Afterword, And Acknowledgements
There's a lot of folks I want to thank, but I'm sorry to say that I don't know all of their names, since they're all you, the readers, all 1000+ of you, who've read this story, upvoted it, faved it, and decided to follow me to see what I do next. This was my first attempt at a story, and I am so glad to see it take off like it has.
To answer some questions: Yes, I do plan on a sequel, after I complete the "Inter-quel" I have in progress. Yes, the link to the interquel is in the story description. Feel free to read it if you haven't already. The sequel should be interesting, but that's for a ways down the line, and a lot of stuff in it may not make sense unless you read the interquel as well, so feel free to read both, and re-read them. And comment. And upvote. And follow. And anything else you think might contribute. I ADORE FANART, SO FEEL FREE TO MAKE ME SOME!!!
Finally, I do plan on submitting this story to Equestria Daily in a little while. I hadn't done so yet because I didn't realize you had to do it yourself. I just figured that stories kinda just appeared there by magic. I'm naive like that.
ANYWAYS!!! Thank you for reading this story. I said it before, and I will say it again: I LOVE YOU ALL AS MUCH AS A RANDOM PERSON ON THE INTERNET CAN LOVE A LARGE NUMBER OF RANDOM PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET!!!
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BEAUTIFUL SPEECH!!!
WE WILL MAKE ALL THE FANARTS!!! No seriously I want to draw something. I'll just read your story again and again until I find the scene that strikes my artist chords.
For future reference, this is exactly what tagged blog posts are for. You can make a blog post, tag it with a story it's relevant to, and anyone who favorited the story will get a notification. Chapters are for story content.
3736758 Referenced for future reference... OF THE FUTURE!!! Sorry, I'm coming off an author's high. I just wrote a 4,000 word chapter without realizing it was that long until I posted it. I just gave you guys 9/10s of my saturday... and enjoyed every second of it
. But I won't post a chapter tomorrow, I think. I may submit to Equestria Daily tomorrow, though, now that this story has cover art, minimalistic as it is.
3736745
.
Recommendation: The scene where Cricket is in his apartment, a bunch of carrots in his mouth, a knapsack under one foreleg, and his pet bunny, wearing a daredevil helmet, under the other, and he's just about to spring off. Whenever I picture that in my head, I can't help but laugh about it. I did some crazy stuff in chapter two, when, partway through, I realized I could throw physics out the window while writing a fanwork for a kids show
I think EQD has a minimum chapter length of 3,000 words.
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Multiparters have a 3,000 word total submission minimum. Single chapter stories have a minimum of 2,500. Had this remained a single chapter submission, it wouldn't fly, but it can now.
After multiple attempts and bad experiences, I've basically given up on ever getting anything on EQD. It's not worth the hassles.
3738431 Ah, thanks for straightening that out for me.
I completed submission to Equestria Daily. We shall see what becomes of it.
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Changelings can fly AND climb walls. You'd think that gravity would know better than to argue at this point.
this is what tagged story blogs are for. specifically so this does not happen.
I really like this ,especially the part with Dash. My only thing is that you should remove the romance tag, because there was barely even mild flirting, let alone romance. If there's more in the sequel, then add the tag to that story. Other than that, I loved it!
I loved the dress-down he gave Rainbow Dash! That was brilliant and, honestly, pretty much EXACTLY how I could see her reacting, both to the random changeling and to the CO effect XD
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! I mean, I can picture her trying to say something, anything, that would be flirting, then blushing like crazy before she can even get a word out.
Flirting? From Fluttershy? Pfffft, hahahaha! I'm gonna have to put that into the sequel. I mean, the shyest of the shy, trying to flirt with Cricket. That is just ridiculously adorable
As for why the romance tag? Simple: For someone as awkwardly adorable as Fluttershy, you can't get too hot and heavy too quickly: nobody would believe it would match what the character actually do in the show. It is, however, the start of a budding romance.
Awwww, and the random people on the internet love you too.
In the words of Spock, "Fascinating!"
AND I LOVE YOU, RANDOM CITIZEN
Bunny Wunny/Angel OTP! It's gotta happen!
Also, I have come to the conclusion that mole crickets exist solely to prove that there is no merciful God.
That thing makes my scissors-tailed, metal-shelled, three-lobed-clawed, steak-knife-nosed scorpion thing from a horror story I wrote look like he isn't even trying.
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Yeah, the Mole Cricket looks like the Duck Billed Platypus of the insect world: it's like someone wanted to make a bug, but kept changing their mind on the design partway through.
