Tea with Jam and Bread

by Dizzy Daze

What Is This Blasphemy?

Princess Celestia, Diarch of Equestria and Bringer of the Sun, liked her routine. She was a creature of habit, just like anypony. Sometimes her need for a schedule became too much and led to, say, the vanquishing of her sister for leaving the moon up for too long. But that's a different story.

A crucial part of Celestia's day was her afternoon tea. She shared it with ambassadors, friends, students, servants, or simply sat alone. No matter what she had been doing, if she was in Canterlot at four o'clock in the afternoon, she always transitioned herself to the garden courtyard just off of her throne room, sat in the left seat of the third table, and waited to be served her tea and cake.

---

It was June sixteenth. The day began like any other; a touch muggy perhaps, but relatively normal for a Canterlot summer. Celestia rose at exactly seventeen minutes after five and lifted the sun over the horizon. She ran a brush through her flowing mane, slipped into her regalia, and continued towards the royal breakfast chambers to share a meal with her sister. After half an hour, she excused herself from the table and proceeded to her throne room, where she chatted with her guards for a few minutes. At six o'clock, she instructed the front doors to be opened, and dozens of petitioners swarmed in, each hoping for a chance to meet with their princess during her morning court.

At noon, the remaining ponies were politely ushered out, and the doors were once again shut firmly. After a thirty-minute lunch, Celestia turned to her secretary, who directed her through the diplomatic meetings of the afternoon. Her last appointment, at three thirty, dealt with a particularly irksome noble, who spent almost the entire time complaining about the plans for the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration. As the clock neared four, she began thinking of ways to tactfully dismiss him (for she certainly did not want to share tea with someone so rude), but thankfully, he ran out of things to say and departed, seeming more annoyed than before.

With a smile, the princess traveled through the halls of the palace into her favored courtyard. She seated herself delicately at her favorite table and sighed in contentment, closing her eyes for a brief second. The squeaking of a familiar tea cart met her ears, and she opened her eyes to see a young mare approaching.

"Good afternoon, Serving Spoon," Celestia kindly greeted.

The mare bowed. "Good afternoon, your Highness. What kind of tea would you like on such a beautiful day?"

The alicorn pondered this for a moment. "I think, perhaps, jasmine," she replied.

Serving Spoon nodded and set to work preparing the teapot. She placed it on the table, along with a small bowl of sugarcubes, a fine china cup and saucer, and a small silver spoon on a napkin. She returned to her cart and frowned.

"Princess," she began, a worried look upon her face. "I must apologize. It seems that I have grabbed the wrong plate. Please, allow me to fix it. I'll be right back."

Celestia held up a hoof. "Nonsense. I'm sure whatever you've brought is fine, my little pony."

Serving Spoon smiled uncertainly and lifted a delicate plate from the cart. She set it in front of her princess, and cleared her throat. "This is chef Foster's famous soda bread." She reached back onto the cart and pulled out a pot of jam, a knife, and a small dish of butter. "These are gifts, sent from the mayor of Appleloosa, in thanks for your visit last week."

The princess looked uneasily at her teatime snack. The servingmare, noticing this, winced. "Your Highness, I can always return them to the kitchen."

Celestia waved her off once more. "It's perfectly fine, my dear. I am simply an old mare who is stuck in her old habits. Thank you very much. Now, if you please, I would like to take my tea alone today."

Serving Spoon retreated, bowing. "Of course, Princess."

Once more by herself, Celestia observed the bread in front of her. It looked appetizing enough, and she certainly commended her chef's skills. It just... didn't feel right, taking tea with jam and bread, rather than her customary cake.

She laughed to herself. "Tia, this is fine," she muttered aloud. "All that cake every day can't possibly be healthy for you. Besides, change is good sometimes." She poured her tea, dropped in a sugarcube, and stirred idly, thinking.

She thought of all of the times she had taken tea in the past. She had shared a pot many times with her faithful student, and there had been cake. Fleur de Lis, Luna, Blueblood, Cadance, Rarity, Lyrica, Octavia, even that fateful time with Discord: there had been cake. It seemed silly to change such a long-held tradition.

Then again, it was silly to make such a big fuss about such a trivial matter. Cake or bread; what did it matter, really? It shouldn't.

Celestia looked once more to her plate. The bread sat there, warm and enticing. Just like cake was beautiful, so too was the bread, in its own right. Just because she preferred the one didn't mean she had to neglect the other. It deserved to be appreciated for the work put into it.

It reminded her of her sister, in that respect. Celestia drew a metaphor in her mind. She was like the cake, and Luna... Luna was like the bread. Sure, the ponies all knew how great cake was, and loved it, and seemed to prefer it over all other baked goods. But they also loved bread. Bread was a staple to their diet. It might have seemed overlooked and neglected, but it was quietly and greatly appreciated by all. And just like the humble baker put work into his bread, so did Luna put work into her sky.

With this new mindset, Celestia saw her snack as a beautiful symbol of her sister. Eagerly, she levitated the knife, dug it into the pot of jam, and spread it over the top piece of bread. She picked it up and bit into it.

Oh, goddess. It just tasted so wrong. She spat out the bite, wiping her tongue on her napkin. The entire cup of tea went into the princess's mouth at once, in a futile attempt to wash out the taste. Celestia stared down at the bread in disgust and disappointment.

A page came galloping out into the courtyard. "Forgive my intrusion, your Highness, but it appears that the city is under attack!"

The princess glared back at her plate. She knew she never should have broken habit.

Comments

[Didlsbrony4evah]

Lesson of the day: Give Celestia cake or you'll start the apocalypse.

[Pyriel]

4294781 eeyup. It must be Monday.

[Gleaming]

I guess what we've learned from this is, if you don't give Celestia her cake, the world will end. Seems legit.

[BlazzingInferno]

Loving this, so far. I can't wait for more!

[Dizzy Daze]

4294857
Oh, whoops. It's actually done, I just derped and marked it as incomplete.

[Whiteeyes]

Soda bread? Never heard of it, how does it taste?

[Dizzy Daze]

4294961
It's not really that different from yeast bread, really. It's just made with baking soda and an acidic ingredient (usually cream of tartar) to make it rise. It's pretty good.

[Seether00]

Cake is the superior baked good.

[BlazzingInferno]

4294859
My comment still stands; if not more chapters then more stories of this caliber

[Whiteeyes]

4294988 Huh, sounds a bit bitter actually.

[-TheStoryteller-]

.....that escalated quickly. Motto: never trust bread

[Firebirdbtops]

Silly Celly, you need Mustard for that one to shine.

[toxiconym]

4303447 www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLlLQ3LmZWU