• Member Since 14th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Nameless Narrator

Reading order/list is on the profile page. Grab a book and don't mind me. I just mop the floors here, and put boards over the plot holes.


Hurray for the art of diplomacy!
Through sacrifices, lies and promises the peace has been reached!
The Queen and the Princess are working together towards better future!
As if...

Semi connected stories about Chrysalis' newest attempt at wooing Shining Armor, Cadence's attempts at stopping it and the poor fools from both sides caught in between.

A little attempt at comedy which should not be taken seriously.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 34 )


This is all this needs


Okay... This looks like a dusty old book. *takes it off the shelf* *a literal tidal wave of dust floods the library*




*swims to the top, gasping for air and opens the book*

Awww... most of the pages are missing! Oh well. *looks around* *mutters to self* hopefully that crazy looking janitor can clean up this mess *swims out of the Nameless library, book in tow, ready to read*

He shrugged. It was a stroke of luck that there was no snow yet so he unhinged his saddlebags and began setting up the frame for his tent.

Yet? Wasn't it snowing back at the end of Imbalanced? Unless this takes place roughly a full year after then, which makes no sense as it shouldn't have taken so long for Celestia and Chrysalis to form their peace and all...

Perhaps this is before the end of Imbalanced?

Well, there is only one chapter missing (or planned, to be honest, with how much I messed this up), and that one should cover Cross and Heavy actually giving each other a chance, which becomes a basis for their relationship from now on.
*Picks up a broom*
"Ready to work."
"Zug zug."
I genuinely can't recall, but it's definitely set after Sharp Biscuit dies. Maybe it just happened to be a warmer day or two during the same winter?
EDIT: changed to "no snow yet today" Hopefully it'll be enough for now.

Okay, perhaps you should eventually get around to finishing that last chapter, for the sake of OCD if nothing else...

And good luck cleaning that up. These books really shouldn't sit for so long, but with how nobody really has checked them out, especially this one with only one comment before I stopped by... it's no wonder that so much dust was collected...

The dream ended with a lot of begging and pleading coming from the (un)fortunate thief and Shining opened his eyes. He wasn't in his bed and it was dark but there were two sets of legs wrapped around him so he decided to give Cadence a chance at continuing his dream here and now. Turning around he wrapped one of his front legs around Cadence's neck and his other one found its way lower and squeezed the big, round, hard... hairless, shiny, black rump of his wife?

"Where's your other hand?"

"Between two pillows..."


...or something...

Shining rolled onto his assailant and began punching down and screaming. He wasn't going to be filled with changeling eggs in any other way than hard-boiled or sunny-side up and his crazy giggling followed the thought shortly.

Apparently, Shining Armor and common sense don't go well together... Who knew?

Cross parted the flaps of his tent and let the light in. Contrary to his expectations, Shining Armor was still alive and being watched by an incredibly confused-looking commander Shadowstep as he kept wailing and punching her chest. The amethyst-colored changeling queen wasn't trying to fight back but kept screaming surprisingly in sync with the prince and stopped for a second when she saw Cross come inside.

Wait... changeling queen? I thought only two kings or queens (or one of each) of the changelings can be alive at any one time... hence, back in Management, when king said that he would prefer the Hive pile just make someone else King, and they said that "your willingness alone is not enough..."

I would figure only one king and one queen, but how the same pile was ranting about how they should have crowned Eight, or One on multiple occasions instead implies otherwise...

I only didn't mention anything about Guiding Light because one; she is the Queen of changelings from an alternate universe, and two; the dreamlings are technically not normal changelings, and the fate-changing spell used to create them and/or the fact that Blaze was only half changeling might have meant dreamlings were an exception to the rule.

In any case, either King is dead, or there is something wrong with either this, or my understanding of this universe...


...the element of suffering would be so proud...

"I'm a mailmare, I've gotta know."

....seems legit.

I admit it's a bit confusing.
"A queen-tier changeling." - a female changeling with the same characteristics as Chrysalis - additional plating around belly, fully developed horn, real mane and tail, about alicorn sized. Power-wise a changeling who could be/become a queen. This basically means a separation from a normal black changeling template. Shadowstep being referred to as the "amethyst queen" means simply a purple queen-tier changeling. (Well, Shadowstep is basically a real queen of her own small hive/unit but the explanation still stands).

You gotta remember that at the time when I was writing this, we literally had only 1 changeling episode and nothing further to go on.

