Scootaloo was enjoying a jaunty stroll through the park when she happened to look up and see that the sky was blue. This may not seem like something she would note, but the sky wasn’t blue because that’s how it was normally. The sky was blue because there were hundreds of thousands of ‘things’ covering it. Scootaloo took a moment to appreciate this fact, slowly letting out a sigh, realizing that any minute now all hell was going to break loose, and then she continued on with her walk.
She counted down from ten in her head. By the time she reached one, ponies were running this way and that, screaming their heads off and flailing their limbs wildly. Scootaloo figured it was only a matter of time until either the town was in shambles, or a particularly large cloud of bugs swept her off her hooves and carried her somewhere far away. She wasn’t too concerned with which happened first.
Casually strolling along through the debris-strewn streets, and past hordes of screaming ponies, Scootaloo started to notice the bugs were ignoring her. They’d fly up, swarm around her a bit, and then disappear.
“Huh…” she mused aloud. “Guess I must be lucky or something.”
Just then, she heard a sound from behind her. She turned around and saw a pink mare headed towards her with a tuba on her back. She spotted Scootaloo spotting her, and waved her hoof, hurrying over to her as quickly as her legs could carry her.
She skidded to a halt in front of Scootaloo, grinning widely. “Hey! Can you play the tuba?”
Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. “Uhh… Why?”
The mare giggled, took the tuba off her back, and shoved it into Scootaloo’s hooves. “Silly goose, why isn’t an answer. Here, just take this and play it. I need you to help me with these parasprites.”
“Para-what?” said Scootaloo, examining her newly-gained instrument.
The mare waved her hoof at a passing cloud of bugs. “Those guys,” she said. “We gotta stop them before they eat everything.”
“And the tuba is useful because?”
She giggled again. “You just gotta trust me on this one, okay?”
Scootaloo frowned. “I’m not sure I do.”
“Just play the tuba and I’ll take care of everything else.”
“I don’t know how to play it,” said Scootaloo, looking at the utterly incomprehensible amalgamation of metal in her hooves. It looked like it’d been designed for an entirely different species, and there was no easy way to hold it.
“Oh, that’s easy,” said the mare. She pointed at a small mouthpiece near the back of the instrument. “You just put your lips on that and blow real hard. It’ll make a funny sound!”
Scootaloo eyed the mouthpiece suspiciously. “Well, if you say so. Here goes… I guess.”
Puckering up her lips, Scootaloo put her mouth around the tuba like it was meeting her after school on the playground after it told her it had a crush on her. She sucked in her breath, and started to blow as hard as she could. Well, she would’ve started to blow if sucking in all that air hadn’t also caused her to suck in a swarm of the parasprites that happened to be passing by.
She dropped the tuba, flailing around as the parasprites filled her mouth and started swarming all over her face. It was hard to tell what she was saying since her mouth was stuffed with bugs, but to the carefully-trained ear, it was clear that she was screaming: “Aaaah! Not the parasprites! Aaaah! They’re all in my eyes! Aaaah!” Which, really, wasn’t all that surprising of a thing to say given the circumstances.
As the mare watched Scootaloo slowly choking to death on the multi-colored bugs filling her throat, she jumped around on her tip-toes, unable to think of anything to do to help her. So, instead, she just watched in horror as the little filly’s eyes rolled back in her head, her flailing stopped, and then she fell to the ground. Before she could even begin to mourn, the bugs went into a frenzy, and mere seconds later Scootaloo’s body was naught but a pile of bones, laid out like the after-dinner leavings of some giant monster (or a bunch of little ones).
Looking over Scootaloo’s fallen body, the mare sighed. She bent down, picked up the tuba, and said, “Well, I guess this wasn’t your lucky day. Tu-bad for you!” Giggling, she trotted off into the distance, tuba strapped haphazardly to her back.
You have earned yet another wat.
-Missy
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I just realized you aren't going to be able to do the whole series, or even the whole season. It's been fun, but it's starting to get old and predictable. This whole story is based on a single gag, accompanied occasionally by a tiny handful of side jokes. It's impressive that you've been able to make it last even this long.
4050494
That sounds like a challenge.
4050507 You'll have to come up with more material. Make it less predictable. Maybe even have a few times where she only almost dies. If you can just make it through Season 1, that'll be good enough for me.
I had an idea. If you do make it through Season 1, perhaps make future seasons feature a different CMC die a lot instead. Maybe even have them take turns so there's no way of knowing which of them (if any) will actually meet their untimely (and temporary) demise.
4050494 If you ask me, 10 hardly counts as a bunch.
blogs.wickedlocal.com/brookline/files/2012/03/not_the_bees.jpg
4050624
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Why do you keep making my love for you fucking rise!
4050507
I hope that counts as "challenge accepted". I still want to see more. plus, i am practicing my dramatic reading, by reading these chapters to my offline friends.
"It's Scootaloo, sir! She's been switched from 'blow' to 'suck'!"
I'm not one for scootabuse but.... why do I keep coming back and wait for more
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I was also hoping for a "How'd it get Burned?!"... but okay.
4050507 Fuckin' do it.
I like how much of a good sport she is about dying.
4051030 BEES! NOT THE BEES!
I'm pretty sure everyone saw this coming.
Damnit, who let Pinkie grow extra body parts?!
4051502
The hoof is basically a single giant toenail, so in a sense they're always going around on tiptoes. ... Sort of. Vaguely.
Funny. I watched the parasprite episode just before I saw this.
4050867 you found the gif!
Pinky is an as
4050507 DO IT!
4050541 I said it was "starting to" get old. It's still good so far. Being told the same joke over and over gets boring after a while.
Or maybe the last chapter was simply a flop. Every episodic series has episodes (or in this case, chapters) that are less entertaining than others.
I am not surprised in the least that you did this one.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Technically, she didn't have a tuba. She had a sousaphone. The only actual tuba yet seen in MLP was the one played by Cheese Sandwich's mouse.
o-o
LOL
4050507 Go for it
NO NOT THE PARASPITES, NOT THE PARASPITES AAAAAHHHHHGGGGHHHHH!!!!
Scootaloo is best Kenny
Faved and saved
I found that ending kinda' dark
4058847
...I will now listen to everything you say and preach its truth.
So I guess parasprites like chicken then.
quick question, what is she blowing on?
4051502
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The pasterns and the coffin bone are what non-horsey folks would call the toe bones.
How Pinkie is standing with the tip of her toe pointed straight into the ground is another matter entirely.
My god...that was SO Lopunny of you. Yet still funny
4060443
What if Scootaloo is Kenny who accidentallly went to Equestria and got turned into a female pony, that's why she can't die. Because she IS Kenny.
4050972 You know, between the title of the chapter and the episode it correlates to, I was expecting the Wicker Man references from the instant I started reading. However, that Spaceballs joke was so out of left field and yet so perfect. Continue being awesome.
Oh man, Nicholas Cage is the best Scootaloo.
giggity
Have a metal.
These puns are gonna kill me.
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BOO!
somehow this reminded me of that crazy game "no time to explain".
the character you are trying to rescue keeps yelling crazy pained screams, and one of them is "my ribs are in my eyes! THEY'RE IN MY EYES!"