• Member Since 21st Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 27th, 2014

mareinthemoon


E

For Rarity her fashion is everything, and after working hard for years shes finally become popular in Canterlot high society only to find her work being used for petty joke gifts among the socialites in the big city.
Rarity finds herself on the edge of insanity and glory as the plan begins to form in her head to be forever immortalized, She will need all of her style,sass, accessories and of course her favorite shoes to make the perfect dress to win them over

But the big city is not without its own nightlife and its own secrets
she soon finds that she is going to be a big part of it whether she wants to or not

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 34 )

please spend more time on it, it is incredibly rushed

As a huge Remilia Scarlet fan I couldn't not try to read it, but the almost constant grammatical errors make it unreadable for me. Shouldn't be hard to fix—put spaces after your punctuation, re-read your sentences, etc. I want to read this, so I hope you'll fix it and maybe let me know when you do?

I am very interested in this story. I look forward to reading more :heart:

OH GOD, YOU READ MY MIND.:pinkiegasp:
HOW DARE YOU???? I was going to write that!!! :twilightangry2:
Whatever, great story, though it feels a little rushed don't you think? Why don't you re-do the chapter and make things more detailed and longer, then you will surely get thousands of followers! :rainbowkiss:
Great story, bro! :pinkiehappy:

Chapter one has been edited and slightly lengthened, It should read mush smoother now and have more description:raritywink:

365694

In the story shes refered to as a night angel....well we all know otherwise :trixieshiftright:

Definitely getting interesting, although near end during story part I find that you lost the rhythm. I was literally able to follow it to a rhythm until I hit that sentence, it threw it off for me.
Not bad though so I'm still looking forward to reading more.

367408

Thankyou for the comment, upon re reading I did find out that the last line really did break up the flow of the story and should be used to propel the story into chapter 3.

Reviews make my stories change a bit here and there but they make them.... Fabulous :raritystarry:

remember if you don't tell me it wont improve!!!

awsome backstory to the angel of the moon thing..way to go ..i hope this isnt a sort of prank or joke on rarity that would be harsh..if it isnt then oh well all hail the powerful rarity.

chapter 3 update is now up :D

And I am looking for a good proof reader/ editor for when I re- release this fic.

Yes I did put Trixie in the character list and god am I happy I did!!!:trixieshiftright:

But I would love to make this story even better so A good editor/ proof reader would take this fic from good to epic
Please pm me if you are interested :raritywink: Her highness is depending on you :raritystarry:

well the chpter coulld be longer a bit. aside from that you cast trixie as the villan way to go...aside from that a really good chapter.

372180

Allright I will keep that in mind for sure for chapter 4 and im glad everyone likes this story so much considering I wrote it on a whim and the one I thought about alot has like...40 views XD crazy how it works:raritystarry:

But thanks to comments I am able to make this story even better:duck:

this story will be re-released in a remastered edition withen comming weeks look out for it. it will be packed with riveting details and fanciful storyline :raritywink:

Zoom!

Bystander 1: What the hell was that?!

Bystander 2: That would be the plot.

Plot Police: Pull over! You're going far past the speed limit!

Translation for this little skit: Sloooooooow down! Personally I'd split this into two chapters and flesh them out a bit more to get rid of the rushed feeling.

448950

Im currently re-doing this story to rectify the issues. Its being edited and remastered and will be re-released hopefuly soon

" I'm back Spitfire."
" Such incredible style! Such fanciness , So refined.. So dignified.. Its absolutely amazing I must find the designer!!!"
" Its perfect!! so very pretty!!"
" All in good time Lady Rarity, all in good time.."
" I just wanted to help."

See anything wrong that these quotations have in common that's wrong?

There's no space in between a starting quotation mark and the letter of the first word.

"It's supposed to look like this." Spitfire pointed out.

448963 Ah. That'd be nice. The story is certainly an interesting idea, it's the execution that holding it up by just a little bit.

448991
I know now the problems in my writing and it is steadily getting better on its own, I am in the process of finding a permanent editor for my stories so I wont have this problem again. I know grammar issues take away from the overall story as do text walls and formatting.

And I want my readers to be happy with what I create and sense it got such a good reception when it was written badly I am sure the reviews will be better once its at full potential

Better than the last two chapters over all. I was kinda hoping the vampony hunter to be someone completely unexpected. Trixie seems like an odd choice considering she's so egocentric, not too mention she an antagonist alot of the time on stories.

So before i read this i already checked and theirs no Spike in the first 3 chapters, is he even gona get a decent roll in this or is he gona be given like 5 lines and be entirely useless and in no way importent and then i'll be sad cause i read this hopeing for a little Sparity and if nothing else some bad assery from Spike. Its still a intresting concept but it'll probly be tossed on the read later list if his importence is going to be equal to a real episode where he writes the friendship report and thats it.

509196

this fic is currently being re done and do not worry spike will play a very very important role in this. the romance tag is there for a reason :raritywink:
look forward to the re release filled with better writing and the vampony rarity

509610 Sounds good i sha'll await it!

Cuiosity does demand that i ask when you expect to have the rewrite up

yeah, i understand it's a little late to say this at this point but this chapter is fairly rushed.

Yes, :ajsleepy: Krushnazag a naughty pony :fluttercry:

make sure you toss up a blog post or something to alert us all when your done with the revisions cause i find myself really really wanting to read this but i'd rather read it at its best :raritywink:

525346
mmhm I will release blog posts when the remastered edition comes out:raritywink: so all my peoples can know. also if you like horror please read Nightdreams and Daymares...its 17k of horror goodness

526297 Meh i just tend to like stories where Spike is actually impotent plus the fact this has vampires is nice since the abomination that is Twilight border line ruined um for me :ajbemused:

Can't wait for the remastered edition. This story has a lot of potential.
I like Alicorn!Mane six stories, though it looks like only Rarity gets the upgrade in this fic. It'd be really awesome, though, if they all did.
Hey, Celestia and Luna know this has happened, right? So are they going to get around to talking to her about it?

540768
Ill release a blog post for when the remastered is going through moderation:pinkiehappy: and yes, I saw alot of alicorn mane six stories and I figured whats better than that? vamponies!!!:raritywink:

544465 so hows this coming alone (I need a excuse to not be writing my own shit :twilightblush: other then Diablo 3)? Remastered ver soon, please? :fluttercry:

this fic is being re done for the betterment of pony kind. re released chap 1 will be released by weeks end. it will not be disappointing I assure you

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