• Member Since 13th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Punsz


E
Source

A short story with the two Sparity siblings (Crystal Clarity and Turquoise Blitz). Claire with a master plan, and T the perfect scapegoat. Just a silly short story based off the cover picture. Enjoy.

Cover art belongs to Kilala97.
Crystal Clarity&Turquoise Blitz Belong to Kilala97.
Check out her amazing work here.http://kilala97.deviantart.com/

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 17 )

Nice. That was great. I loved how the Fabric was in her Fangs. Good luck with future stories.

Missing a few commas, but other that, it's an okay read. :pinkiehappy:

4755072 oh OK thanks for letting me know i'll fix those later glad u enjoyed it!

A few spelling and grammar errors, but too cute!

4755529 alright thanks for saying I'll double check it later.

Haha, I've been waiting for a short story for that picture, good luck on future stories

I'm not sure it's a good idea for a mother to leave her two children home alone, even for an hour. :unsuresweetie:

This was an excellent read. there were some commas that needed to be placed in the story, for 'clarity'.

The only typographical error I saw was

Following the sound of humming into the kitchen I saw a white money with the her mane tied into a small bun.

I assume that this was supposed to be 'mommy', or Claire really only sees her mom as a way to get stuff for free, and she is too young to have those kind of thoughts yet... :scootangel:

Overall, great story and addition to my favorites list

I've read a lot of stories that are based solely on a picture. Some of them just don't work. This is definitely not the case. You have written a cute little story. It was very good, aside from some spelling errors.

5131992 Thanks and yeah got some errors in there and stuff prob will rewrite....when I got the time

Ahh the best laid plans... the never survive for long.

Very cute story

I noticed quite a few writing errors, it's always a good idea to come back every few days and read a story to see what errors you can spot, and later correct.

Hehehe that was hilarious.I give you five stars.:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh:

You know exactly how siblings act!(I have a little brother and when I was younger I do something like Claire)
This is very funny!
Good work!

So cute and funny. Job well done

Lol I knew what I was going to read once I saw the picture:twilightsmile:

That was adorable!

Some of the grammatical errors temporarily ruin the feel of the story, but they are not that strong most of the time. This was cute, and funny; and the timing was good 'cause the story was well rounded and it waited for the big reveal at the end - as well as just HOW Rarity caught her daughter lying! Amazing job! :3 :heart:

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!