• Member Since 20th May, 2014
  • offline last seen Jul 26th, 2014

Yin or Yang


Taking a permanent break.

T
Source

Rarity is supposed to attend a fashion show in an hour, but when she wakes up, she is incredibly drowsy. When an accidental trip into her closet and a choice of outfit in the dark starts her day, things only get stranger as she trots to her destination, culminating in walking into a robbery. Will Rarity be able to keep her sanity?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 10 )

Not bad, have an incredibly frustrating gif image:

i.imgur.com/bqvE3At.gif

Loving it,I'll put it in the favorites

Adorbs, I give it a +1! :twilightsmile:

Not too shabby! i give it a like! :raritywink:

From the description, I was expecting more hijinks and silliness than that. The idea of the story is somewhat unique and as a result, may have put a bit too much expectation on the story. Not that its fault to begin with. An average story for a interesting plot. If you gotten better in story writing in the future, would you please redo the whole thing?

4520788 They did say they write short stories, and I think that is was good.

Radiance is the hero Ponyville deserves.

Cute and funny story, although the cover image gave away the ending. Somewhat contrived that Rarity would put on an outfit without even looking at it (what, did Sweetie steal all her mirrors?), but otherwise very amusing. Also, Rarity foiling robbers using only her hooves was completely badass. Only downside was that it was so short.

Maybe we can see a few sequels where Rarity accidentally puts on other outfits?
"Thank Celestia you're here! We have a cattle stampede on our hooves!"
"Darling, whatever makes you think I could help you?"
"Why else would you be dressed as a cowgirl and carrying a lasso?"
"Oh, all right."

A few minor errors, mostly incorrect words ("Lyra with an amusing grin") but nothing that stands out.

4522833 Thanks for the feedback. I'm working bit by bit to make my stories longer and more complex, as we all have to start somewhere, but thanks for catching one of my mistakes.

4521207

Yes, it good and I enjoy reading it, but the short story and content (as well as my expectation from the description) make it around average. Good enough for a one time read, not enough for a repeat. Sorry if I didn't make the clear in my previous comment. A redo in the future, where the author will improve, will make me read it again.

4523337 I'm aware that my writing skills are not what one would call superb, but as a novice, I recognize that the more I practice and gain feedback, the more I can improve.

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