A changeling queen/king meaning an official ruler refers to Chrysalis, Guiding, the Boss, Anthrax (I actually can't recall the glitterbug king name atm and can't be arsed to look it up). BUT I use the term queen usually for queen tier changelings as well as actual rulers, because it sounds better. My bad, I guess, but it's easy to work out from the context.

Also, every hive can have its own king/queen, but in my lore there are basically Chryssie's lings, Shadowstep's unit, Guiding's dreamlings, and the Boss' group at the moment.
Derpy is a Pinkie-grade enigma.


Also, every hive can have its own king/queen

...then what was with the whole bit implying that there can only be two (at the moment, I thought it was just one, then I found out Chrysalis was still alive) royal changelings at a time? Couldn't the Hive pile just have declared One or Eight the queen of a separate hive, instead of insisting on King/Boss's death?

I declare this a plot hole! *puts up sign, warning you to watch your step around the hole*

Tirek the Great, Tirek the Mighty, Tirek the Destroyer - all those and many more titles from creatures throughout the ages fit this dreadful abomination who was right now roaming the streets of Ponyville and sucking out the special traits of everypony he could get his hands on. He was forgetting one thing though - that 'special' didn't mean good in every circumstance.

Let me guess... he 'eats' blazing, and commits suicide after getting his depression...

He, the rightful ruler of Equestria, was stomping and cleaving his way through every powerless obstacle when he spotted a grey pegasus flying in strange patterns through the sky.

...even better...

"Good," Tirek grabbed the pegasus and opened his mouth, "Now give me the power of your terrifying gaze! NOM NOM NOM!"

Haha... ha-haha...

Tirek the Mango Craving–

Why is this so funny!?

Tirek knew that the most powerful magic users went mad eventually...

This does not bode well for Twilight...

"Lord, you say? And this well-endowed, you say? JACKPOT!" Starlight disappeared under his belly and Tirek felt himself being touched in places time itself had forgotten.


I think it's still more a terminology problem than a logical one. Or maybe I'm just not seeing it.

Groups of changelings form a hive mind on instict (let's say as a storage space for knowledge and means of communication), and even solo changelings can have a "slot" like that. The hive memories/old rulers represented the biggest surviving hive mind and the line of rulers leading all the way back to Wistful (speaking of which, it is stated that Shadowstep had removed herself from the hive mind not to drain more power.) They copied her into the hive mind when things started to go south just before the kaboom, abandoned Chrysalis who they thought was dead (lost contact after she got knocked out and paralyzed by the explosion), and created a new king hidden far away from someone malleable and weak they could control, which took a lot of energy and effort. At first, they couldn't simply have Eight kill the Boss, and proclaim her a new ruler due to the power needed to make her ascend. Later, to make a different king, they would still need the Boss dead, which they eventually tried to do and failed.

It is also explicitly stated that Shadowstep returned as a general ranked under Chrysalis. I'm sorry, just don't see the hole nor the sign, I really don't. But hey, that means I'm not underrated, and that what little recognition I'm actually getting is exactly as much as I deserve.
Yeah, this story was supposed to be a happy joke, then plot happened.
Enter Tirek the Molested And Seeing A Therapist.


Later, to make a different king, they would still need the Boss dead, which they eventually tried to do and failed.

Why though? That's the plot hole I'm seeing.

•Boss (the king) needs to be dead for a new ruler to be crowned.
This implies a limit on how many rulers there can be.

—Yet at the same time, you imply there is no limit by saying that each hive can have its own ruler, meaning the Hive pile could have just taken One or Eight and declared her the ruler of a new hive.

So why does the Boss need to be dead for a new ruler to be crowned? Or why couldn't they just make One/Eight the ruler of a new hive?

That is the plot hole I see.

Warning: This isn't a real chapter of Heroes but the final part of Horn And Wings story connected with it.

...welp, I guess I will check back later then. Off to the next story!

I had to check, and the first story you're supposed to read from this trio is Diplomatic Relations, but in the end it actually doesn't matter. There are links between the three final chapters.


I guess off to Diplomatic relations.

...so? Any news on that plot hole?

the one from

Alright, I did something I swore never to do because it hurts both my eyes and my brain, and makes me facepalm at what I wrote - I read through the forty pages of my notes and the earlier parts of Management to get an idea what I was thinking over a year ago when it all started. I normally just shoot from the hip when answering comments, but holes with signs by them are serious business.

So, I was wrong on this before before:
There is no physical reason there can't be more than one changeling ruler within one hive. A ruler can give birth to another ruler. The reason why it hasn't been done unless the old ruler was in grave danger is that there was always a good chance of rebellion, splitting of the hive in two, and subsequent war.

