• Member Since 10th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen June 4th

BlackSkulls


Hello! I'm just here to mainly read stories and favorite them, but occasionally I do write.

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Source

Culture shock is the personal disorientation a person may feel when experiencing an unfamiliar way of life due to immigration or a visit to a new country, a move between social environments, or simply travel to another type of life.

Golden Delicious is a simple pony. The son of Applejack and Caramel, his destiny in life had already been decided for him: To be an apple farmer just like his mother, just like nearly every other pony in the Apple clan. But he's happy with his life. Life in Ponyville was simple, fun, and happy. So just what happens when two mares from Manehatten who have a different view come to visit?

A story with Kilala97's character's with her permission. Golden Delicious and Red June belong to her.
Inky Melody and Staged Gallery are my ponies.
Read the other stories in Kilala97's AU here.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 24 )

Well that was interesting. I like to see a little unpleasantness in the cultural explorations of Equestria. Adds a tang of realism. Well done. :raritywink:

This is a great fanfic, but I noticed a typo,
"But honestly, being he son of one of the elements, being the friends of the other elements--who are their own crazy characters in their own right--is something exciting." "he" is actually supposed to be "the".

Other than that, great job! :pinkiehappy:

4000995
Oh man, thank you so much for catching that! I have a nasty habit of "reading over" my typos if they're only missing like one letter. :twilightblush:

To start off, the narration switches from past to present tense quite a bit which can be rather distracting. Also, it was mentioned that one of the twins had freckles as a distinguishing feature, but it's never said which, so I mentally kept switching, though I eventually decided to imagine the musician as having freckles just because I imagine it would make more sense than an actress having what might be seen as "blemishes." On that note, I also wasn't sure who was saying what at times, so it might be a good idea to indicate such more clearly. Del's musings on being more than a farm pony are interesting, and I really wish more would have been done with that rather than just having him drop it after the twins get humiliated. I did like the interaction with the twins, as well, as they provided an interesting foil for Del. Overall, this was an okay fic, and with a little revision could be rather good.

"Now you know how how Golden Delicious left.

Extra how.

"And what about you? I'm sure Uncle Mac and Aunt Cherri isn't gonna like you out at night either."

I thought Mac married Fluttershy in this AU.

4001549 Nope, Big Mac married Cheerilee and Kilala couldn't ship Fluttershy with anypony

Good job! This is your first foray into kilala-based work, correct? Very promising.

cute but not enough character development. you gave us two characters. no insight to who they were other than their names and telents. no backstory. no nothing. you didn't even tell us who their mother was. just that they were from manehatten.

it's ,just that, cute.

4001452
I'll keep that in mind! I really wasn't intending this to be anything more than a one-shot, and sort of an experiment if I could use another person's characters and keep them accurate as possible, and see if I can write anything other than romance, heh. But I'll look it over when I have time and see if I can make any revisions, even have a couple of my friends look at it.

4001549
Thank you for catching that. And yeah, in Kilala's AU Big Mac married Cheerilee.
Edit: After fixing this, I noticed I wrote "left" instead of "felt". Whoops!

4001756
The twins were, more or less, two possible offspring of my OC Plume. And I suppose that was kind of the point, with just saying their names and talents. They were just two ponies visiting Ponyville, and I tried to get their personalities to show through their expressions and their words. Now, whether or not I did that...well. I created the twins specifically for this story--though honestly I am thinking of keeping them.

I'd like to thank everyone who favorited and commented :pinkiehappy: You're all wonderful! And I do promise to go over this again and see if I can upload a revised copy. But I'd like to say some things:

-Inky and Staged are the potential daughters of my OC Plume, whom I have written a story on. I did have an Ask tumblr for her, but that has been more or less retired for a couple years now. The father is just some random pony I thought would have no bearing on the story other than to state how "cultured" the twins are.

-I'll have to make it clear in the revision, but the one with freckles is Inky.

-I tried to make less-important details...less important. Like who the mother was going to visit. Since it had no bearing on the plot, I didn't think it was important to state who she was going to visit, just the fact that she was visiting someone.

When I revise this I'll update it and give the date when the revision was uploaded. Thank you all for the nice comments, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. :twilightsmile:

4001963 i'm new here. i know NO OC named plume. if you'd have explained it. i'd have known. i don't follow ANYONE's stories specifically so you'd have to EXPLAIN it. thank you

4002354
Well it would have been in bad form to explain it in mid-story, but I suppose I could have also put it in the story description. But you're welcome, and I'm sorry. :twilightblush:

I am pretty sure pony dragon hybrids are called draconies

4013063
Are they? To be honest Kilala's characters were the first fleshed out dragon/pony hybrids I've encountered, and I don't actually recall her giving them any specific name.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong.

Overall this was a good story, the plot was well done, and its also the first time we get to see Red June! (assuming this is her first time, have not read all of the available stories). I loved how some can relate with Golden's situation in some aspects. The only thing I would have liked to see was why they were there to begin with, who was the friend? but thats only a nit-pick and its not really important, Bico beat me to the review punch so abide by his comment. Keep on truckin! :yay:

4013888 I saw a story on the front page a while back that called Spike and Rarity's daughter a dracony. There was a picture too. Do you want me to find it for you?

4017574

Yes please! Though, was it for Kilala's AU or was it just in general?

4017809 Yes. It says it is.
The story I was referring to was Light Away the Fear by FictionFreek, but if you search dracony on the site's search bar, other stories come up as well.

4019981
I see. Thank you for correcting me! I've changed "pony/dragon hybrids" to "draconies" in the story. :twilightsmile:

4002250
Hmm...before reading that comment, I would have thought the twins' mother to perhaps be Coco Pommel (don't know how to spell Pommel sorry), due to their appearance, also that they come from Manehattan and that their mother's friend could potentially be Rarity. Then I had a look at Bitter Tea, and I can see how Plume could be their mother.

But I'm curious...did anyone spot this too?

5366294

Well Plume is their mother, haha. I made Plume way back during...late season one, early season two, I wanna say? But way before the existence of Coco. But I understand how that mistake can be easily made.

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