and heart. Well, okay, amputation is possible but I’d only recommend it for healthy leg tissue if it was a truly dire medical emergency.”
“So what can I do, Doctor? This never used to happen to me and I have so much work to do. I have all of my little students to watch over.”
Dr. Whooves frowned, lost in thought, before finally clearing his throat. “I suspect this issue has been triggered by the stress you’ve been under of late. You mentioned having to run around a lot to manage things after that incident a month ago. How about this: We’ll still do all of the tests I recommended just to be sure there’s no other underlying situation. I’ll write you out a prescription for an anti-inflammatory that should help with your joints. As for your heart, though, I’d suggest taking it a little easier though. Try to reduce the amount of time you have to remain standing. At the very least you should try lowering how much stress you put yourself under.”
“I can’t do that, I’m a school principal. Stress comes with the job. That incident last month left our entire front entrance destroyed! It took two weeks just to get that huge hole in the front yard filled in!” Principal Celestia exclaimed, her right eye twitching slightly.
“Yes, I recall reading something about that in the papers. I’m glad there were no serious injuries. Even so, surely you can delegate some of the more difficult tasks. To your sister perhaps? She’s the vice principal, right?”
“No, that would be terrible. She was gone for so long she’s still adjusting to her current position. I couldn’t put her under more pressure when she’s still trying so hard to get used to being back. As it is, all the stress she’s under now is causing her to have trouble not randomly yelling at everyone!”
Dr. Whooves shifted a little in his seat and thought for a moment more. “Well, perhaps some of the other teachers could help you out?”
“I’ve thought of mandating extra hours but that would just unleash chaos,” Celestia replied with a grimace.
“Perhaps offer increased pay in exchange? Less stick, more carrot?”
Celestia’s frown deepened. “Surely you’ve heard of the budget issues we’ve had since the city decided to cut education funding? And that’s notwithstanding the cost of having to fix up the school façade. The teachers are already overworked…”
“Yes, well, I’m sorry to say but you really need to focus on your health more, Miss Celestia. You need to find some sort of a solution…”
Suddenly a wide grin spread across the principal’s face. “Oh! Oooooooooh! What if I took a small group, maybe a half-dozen students and empowered them to handle some of the issues I normally deal with? I’d have to keep an eye on them, of course, and have them send me weekly reports of any important activity, but they could help reduce the workload, or at least the amount of time I need to run around chasing down problems. Yes… Yes! I could gather a group of trustworthy students and use them to help me maintain harmony in the school.”
“Well, there you go, Miss Celestia! I’m sure that will work out just fine. I’ll write you out that prescription now and we can schedule those tests. In the mean time, let’s discuss your bill….”
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Tennis Match Fan · 1.1k words · 44 5 · 1.9k views
- Gleaming · 3.2k words · 25 0 · 710 views
- Shaud · 5.3k words · 67 1 · 1.7k views
- PegasusMesa · 3.2k words · 87 6 · 2.1k views
- GabladeRunner · 2.4k words · 24 3 · 981 views
- Fandom Trash Snivy · 1.1k words · 26 7 · 1.1k views
- Scantrel · 3.7k words · 54 4 · 2.2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.114 seconds
Total duration
1,025 users online
236,625 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I noticed that when I recently seen rainbow rocks and the first EQG Im like what the hell.
I love this... This is amazing I can't wait to read more!
5070778 Its okay fellow battle brother you dont have to suffer any longer from those... abominations called movies your safe now.
5070778 So... You didn't like it? (please don't give away spoilers)
Oh my...
This idea needs further exploration. Not the Elements of Lazy Principal part, but the Long Legs Lestia part.
5071077 I liked the ending and plot and the 3 second part with octavia with a speaking role.
Whatever you set out to do with this, you didn't accomplish it. :/ I mean, this is pretty straightforward "Celestia's legs are too long", and I didn't find anything particularly comedic about it. If anything, it's a little depressing that she needs to take it easy.
AAAAAALLL the way up.
Wait… where did 211 to 240 go? Where the heck is room 227?
Grimacing, Principal Celestia stared down at the small note her secretary had written her. Dr. Whooves, room 227, Canterlot General Hospital, 1:45pm. A time which was rapidly approaching as she continued to try to navigate the rat’s maze that was the hospital itself.
I can only guess.
5071348
I pretty sure the ending with the "Students of Harmony" was to be the punchline. And I wouldn't say it's too depressing, she has long legs, and was under stress. Already mostly cleared up that it wasn't super fatal, just someone overworked as of late.
But there was a lot of beating around the bush before getting to what I think was the punchline.
5071107 Oh... oh god... "Long Legs 'Lestia" sounds like a terrible porn name... Now I may need to write a story about Principal Celestia's secret sordid past as an adult film actress!
. o O (...As he went down on her 'Lestia wrapped her legs around his head twice...)
5071348 Thanks for the comment even if you didn't enjoy it. I know humour is subjective and if anything this is pretty dark if you think about it too hard, not to mention bordering on slice of life instead.
5071459 You and me both!
5071512
I will say, for a first fic, you're at least on the right track for more slice of life stuff. :B Though I believe you meant the first doctor on the list was an "Otolaryngologist."
5071502 Yup, that's exactly it. After the little stinger at the end of EQ2 I thought to myself 'how and why would the Mane 6 actually form up with new Twilight and take on roles like the elements of harmony we're used to, saving Equestria (Canterlot High) from the weekly or yearly bad guy. Then I came up with the most ridiculous reason I could think of.
5071522 You are correct good sir! I shall have toss in an edit.
Good job with the references to the actual pony world. I also have exceedingly long legs (and arms, and toes, and fingers) . . . I can't even touch my toes!
