• Published 30th Mar 2014
  • 1,098 Views, 21 Comments

Discord and Luna's Quest for Pancakes - Stardust Speedster

When the Royal Pantry is empty, the two biggest trouble-makers in Equestria have to get their breakfast fix. By annoying everyone and being awesome while doing it!

  • ...

Silly Celestia...

-Luna's Bedroom-

Luna rolled around in her bed, wide awake. She turned to her clock to see it was only 3 A.M. She sighed as she got up out of bed, unable to sleep. She had had a busy day yesterday, with all the learning of why you should not send a pony to a dungeon for jaywalking, and how it is rude to slap a stallion for coughing on her. In her defense, that guy could've given her the Sniffles!

"Uh, I cannot sleep this night," she sighed to herself. Suddenly, a large growling sound erupted from her stomach. She rubbed her stomach while thinking of something to eat. She thought of all kinds of breakfasts, where she settled on pancakes. Their fluffy golden goodness made her mouth water. Sadly, the cooks were off for the night, so she would have to go make some herself. She walked through the empty hallways, remarking that it was really boring. "No wonder nopony hangs out at night," she whispered.

Luna eventually made her way to the Royal Pantry, where she opened the cabinets to look for the mix. The first cabinet held none. That was fine, Luna thought. Just look in the other ones. But each one held fruits, veggies, brains, and cakes for her sister, but no pancake mix! It was too late for the lunar princess to choose something else now; she MUST have pancakes. She used the Royal Canterlot Voice to wake up her sister.


Celestia teleported into the Pantry, her mane in a mess. "Travesty? Where? Is Sombra back?" she asked with fear.

"I wish it were that small!" Luna replied.

"Have the Gates of Tartarus burst open, letting all the demon spawn out?!"

"If only!"

"Then what has happened, Luna?!?!?" Celestia said, shaking her younger sister back in forth like a rag doll.

"We have no pancake mix!"

Celestia stared at her sister blankly, then she put her face to her hoof. "Luna, how is that the end of the world?"

"Because I'm hungry, and Luna wants pancakes," she said, rubbing her tummy sadly.

"Luna, it's three in the morning. Who eats at three in the morning?"

-Somewhere in Ponyville-

An alarm went off in the home of Derpy Hooves. She awoke groggily to look at the clock. She jolted out of bed when she saw what time it was. "Alright! Three o' clock!" she said as she ate some muffins.

-Back at the Castle-

"Besides, can you not wait until it's BREAKFAST time to eat pancakes?" said the solar princess, annoyed that she woke up for this.

"Hey, it's breakfast time somewhere!" said a familiar voice, as the elder sister sighed.

"Oh, great. What now, Discord?"

The draconeqques popped into the room, grinning down at the two. "What's wrong, Sun-Butt? Didn't get enough beauty sleep? You need it, what with all your wrinkles." Luna tapped him on the shoulder while Celestia's cheeks got red with rage.

"So, thou believes it is right that pancakes should be had now?" She said with hope in her voice. Before he could answer, Celestia interrupted him.

"Look, I gotta raise the sun in a few hours, so why don't you just go down to the store and BUY some mix? And give me some piece and quiet..." she grumbled as she walked back to her room. The Princess and the Trickster looked at each other, then grinned.

"Want to take the royal carriage?"

"Only if I ride shotgun."


The door to the Royal garage burst apart as Luna and Discord drove down the streets of Canterlot like a bat out of Tartarus. The Princess drove, one hoof out the window and one on the wheel. Discord was in the passenger seat, wearing a pair of awesome shades. While the dubstep blared out loud for everypony to hear, Luna took a look at the Trickster's glasses.

"Can thou see with those glasses at night?" she asked.

"No, but I look cool, so what does it matter?" he laughed, as he moved his head to the beat. This made sense to Luna, as the dynamic duo raced towards the nearest grocery store. May Celestia help whoever was on the road that night.

-At the Royal Quik-e-Mart-

The Royal Carriage slamed through the side of the store, making the only worker there wake up with a start. The cashier, In N. Out, looked to see his favorite princess and the god of chaos(wearing a pair of sunglasses) exit the carriage and enter the store.

"Well, you're definitely a better parallel parker than I am," Discord admitted.

"Oh, thou are too kind, Discord." she said with a hoof wave.

They walked over to the teenage colt, who sweat like a leaky hose. The two looked down at him as he flinched.

"Good morning, sir. We are wishing to know if thou has any pancake mix?" Luna said offhandedly. The colt opened his eyes to see them waiting on him.

"Well, come on, we don't have all day to wait." said the draconeqquess. So In N. Out galloped to the powdered food section and got what they wanted, shaking all the while. He returned to the register, finding Luna to be trying on some bunny slippers and Discord using a extra long back scratcher.

"Uh, that will be 1 bit, p-please." he gulped as he handed them the box. The princess grabbed it with her magic while Discord snapped his fingers, producing a pile of 100 bits on top of the cashier. He managed to dig himself out in time to see Luna walk back to the carriage, while the Trickster pulled down his shades, revealing his eyes.

