• Member Since 13th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 12 minutes ago

8chill


Not much to say at the moment. Just trying my hand at writing fiction. Admittedly, I'm not very good but I'll try at least once.

T

There are three distinct moments of time. One is the present, a constant menagerie of ever-changing conditions, where all life live and act. Another is the future, full of uncertainty and possibility; in which speculation and imagination exists . Finally, there is the past, set, unchanging; from where remembrance and recollection occurs. To simplify: one can only hope for the future, live in the present, and recall the past.
But what if one could do the impossible? Something so unbelievable that it shouldn't even be feasible.......


To grab history by the reigns.

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 178 )

Happy to take the blame for this :pinkiehappy: really good so far! Keep this up!

315339

Any areas in need of improvement thus far?
I believe dialogue is at least one of the things I need to improve on. I'm looking to see where my weak points are so that I can correct them. Don't want to get to far in; only to find out I royally jacked something up.:rainbowwild:

Thanks for checking it out! I appreciate it.

~8chill

Story and idea's are amazing! Only suggestion would be, more means less in dialogue. Leave things unsaid and your audience fills the gaps in themselves, bringing them closer to characters when they realise how they feel. :pinkiesmile: or at least thats how i do it:rainbowlaugh: but you have brill story skills and i cannot see where you take this!

This...could be good. Still a little early to tell but I'll follow this in case it doesn't turn out like 90% of the "outsider-in-equestria" fics.

316291
I was trying to balance out just how much I should describe or leave vague. Don't want to bore with excessive descriptions or confuse with a lack of them. But, I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

Thanks for the feedback!

~8chill

316312
I'll try not to disappoint.

Thanks for reading!

~8chill

316677

I can hope :rainbowlaugh:.

While I have your attention I have a little pet peeve of mine and have to ask now. Will Carl be able to communicate with the ponies straight ahead? So many people hand-wave away the language barrier but it's such an opportunity and hate to see people pass it up.

316714 you may like the side prject I'm working on then :raritywink:
BIIIIIIIIIG theme in my next story, working on it atm along side my last of my first series. Give it a look when it comes up, You may like it :pinkiehappy:

316748

Heh, don't hold out much hope for me. The longer I read fanfics in a particular fandom the more picky I get and I've noticed getting way pickier as of late.

316813 :rainbowlaugh: I see! Well page is always open if you're bored and looking to kill time :)

316714
That issue will come up soon enough but you'll have to wait and see.:trollestia:

~8chill

Pokemon references?
Yes, please.

nice pokemon reference

325202
I try to throw references in just about every chapter.:raritywink:

325204
Glad you liked them. If you know where they come from you might find more.:pinkiehappy:

~8chill

Are there any grammar mistakes? Punctuation errors? Stiff dialogue?

I'm trying to learn to be a better writer so any constructive help or tips will be appreciated.:scootangel:

Thanks in advance.

~8chill

I aint that great at picking up grammar stuff really :derpytongue2:
I LOVE Heatwave! Seriously got a character I enjoy reading there budd! Looking foward to the next one :pinkiehappy:
Had to actually re-read the refference through sheer laughter at the fact I actually got it!

326895

Glad you enjoyed.:rainbowlaugh:

There's actually three references in this chapter: The professor, the effect, and the last line. :moustache:

I try to make it interesting to those that pay attention.

Thanks for reading and I hope this satisfied your 'professor troubles'.:trollestia:

~8chill

326961 :pinkiesick: urrrrggghhhh bad times man!
was good to come back and chill out to read all my tracking updates :pinkiesmile:
check my page in about an hour man if your interested in something new. not a new chapter :rainbowlaugh: not till 9:00 but may interest you :twilightsmile:

I like how all the people tracking my story have better writing skills than me. Good job 8chill!

342784

What!? You read my story!? When? How? What is going on?:flutterrage:
What do you mean have better skills? All I'm trying to do is right a decent story. If anything your story and your skills far surpass mine.:rainbowderp:

Well what did you think of it? I'm currently writing chapter four now. I could use any feedback you are willing to give.

~8chill

342802

You couldn't keep it a secret from me forever. :trollestia: I just had to stalk your profile to see what you were up to. And that is nonsense! You are a good writer, and I'd be happy to give you some feedback :twilightsmile: I love your story, by the way. Thumbs up all the way!

lol at the end there bro/sis/whatever it is you are
this is pretty good stuff

346301
I'm a bro. :moustache:

Glad you enjoy.

