• Member Since 6th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

deathdude223


Comments ( 56 )

This ain't half bad. I would love to see this continue.

3812542 Thanks! This is the first major thing I've ever attempted. :twilightsmile: Although I'm kinda nervous about it tanking completely...:pinkiesad2:

3812552 First of all don't worry, it's a great story so far. Also if your worried about your writing read these. They can really help.

http://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide

http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/02/pony-writing-guide.html?m=1

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WMMs8H-GpFIXPsQeC0RNu8V-Cq6uyGl_UERpOUK_6KY/mobilebasic

Hope you continue doing great!

I sense a good story.Im looking forward to see what happens.

question
why didn't Twilight send a letter to princess Celestia like she does all the time instead of getting on a train which would take longer and put ponyvillie in danger because they just lost there number one defense.
p.s sorry for bad handwriting

3818166 Mostly because I didn't think of it when I wrote this...

okay it's a good story none the less i am looking forward to see what happens next :pinkiehappy:

3818190 New chapter is going to be up tomorrow! Thanks for the feedback!:twilightsmile:

I like the weapons. Never really seen a DSRin a fic before. I personally would've used a Honey Badger PDR or a Kris Super V as my secondary though

do i sense magic resistance :pinkiehappy:
also those injury's sound pretty nasty and why does he cry blood? :rainbowderp:

3823510 It's a sign that you really fucked up your head. If you were to completely jack up your nose, the blood would pour at a fast enough rate to overpower the nostrils. Thus, it backs up and looks for other escapes. (ie: Mouth, Eyes)

Quite interesting

"The government collapsed and took it's overbearing "Laws" with it. "

Yeah, those overbearing laws like DONT DROP NUKES or DONT STEAL OR KILL PEOPLE. Sure all our senior citizens starved to death without social security and Medicare and all our poorest and neediest died without Medicaid and food stamps but hey! Who needs laws? Life is GREAT now!...until a week passes by and you DIE, by your character's own admission of how sucky things have become!

Wow. Contradicted himself in less than two paragraphs. That's something!

Dude I'm really loving this story. :twilightsmile:

Yay! Moar chapters! And this one is great btw.

Another great chapter!

The story is AWESOME so far! Interesting meeting with the princesses and the short bit of conflict was cool.

For a self-insert, it's a pretty good story. However, if you dare turn them into ponies to make your avatar be true, than myself and others will leave. Also, your beginning to write in the style of 'event - problem - solution - repeat' read more stories with 200+ likes.
I ordered a beef hamburger, where's the beef?
blogfiles.wfmu.org/DP/2007/07/images/206_img_1.jpg

3838727 This isn't a self insert story? The only self insert I put in was the way they talk. As for the problem-solution thing. This is the first time I've ever written something like this. I don't quite have a grip on what I'm doing and how to do it just yet.

3839275
Read any story that is a self-insert. They all share this style. This way of responding. These events. The location. The weapons even. Friend and me. We can survive extreme attacks. We always win. No problems in the problems.

3839283 They may share the style but that doesn't mean the stories the same. As for the "We survive everything. We always win." The best I can say is wait and see.

3839304

I don't think you understand the tn2magazine.ie/wp/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Gravity-poster.jpg of the situation

But everytime an author says

wait and see

avadhutrecommends.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/bad-things-happen-by-harry-dolan-1.jpg
I've seen it happen to several others, but just remember to
fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/237/1/c/keep_calm_because_there_is_nothing_you_can_do_by_afiqi-d5cdmy7.jpg
read lots of other stories and review your own and
wordsoverpixels.com/images/3437e2bb285fb19b465110c31e6637fb.jpg
and in the future something like this might happen:
nrcc.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/ww2.jpg


Yes, I am getting carried away with pictures, no you are not the only victim person.

This can't happen the president can't give orders to kill civilians the due process of law and check and balances stop that and that they can't

lock down ALL civilian activity.

the constitution protects our rights.:facehoof:

3897254 That's kinda what I had in mind for the Spidereyes except with a helmet covered like that.

No. I don't give a shit who the fuck you think your OC is, not even COLE TRAIN can still fight after a fucking saw, haven't you played half-life, Gears of War, or even whatsitcalled? Anything made with a saw is an insta-kill or at least a youresofuckedbecauseyoucantmovefromthepain. All my nope. :trixieshiftleft:

3946982 And what of adrenaline? People get shot and don't even feel it once it's pumped through you, I think a saw would follow suit. I never said it hits bone and I did give repercussions. It isn't like he's singing and dancing show tunes.

3947095
Dude, it's a fucking SAW not a piece of aerodynamic metal flying through a small part of your body! Saws, when used on flesh, create intense physical trauma. Adrenaline doesn't make a person superman against things IN your body or if your body has it's per-se infrastructure damaged. It's not like lifting a 2K LB car, when the adrenaline is aiding in affecting something in the external environment. :rainbowdetermined2:

3947095
3947137
he does have a point even still that would make a lot of blood loss and kill instantly

3948255
heh, maybe not instantly, but damn close....still not fast enough, imagine the pain :pinkiecrazy:

3948364
the sound of screams and the splashing of blood ahhhhh im going to go play shooter games and surgeon simulation now

3950968
If your own Garry's Mod on steam, download the Dismemberment mod from the workshop then download the Doom3 SWEPS (weapons) and go in-game, spawn a chainsaw + NPC (AI) + Attack = Mortal Kombat

hurry up and post a new chapter already!!! :flutterrage:

Its a good thing to see you back.

I was wondering where all my favorite fics went and then this popped up.

Good luck and I hope this story keeps going.

Ummm. . . Any reason 'why' they're being shown hostile intent after saving an entire train full of freaking ponies?

I swear to god if it's the "humans are evil" argument, I'll lose my mind.

Also, really classy of Twilight to just ditch the very two people who just saved her ass. A little OOC in my opinion.

Honestly, I forget how we even got to this point, so I may have to read this story from the beginning again.

4738791 I have an idea in mind for the next chapter. Let's just say the OOC Is supposed to be there.

Nice chapter. Good luck with the military

4740003 What's your MOS?

4741878 Cool, I'm aiming for Army Airborne infantry officer for 4 years, the try for SF

4743412 Best of luck to you, my friend! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

It's ok, take your time and get yourself re-oriented and comfortable with writing and us fans will be waiting patiently. Its always a pleasant surprise when a story I thought was dead comes back to life and in a spectacular fashion.

I love this story, thanks for bringing it back.

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