"Keep the change, ya filthy animal." He then made his way back to the carriage, running into a metal pole due to the shades. He shook his head, then got in with the princess before the carriage lifted into the air, flying back towards the castle. Luna shouted out as they rocketed home:

"For glory! For honor! For my stomach! AWAY!"

-Back at the Castle again-

Luna crashed into the wall of the castle, the front of the Royal Carriage busted to pieces. As she ran to the kitchen, she beamed as how that was the least amount of property damage she's caused in her last 1,000 years of driving. The duo made it just in time to see Celestia standing there, looking grumpy as usual.

"And may I ask what you two were doing?" she said in a motherly tone. The two cool ones rolled their eyes as they presented their prize to her.

"We took the one piece of good advice you gave us, and got some pancake mix," grinned Discord. Luna gave out a small squee at the thought of eating those fluffy stacks of joy and wonderment. "At least I know now which one's the FUN sister." he said as he flicked the solar princesses' nose.

"Ugh, fine. Make the pancakes so I can rest knowing you two will stop wrecking havoc, for today, at least." Celestia sighed.

The duo looked at each other for a moment, then scratched the back of their heads with embarrassment.

"Uh, sister... I know not how to make pancakes."

"So, you wake me up, destroy half the town, and make another hole in the wall, JUST to say you DO NOT know how to make them?!" she practically yelled.

"Couldn't you make them, Sun-Butt? I mean, you must know how to cook a little. How else could your flank get THAT HUGE?!" he said, shrinking down next to her rear end to drive it home. "Oh my god, her rear end is blocking out the moon!" he squeaked, posing dramatically. Her white cheeks grew red as she said nothing.

"Well, looks as if I shall not be getting any pancakes..." Luna said sadly, a single tear forming in her eye. Discord warped right next to her and looked her in the eyes.

"Do not fret, my friend. For I have an idea." He took out a map from nowhere and pulled it open, showing all the restraunts in all of Equestria. He pointed down to one in Canterlot, which read out, "Pancake Palace: Where Royals come to stuff their faces," The trickster then pointed to the smaller print: "Open 24/7".

"Oh, glorious days! Pancakes, Pancakes everywhere!" she cheered. She looked to the still-red faced Celestia, then said, "Do not wait for us, sister. Discord and thyself will be swimming in the fluffy world of breakfast for however long it takes for them to run out of food. I'll be sure to put it on your card!" She flew back into the Royal Carriage, as Discord put his shades back on and jumped in as well. The duo flew off, to a better breakfast.

Celestia looked around, making sure that no pony was around. She grabbed an entire cake from the pantry and prepared to go back to her room. She decided to take one look at her flank, and she grimaced.

"Curse you, Discord.",

Author's Note:

This was based off of a true story I had when I got my permit. A few weeks ago. Me and my older brother really wanted some pancakes, so Hilarity Insued.

This is just a one-shot, but I hoped you liked it! Live long and Eat pancakes!

Comments ( 21 )

4156181 Thanks! Glad some people like my really stupid ideas turned into fan fictions.

Awesome, saying I'm a pancake person myself!

4156310 Not to start a breakfast war or anything, but... PANCAKES ARE BETTER THAN WAFFLES! Ahem, uh, just my preference. ^_^

:derpyderp1: OH BOY 3am

4156338 You support the evil Pancake King and his dictatorship? I'm with Shaun Delequatious Kumquats Zecombabwe III and the Waffle Union!

(That's a thing in my school. I just had to say it. :twilightsheepish:)

P.S. Shaun Delequatious Kumquats Zecombabwe III is a REAL PERSON!!! XD

Haven't read the story yet but I love your bio:yay:

4156466 Well, of course i support the Pancake King. After all, he IS MY BROTHER!!! (Duh Duh Duh!)

I am Lord Johnathan M. Buttersworth, ruler of the Maple Syrup Empire! Without my shipments, neither side shall reach full power! Muhahaha!

4156644 :rainbowlaugh: This may be the best funny oneshot I've ever read.

4156338 look, I like pancakes better. Ps, on my states baseball team, there is a person called Joey pankake

Thumb up and a fav because I know exactly what it's like to crave pancakes in the middle of the day.:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

DiscoLuna is best brotp.

4156644 :pinkiegasp: Well, the Waffle Union has a secret weapon!!! :ajsmug:

4182024 What? Impossible! I suppose I shall assemble my "secret weapons" as well. This. Means. War!!!! Uh, but just for reference, tell me your secret weapon first. :)

4182176 Shaun Delequatious trusted me with this secret. I will not squeal to the enemy!

i know what the weapon is. WHIPPED CREAM!

im hungry 4 pancakes now! :rainbowlaugh:lol!

4218401 Then my job here is done. ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY BREAKFAST FOODS! :)

Awesome story! I've been laughing the entire time!

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