This really speaks to me, yo~
5071534
And then they lived happily ever after. Until we find out what Discord is in EQ world.
I'll give you props though, you REALLY thought this contrived reason through XP
Kudos.
Personally, I think her legs are a bit too short. Maybe doubling the size would make it look more proportionate.
Hey, congrats on your first posted ponyfic Stichwolf!
Anyway, I really enjoyed this story, a nice little premise with a good surprise at the end there. The only thing I would say is lacking in the story is a little bit of meat, the story ended almost as soon as I really got into it.
I bet Celestia could dunk with legs that long.
5071679 Thanks!
... something, something, something, Space jam!...
5071654 I keep imagining Discord as the Shop Teacher. I'm sure he'd enjoy introducing high schoolers to power tools and such.
5071883
I read a fic once where he was a crazy janitor. But shop teacher sounds fun.
Though I could also see him as a physics teacher, who likes to bend the laws of physics XP
There's a fic here where he is Dr. D. I. S. Cord, guidance counselor and Twilight actually had a meeting with him!
And then they made love as Celestia's payment.
Seriously though, good job. And I LOVE that twist in the end.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/2/21/558309__safe_twilight+sparkle_equestria+girls_edit_wat_size+difference_artist-colon-dtkraus_principal+celestia_amazon_tall.jpg
Fun story. The little shoutouts are great.
5075057 Holy crap, that image! Is that fake or is it actually from Rainbow Rocks? Because if it is, given the standard height of a door is at its lowest 6.5 feet tall in England and up to 7 feet tall in the US, that means Principal Celestia must be over 7 feet tall in addition to having extraordinarily long legs!
Okay, new part of Principal Celestia's backstory: During her younger years Principal Celestia was forcibly drafted into her country's olympic women's basketball team.
5075667 Celestia shudders at her repressed memories every time she passes the gym, and Hoops doesn't quite understand why he keeps getting detention for no reason.
Sadly, it is only an edit (albeit a very good one) by Daniel Tepes Kraus, to (paraphrase) "more accurately portray the characters' size differences relative to their pony counterparts."
But yeah, Celestia as an amazon is a fun idea.
5071633 It would help to not be built like a noodle.
(Noodlism is a serious disease sweeping the nations. Symptoms include: Out of proportion arm and leg length, Giraffe-like necks, and an inability to reach anything below their waist without bending like a limp piece of linguini. I have been a victim now for 10 years, and it really is a pain having to ask short people to find and grab things from the bottom shelf because I can't see down there.)
But really, 6'2" and only 1'5" across, I look like someone took a taffy puller to me.
Though, I think Celestia should have noticed the excessively long legs sooner, I mean it takes me forever to find pants with a 36" inseam and 28" waist. Then again, women's sizing is just absurd, so it may have been more difficult to notice. Plus, her arms would be suffering the same lankiness. An arm is generally about the same length as a leg (I have 34" arms, to the fingertip, and shirts just don't come in that length without massive torsos).
In general, I think Celestia (and Luna, in a few years) suffers from Noodlism.
as soon as i saw this story in the related window I thought "But do they go all the way up?"
*Reads chapter title*
Touche good sir.
His name is Dr Whooves...
He doesn't have hooves...
5076680
Then nobody should explain it to you. If you don't get it, you probably shouldn't know, kiddo.
5080281
No, I did not. I could do that now as proof it was not me, if you would like. There's no reason for me to dislike your story. Heck, I didn't even dislike your comments. Because why would I care? I was being condescending, whatever reaction I got was deserved.
5076680 means she has nice legs.
generally EQG girls got some nice looking legs.
5080830
No problem.
5076257 Who(oves) cares?
5080830
In that case, don't go around insulting people. I mean that as advice, people around here are pretty fucking petty. Still, enough insulting and they'll think you're an asshole and then everyone will start downvoting even if they like the story. Or if they haven't even read it. Try to be polite in public, and if you think someone's being rude when it's not obvious (not directly insulting you) then just ask if they are or not. Don't just immediately attack them over it. That'll get you a bad rep fast and it will stick permanently.
5071348 As depressing as being forced by facts, data, and empirical evidence to agree with you?
I loved the cute little nods to canon.
This story definitely amused me.
Heh. At least Principal Celestia has a legitimate excuse. This amused me. Thank you for it.
This fic . . . so meta, so genius, I love it!
And you, my friend, show great promise. I'll be watching you for sure . . .
Lol...she is the giraffe of people
5071459 Hell, at least they aren't in room 237. (shudders)
cromeyellow.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/room237_1.jpg
You'd get this if you've seen The ShiningInteresting story
5075952 I sort of know that feel, I'm 6' 8" tall and about two and a half feet at the shoulder. The only clothes that come even close to fitting me are fat person clothes, and even then they barely reach my waist. So glad I've stopped growing. Having to have all my clothes tailor made would be too fucking expensive.
As a Filipino... Americans are more or less 2 feet taller than me. I'm still 14, but I know an american younger than me yet still 1.5 feet taller.
So that was Celestia all along
static.thecia.com.au/reviews/d/deuce-bigalow-male-gigolo-6.jpg
5086314 Generally for shirts I go with the XXL for the length, but that puts the sleeves (of short-sleeve shirts even) at my elbows, just because the shoulders are nowhere near my shoulders.
Although, if you can find them, Tall-cut shirts (the ones that look like dresses) actually fit fairly normally).
For long sleeves though, every coat I own in XXXL, just so the sleeves reach my wrists. I can fit 3 people in my coat side by side.
5087222 I have to go five XLs to find clothes that fit me. It truly sucks, especially when the clothes that size are fifty dollar pieces of cardboard that disintegrate after about a month.
And thus, the Elements of the Student Council were born.