Never be ashamed of your scars they are proof that you were stronger then whatever tried to kill you
Thanks go to Bronytastic for pre-reading this.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 21st Feb, 2014
- offline last seen 15 hours ago
RaylanKrios
It is a good and noble thing to tell a good story.
RaylanKrios
Joined 21st Feb, 2014 ·
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hmm.... it's not bad; a downer maybe but, decent
i like it, and think its a good idea to go on a couple more chapters
Left me feeling there was a lot of story missing...
WHY NO MORE,?????
4163991 the reason that there is no more is that I really like this as a one shot. I could write another two chapters dealing with the aftermath and the how the mane six process the whole thing but I'm not so sure that's all that interesting of a story.
4165813
Whale I see what your saying.....
Flutter-die will make me cry and make me mindless, at the loss of kindness.
Great story. I for one am glad you left it at a one shot.
Could have used some closer editing, but the story itself was solid. I also agree with you; this sort of thing works much better as a one-shot than an extended story. Keeping it short and sweet, so to speak, keeps its potency.
4644336 yeah this was one of my earlier works that I a.) didn't have an editor on and b.) was worse then I am now about some of the rules. But glad you liked it anyway.
I had an idea like this, and I'm glad I don't have to write it now because someone already did it justice.
I love the casual way this is dropped in. Other writers would probably make a big deal about - GASP - one lifeform eating another in happy pony land.
It never feels overwrought or mawkish, and I think you did both characters justice.
I've said this to people so many times.
Wish there was more I could say, but it felt real, which is the highest praise I can offer you.
Did Rarity intentionally leave traces of blood as a reminder to not go back there to Fluttershy? Seems a bad idea if she did. I find it hard to believe it would stain even the grout that badly. Probably neither of those, just you taking poetic license.
7045086 Well depending on the tile and grout in question it could be porous enough to make scrubbing a blood stain out difficult, especially if it had a few days to set. But you're right it's mostly poetic licence.
7047692
Good to have that cleared up!