- Member Since 17th Oct, 2012
- offline last seen Feb 2nd, 2023
Onyxfire408
Hi, I'm just someone who just writes for fun. Don't expect great stories from me, or a lot of productivity. I'm also a Samurai if you've seen me at Babscon.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm liking it so far, but you may want to find an editor. Keep up the good work!
I like.
It's a nice premise but one thing bugged me instantly in the first paragraph.
^ This
You see here, and sorry to burst you bubble but the Soviet Union hasn't been a thing ever since 1991 and the AK-47 itself has long been replaced by many newer models like the AKM, AK-74, etc. added to the fact that those aren't even factory made anymore. (Unless it's some cheap Chinese model)
5174098 Does it really matter about new models or not? Its a gun and he's gonna use it.
5174101 Huh, when you put it like that, then I apologize if I seemed hostile. I'm just THAT GUY when it comes to chonoligical events.
Today wasn't his lucky day
its
I'm in love with this story
What he said in the last paragraph... 10 outta 10
Loving it! Just an idea, maybe later on, you could throw in some other human survivors. Just saying.
5253230 No
When is the next part coming out?
5265771 Still working on it, some personal stuff came in so just wait.
That's what annoys me with most at the beginning of most HiE fics, pony logic apparently dictates that 'Oh! It's wearing clothes, it must be a new species of wild animal and can't possibly be sentient!' I'm glad there's at least one author that doesn't follow that path of pony logic.
5283404 Congratulations you posted an angry comment. Are you happy?
Didn't they both see and hear his gun go off in Zecora's hut?
Very nice, do continue.
The grammar in this hurts my eyes. You overuse and often misuse "as", your sentences are run-on 3 times out of 5, and everywhere I look, there's a "slowly" or an "easily".
This has no easy or fast fix. Your best bet is to get a decent beta.
5511933 Yes I do realize my grammar sucks. Don't like it? Then go ahead and leave if it hurts that much. You have my blessing.
5511933 And the worse crime of all is that his name is Matt.
5561601 Is that a problem?
I like it!
Yay another chapter
Ok...?
5778193 congratulations, you posted a pointless comment. Anything else you would like to add?
5778330 Yes. This was a good chapter, although a bit strange to me. Good nonetheless.
Pretty good story so far.
You're alive!
lifedaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/frankenstein-its-alive.gif
Oh good. I was ready to poke this story with a stick.
7248375 Yea I'm still alive. Just hit the biggest block ever. Plus Undertale is my cancer and college takes over.
Huh, It's alive. I'll be damned. Good chapter, all-in-all, I'm glad to see this didn't die.
7405901 I want to see this story through, it's never escaped my mind since the day I thought of it.
Been surviving a zombie apocalypse for a while
Scavenging supplies, making sure not to run out of anything he needs
okay...
8061414 Hey why not?
Ugh, when are you gonna make more.......PLEASE!!!
8255889
Trying...honestly trying. Just hard to think of ideas when I have other stories in the banks....and life. Lots of life stuff.
8256347
I can help with ideas
9447090
"Completion Date? Heh, when its ready"
Been busy lad, writers block and life are in the way. But I am working on it, promise.
Please continue
9468577
👍
5561626
It is probably a problem to them because its a Self-insert, on fimfic not a lot of people enjoy fanfics of self-inserts being in Equestria, a lot of people perfer Anonymous because anonymous means [everyone] not only one person. What I’m thinking is that Self-inserts are in a way selfish because they are the only one in the fiction. I personally don’t mind either as long as its not overly edgy. Keep up the good work though I’m really enjoying it so far.