- Member Since 4th Sep, 2014
- offline last seen 6 hours ago
RisqueRarity
Your seductively sweet, marshmallow maremoiselle.
RisqueRarity
Joined 4th Sep, 2014 ·
Offline
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That was good.
Not sure what else to say! But this comment section is far too bare!
The monologue sounds like Rarity. Have an upthumb.
Loved it, Risque Rarity for the win!
Well said, wordslinger.
4958537
My first comment, for my first story.
I'm glad you enjoyed it enough to comment at all. I really did try to capture her character in essence.
4958628
I wouldn't be wrong in saying you're too kind. You have my thanks.~
4958630
Thank you, Biker.
Seriously?
4958537
Like your fics
4958630
Is that a new type of cowboys who use revolvers that shoot out words
4958628
such risky, much sex.
Nice, pretty hot story and with a good style. You earned a thumbs up and a fave.
Just one thing you should be careful with: you're switching tenses between past and present all the time. Pick one and stick to it (unless there's a good reason to switch), otherwise it gets distracting.
4959503
I know, it's actually a terrible habit of mine I haven't quite remedied yet.
I keep trying to train my mind to remove the mistake, but this is the third story I've done this with honestly. And thank you for commenting, glad you enjoyed the story and survived till the very end..
That was hot.
Just how old is Rarity here?
That's... Concerning. How did she breathe afterwards?
Then again, if she's centuries old than perhaps she doesn't need to breathe.
49600
You have my thanks for pointing that out.
I'd referred to century one too many times past midnight. It's my own fault for committing to words in the dead of night. I won't speak on the matter of what's clearly being romanticized, but I appreciate every comment, satirical or otherwise all are welcome to speak their mind.~
So she's a nyphomaniac?I hope the establishment she visits has a policy to search for STDs.
4959546
You're welcome.
If you really can't correct yourself, you can always get an editor. There are groups on the site where you should be able to find one.
That was more of a turn-on than I had anticipated. Good work, Risque.
I think you mean 'stomach' each time you use 'lungs'? Inhaling cum probably isn't very pleasant.
Pretty good! Keep writing.
Love your writing style, it was a good read.