The reason why the hive memories couldn't/didn't turn anyone else into a ruler was a matter of required power, timing, and no good targets (I'll get to that).

1) The story starts right before the invasion. When Three and the Boss meet, the invasion is failing, the hive memories are threatened by Chrysalis' failure, copy her mind right as the explosion is about to hit, and are finding a safe host in whom they can hide and whom they can use.
2) The changelings are paralyzed and stunned by the magical blast, the hive memories lose contact with hosts as the explosion spreads. They need hive changelings, not randoms who have been away from the hive for so long that they could barely influence them, especially those who escaped from the hive on their own.
3) The memories jump from changeling to changeling looking for someone at least not dying. Unfortunately, everyone not in Canterlot is either dead or about to be, making them jump from near-corpse to near-corpse, draining a lot of them to sustain themselves with whatever little drops of energy they can. This way, they follow the corpse trail (the only changelings they can reach) back to the hive where they find two alive candidates.
4) One of the candidates is a mentally crippled drone easy to control, but without any potential because it wouldn't be too useful without too much invested energy. Likely it would die even if instructed what to do. The second candidate is a little older drone spawned shortly before the massive burst of suicide drones for the invasion. He isn't that mentally damaged, and has already managed to gain a follower and instinctively form a miniature hive mind of their own. They possess him. Considering most changelings start as drones and then evolve into a further role based on the hive's needs (they don't have to, but it's a complete and safe growing process), drones have the most potential for biological metamrphosis.
5) Using whatever little love they can spare without killing themselves, they start the changing process inside the drone, using all his shapeshifting potential to make the tranformation as thorough as they can, thus blocking his normal changeling transformations. The goal is either to make a new king who would be the next in the long line of rulers, or if he proves inadequate he would be easy enough to take control of. Drones aren't the most mentally capable.
6) The two drones find a nearly dead warrior, and for a reason beyond the rulers' understanding they save her instead of devouring her for more power and knowledge. Now the rulers do have a new target they could make into a queen, but no energy. The group finally make it into a small settlement where the warrior helps the other two survive and regain small amount of power. The rulers start recuperating, but the transformation process from the drone to the king is already running on its own and can't be stopped. However, at this point the drone isn't resisting the rulers too much, and what he's doing is gathering followers and gaining power. Things are going according to the rulers' plan, no reason to change strategy.
7) The three changelings find a real infiltrator with whose help they manage to solidify their position within the small town. The hive rulers feel the presence of another vastly powerful changeling into whom they can't get, someone who seems to know how everything they do works better than they themselves. That changeling is hiding, observing, and recovering from the invasion as well. Do what they might, they can't reach One who has been Wistful's friend for a very long time, talking to him about the old times where things were different, and learning far more about how changelings work internally than the other queens who despised him as the original failure.
8) While the drone is reluctant to part with the energy the group gathered, he's still growing the new hive, and can't resist. Besides, the new potential targets are problematic, so they use them as a verbal threat to scare the drone. The other drone is unusable despite gradually getting a little smarter. The warrior, while subservient and tus perfect for control, is for some reason highly resistant to any influence other than from the drone the rulers are already "controlling". The newly rescued infiltrator would be the perfect target, but he's wounded and, as stated before, the rulers are still alright with how their plan is going, so there's no reason to change their strategy.
9) The group move to Canterlot where they start actively resisting the rulers' influence. However, they are still failing. The plan changes from making a new king to draining this one and using the body. At this point, wasting a massive amount of energy on making a new king from Ten, the only usable candidate, becomes risky as it would leave the rulers weak to possible counterattack by the boss and Eight. Four is a non-factor, because she's a crippled specimen.
10) One joins, and gets to know about what the rulers have been doing ot the boss. They try to negotiate with One, but she sees the difference between what the rulers did with lost changelings (and the history of the hives throughout ages) from her being good friends with Wistful (leave lings for dead, try to save themselves), and what the Boss tried (2 alive cripples in his group, trying to save prisoners, a high-rank loyal to the death for some reason). She damages Boss' brain to put him to the test of willpower. After all, a bad leader would have been left by his subordinates. She even starts teaching Four, partly to kill time, and partly to make another changeling choose between a weak leader and her own destiny. Four refuses to leave the boss even after she becomes fairly capable very quickly.
11) Paladins attack, and the boss refuses to leave anyone behind, even the defects Four and Three, earning a lot of One's respect as well as facehoofing, and the same now goes for Ten. The hive rulers now suspect, that making another king or queen wouldn't result in their victory. The changelings are either useless (prisoners, Three, Four), loyal beyond influence (Eight), an unsure risk (One), or too easy to kill if discovered as a traitor (Ten, Nine), especially after what Eight did to the traitor changelings who drained Three. In the meantime, the Boss' Kingly capabilities grow, as the process is now automated even without his shapeshifting ability, like regenerating a cut or growing hair.
12) From this point onward they have to fight for every bit of energy they can steal. Wasting any on the only potential target - One, could prove fatal. Four slowly becomes an option as her power grows extremely fast, but One expects it, and the first thing Four learns is mental defense, and One's commands. On top of that, One being constantly close to Four allows her to monitor the small infiltrator.
13) One, however, has to keep the plan going, otherwise the rulers would think of something else, if they knew they were against a group completely and firmly behind the Boss, which is why she pretends to be evil, to mess around, and to be more interested in her own survival, intrigue, and possible ascension to queenhood. They want to offer it to her, but they can't get into her head. She's too powerful to use force against, and knows too many mental tricks thanks to Wistful.
14) The last resort of the rulers becomes direct fight against the Boss' mind, and he proves to be controllable during the fight with Star Trail and later Celestia when they borrow him power and in turn gain some control over him. One knows about this, and after taking control of Luna, she learns some details about the isolation spell from her as they travel to Ponyville.
15) The rulers succeed in taking over the body they have been preparing for so long. Luckily, the Boss overdoses on cocaine, and his body shuts down. The rulers panic, and retreat back to the depths of the hive mind. One uses it to set up the isolation, and along with Eight and the Boss himself kill the old rulers.

