A little bit of girliness

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Shader

Shader #1 · Jun 22nd, 2014 · 1 · ·

Careful of your past and present tenses. For example.

Then her mane caught her eyes. It’s… nice, but hardly what anypony might call sexy. She huffed out a breath and began looking through drawers for a brush and finds an entire drawer filled with combs and hair product and a blow dryer, and curlers, and hairspray she was pretty sure they didn’t make any more, and a brush (thank Celestia). She glares silently at her short mane briefly, but can’t really figure out what she should do with it. She was pretty sure that long manes were in right now, but there wasn’t much she could do about that. Instead she remembered how everypony really liked how Fluttershy’s mane flowed over one side of her face, and she figured that would be simple enough.

ponimademedoit

ponimademedoit #2 · Jun 22nd, 2014 · · ·

4583889
Yeah, it's one of my weaknesses. Thanks for giving me an example to work with, it really helps!

PegaDash

PegaDash #3 · Jun 22nd, 2014 · · ·

this how she must've felt ^^

frostfauna

frostfauna #4 · Jun 25th, 2014 · 2 · ·

I'm painfully curious about the aftermath of this. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom's Reactions would be priceless. I suppose it's more fun to imagine my own ending though. Nice little story though. Very cute without going overboard with the sexual encounter, although that part could have used a little more detail, it was still sweet.

ponimademedoit

ponimademedoit #5 · Jun 26th, 2014 · 1 · ·

4599857
me too actually, thinking about a follow up, but I'm just not sure where I'd go. Well, the one idea for this to be a series would be that it starts a grand adventure of Scootaloo exploring her sexuality and womanhood and tomboyishness and just letting it be a mutual one night stand between Scootaloo and Rarity, or maybe a friends with benefits, or an open relationship, or an actual relationship with the age gap, I just don't know

And, yeah, I learned something writing this, reading a whole bunch of sexy stories does not make one proficient at writing them. I wanted to avoid being super cheesy, but I think it came off as too short and probably mechanical. It was partially due to it all being really really spur of the moment and by the end of the story I just really really wanted to finish writing so I would finally go to sleep already Xp. Same thing when I was cleaning it up, since the sexy bits were already more fleshed out and I was tired I just cleaned up the formatting and grammar a bit. Part of me wants to fix it over and over again, but that might be a bottomless pit. Instead I should probably try to move on to other projects if I want to keep improving, leaving this as a reminder..

Anyway, I'm being all carrying on and rambly tonight, so I hope you come up with a good ending of your own!! Glad you enjoyed it!

fluttershyfan3030