But there are freakier creatures, like Barry here, who eats coral, fish hooks, and specially made traps that were intended to catch him, and possesses a sting that results in permanent numbness. The world is full of creatures that are just plain freaky.
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Yeah, but Barry looks like standard Lovecraftian weird shit.
That mole cricket looks like somebody built it for the express purpose of wrong.
3746299 ah ok
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Because the situation was so absurd. And it wasn't quite the verbal equivalent of The Stare, although it comes close: Every commanding officer (or at least, every good one) has the ability to make their recruits hop to the task the instant they give an order, without the recruit stopping to think about what's going on. In the words of "Mad" Jack Churchill: "I maintain that, as long as you tell a German loudly and clearly what to do, if you are senior to him he will cry "Jawohl" (Yes Sir) and get on with it enthusiastically and efficiently whatever the situation." Translation: Regardless of rank, age, nationality, language barriers, or even species, a commanding officer can get a lower ranked officer up and moving with just their voice. It isn't a natural ability like Fluttershy's, but rather a skill honed by years of command. It only works on other soldiers, though.
I'm excited for the sequel, this was enjoyable.
Also, don't bother submitting to EqD. They honestly have no idea how to judge fanfiction properly. The way they allow fanfictions to be submitted is extremely inconsistent, and they also make up incredibly silly reasons to deny fics.
3746461 Not gonna lie, I would totally have that as an adorable pet if not for the permanent numbness stingers part.
I loved this story! It was that rare length of "long-shot": Longer than those 1,200 word one shots, but shorter than those stories that innevitably drag themselves out to 19,000 words long or more (That's how long the sequel is? Well this is awkward.
). But, I did find some errors that need addressing if you hope to pass the gauntlet that is EQD!
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Well, it's entirely possible to drown someone in cocoa, so no.
I just love you for the term "everybuggy"
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The idea just never occurred to them.
This story was adorable! Thank you for writing!
Well that was a nice quick read. I enjoyed it immensely.
Wait! This is your first!?
olivethepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/applause-gif.gif
Wow this is your FIRST!? Wow, I'm writing my first, but I'm not sure it can equal to this. I NEEDS DAH HELP ON MAH FANFIC!!! But seriously. It can't compare.
Wait, first story?
*Clicks follow button*
Well, I like it. I really like it. Two thumbs up, good writer!
ok i only have a second before the other custodians find me hidden in my reading closet ( us custodians know all the best hidey holes ) so quick comment.HOLY GOD THIS WAS AWESOME!!!!!
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What about Mrs Bunny-Bunny? Sounds redundant, yet strangely adorable.
Pretty darn good this. Keep it up!
Decent enough story, but the pacing felt a little off. It seemed very much like the affection between the two was just flipping from one binary state to the other without any buildup. Maybe if another chapter or two had focused on them bonding it would have been a bit better. Just a bit of hopefully constructive criticism to keep in mind for next time.
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In the air, yes, because the shadow you cast is very hard to see while in flight. On the ground, however, the shadow cast is much easier to see, and if your adversary can see it, and knows which way the sun is, they know where you're coming from, and can move out of the way. A sneak attack should mean that you're already unseen, so you don't need the sun to hide you, and it might, in fact, give your target a moment's warning before you strike.
Interesting... I do enjoy reading a story from a different point of view though Cricket's character seemed a bit all over the place. If you do write a sequel, I suggest developing and fine tuning Cricket's character more. At the moment he's sort of two-dimensional.
However I'll give this a fav and a thumbs up for a good read.
3777931 He meant air to gound attack, you are talking about air-air combat, which is correct.
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I'm not even going to repeat myself:
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Yes, it is a thing that happens, even in real life.
That ending ling...so moving..."AS MUCH AS A RANDOM PERSON ON THE INTERNET CAN LOVE A LARGE NUMBER OF RANDOM PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET"...poetry! Just...poetry!
Will look into the other fanfics.
3807827 *eyenarrows* They got to you too, I see.
I must kill them all... yes... nopony can be trusted. They're all against me...
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if you liked this story read the witch, the bug, and the airhead by bucking nonsense
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Ah, before you judge the character too harshly, I recommend going over to Tales Of The Cricket-Verse, and reading "The Cooking Lesson". His exceptional skills came at a pretty hefty price. He may very well be the embodiment of the trope "Sacrificed Basics Skills For Awesome Training".
Aww! We love you too!!!!
And also I can't wait for the next instalment on this story... Or Sequil..> this one is amazing! I'll have to check and see what all you have done thus far I cannot wait to see what happens next!
I really enjoyed reading this fic and love it I can see mole cricket has a very interesting past and I what to see how the hes relationship with fluttershy developed!!!!!