I think this covers the opprotunities rulers had, and their thinking. Hopefully. If I strayed completely from your actual point, I'm sorry. Thinking is for smart people, me head hurts now.

I consider this explanation... satisfactory!

So basically, it wasn't that the Hive Pile couldn't make a new royal changeling as was implied, just that doing so would be practically suicide for them.

In other words, in the tense of a game of chess, it is like moving your king... directly horizontally to an enemy rook. It's not that such a move can't be done, just that doing so would pretty much mean forfeiting the game, and should be avoided no matter what.

The problem I saw was that it was implied to be impossible to create a new ruler when it really wasn't. It would just be suicidal for the Hive Pile to make such a move at every point in time throughout the story.


*yells out, signaling a construction crew to start rolling in, whom then proceed to fill in the p(l)ot hole.*

*picks up sign, leaves*

*Picks up the mop when he hears sudden noises.*
*Looks up and notices a construction truck INSIDE the library*
"What the-?"
*Turns around and walks away.*
"I'm gonna read this in the bathroom."

Okay, all three pieces of that, but the story is still far from over.

I'm pretty sure this one's done. It looks like I have to send the poor kids another bowl of rice to start working on the right sleeve of the T-Shirt.
On the other hole/hand/hoof/tentacle, the next story is supposed to be the best one I've ever written, or at least the best one from Imbalanced storyline. (Not my words, obviously. My words are usually much less friendly and inviting, often revolving about burning the entire library down along with the janitor.)

Meh. There's still the epilogue in HaW, but close 'nuff.

Okay, this should come with have SOME sort of a warning label.

*backs away slowly*
Eeeeh... I don't even...

If your erection lasts more than 4 hours, please contact your nearest changeling.
It's time to do a 360 turn and walk "away".

This morning should have been exactly the same as all the others since the relocation to Ponyville for Horatio Theodore Menelaos Cross - open his eyes, deal with all existential uncertainty, crack his knuckles, remember his whole name and listen in delight to his commander screaming in horror caused by some long-buried memory from days long passed.

Here. 9242058

Heh, Menelaos. That's the one I was forgetting...

Oh right, I slapped them all together and made up a sensible reason in the end. Well now you've made me look stupid.
On the other hand, that's not too difficult.

Not bad. Trying to juggle an anthology of background asides in the world and a proper storyline (up to and including who the hell are these people anyway) was probably not the best move though.

Also apparently Changeling Queens have so much power they can handle a font or dark magic so powerful Tirek gourged himself and couldn't make a dent. Maybe the love power had something to do with it, I think it has the type advantage over dark types.

Yeeeah. As I said, this set of stories is made for the eventual chopping block.

Everything here is so great... :rainbowlaugh:

Nah... it goes from fun to the usual dark story way too fast. Just read the one story chapter for the full ending of Horn and Wings (Together we stand, part whatever), and move on.

Cross, though, isn't a changeling."

Dun dun duuuuuun

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