• Member Since 13th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Punsz


E
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A short story with the two Sparity siblings (Crystal Clarity and Turquoise Blitz). Claire with a master plan, and T the perfect scapegoat. Just a silly short story based off the cover picture. Enjoy.

Cover art belongs to Kilala97.
Crystal Clarity&Turquoise Blitz Belong to Kilala97.
Check out her amazing work here.http://kilala97.deviantart.com/

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

Nice. That was great. I loved how the Fabric was in her Fangs. Good luck with future stories.

Missing a few commas, but other that, it's an okay read. :pinkiehappy:

4755072 oh OK thanks for letting me know i'll fix those later glad u enjoyed it!

A few spelling and grammar errors, but too cute!

4755529 alright thanks for saying I'll double check it later.

Haha, I've been waiting for a short story for that picture, good luck on future stories

This was an excellent read. there were some commas that needed to be placed in the story, for 'clarity'.

The only typographical error I saw was

Following the sound of humming into the kitchen I saw a white money with the her mane tied into a small bun.

I assume that this was supposed to be 'mommy', or Claire really only sees her mom as a way to get stuff for free, and she is too young to have those kind of thoughts yet... :scootangel:

Overall, great story and addition to my favorites list

I've read a lot of stories that are based solely on a picture. Some of them just don't work. This is definitely not the case. You have written a cute little story. It was very good, aside from some spelling errors.

5131992 Thanks and yeah got some errors in there and stuff prob will rewrite....when I got the time

Ahh the best laid plans... the never survive for long.

Very cute story

I noticed quite a few writing errors, it's always a good idea to come back every few days and read a story to see what errors you can spot, and later correct.

Hehehe that was hilarious.I give you five stars.:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh:

You know exactly how siblings act!(I have a little brother and when I was younger I do something like Claire)
This is very funny!
Good work!

So cute and funny. Job well done

That was adorable!

Some of the grammatical errors temporarily ruin the feel of the story, but they are not that strong most of the time. This was cute, and funny; and the timing was good 'cause the story was well rounded and it waited for the big reveal at the end - as well as just HOW Rarity caught her daughter lying! Amazing job! :3 :heart:

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