~8chill

I like the way you use your form of language for the ponies, and I expect to see more soon... Don't disappoint me Mr.Bond.

346653

Mr. Bond? James Bond or Gold Bond?

Thanks for reading.

~8chill

HELLO! my name is chavi and
I lost a bet and now I have to advertise someone so here you go
GO CHECK OUT THIS STORY !!!
NOW!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage:
its pretty damn good too

While I am quite happy that you did a good length chapter for a change I have to say this is probably your weakest one yet. Lots of moments that made me go "huh?"

----
"Hey did you here that?" one of the patrolling guards spoke.

"Here what?" asked the other pony.
----

You missed "hear" twice.

----
I had did.
---

Ok I tried not to laugh, I really did. I failed though :rainbowlaugh:

378182

Yes! This was what I needed. Anything else in particular that stood out as problematic?

I'm fixing the errors now.

~8chill

378204

I'll PM you the parts I find troubling, no need to spam up comments with my incessant whining. :raritydespair:

378212

I appreciate it all the same.:heart:

Thanks in advance.

~8chill

"So like any other student in school that knows testing would occur I chose Option B. I was confident that this was the best solution to this current predicament.
So....
I bolted."
One of those memorable lines! Really did stick with me the entire time i read this chapter! :L
Love the way you made the ponies sound so foriegn to the character man!
Looks like I can't use that idea anymore! :raritywink: that was a little thing I had been working on almost word for word! so naturally i will say THIS IS AWESOME!

Really well done, and sorry i haven't commented in a while :applejackunsure:

378979

Believe me I know the feeling.:ajbemused:
I read a couple of stories that were using some of the ideas I planned on using. Just got to ignore them and give us your take on it. I'm sure it would be awesome. You got to remember that it was partly your story that inspired mine.:twilightblush:

Also did you guess the references?:unsuresweetie:

Thanks for reading!

~8chill

379044 only got the metal gear solid one with the box, what others were there? :derpytongue2:

379649

Metal gear solid had three references.
The box obviously.
The guard yelling "Shut up in there will ya?"
Psycho Mantis saying " Yes. That's it. Good girl. Just like that."

Sonic adventure had one reference.
E-102 Beta: No data found. Location unknown. This presents a problem.

Those were the ones I put in this chapter. But you may not have ever played or heard those lines from those games.

I wonder if I got at least a chuckle out of anyone.

~8chill

If I may make a suggestion, try adding more detail to your writing. Adding more detail really helps alot of readers to picture things better. And no offense but, I found this to be lacking some.

383510

Thanks for the feedback! This was just what I was looking for, comments to help improve my writing.

This chapter was sort of a test to see if I could make a long enough chapter and have just the right balance of detail.

Seems I failed on one of those fronts though.:twilightblush:

But don't worry I'll be going through it and 'fixing' the chapter. The chapter will have 'revised' next to the name when finished.

Any other suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

~8chill

Hey bud, "rock and a wet place" CLASSIC!:pinkiehappy:
Im terrible at proof reading only thing I noticed was 'i had did it" should it be 'i had done it' ? 'tis the only grammar fault i saw.
Story wise: *ahem* ...... DID I NOT TELL YOU THAT WRITING YOUR OWN STORY WOULD BE GOOD?!?!?! I told you that you had great ideas! And this chapter (now revised) shows it spectacularly! WELL DONE!
:pinkiehappy:

I must say this is honestly one of the better HiE fics.
Why? Because:
1. The protagonist doesn't know crap about ponies (I just enjoy it when the main characters have to learn everything about the new world they woke up in)
2. Your writing is a lot more interesting than a bunch of others I have read. (Let's just say it is leagues above 14 year old fan-boy writing)
3. He got flash frozen in a crystalline substance (Most others are just death, teleportation, or random dimensional rifts)
4. They treat him like an exciting primitive specimen from the past and not like a friend (I find yours to be a much more realistic approach)
5. The box scene did it for me >>

HA!
you made me remember the whole
'TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHERFUCKER!!'
and I loled
but thats besides the point
this story is pretty good
and both chuck norris and bruce lee aprove of it
mycitybynight.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/chuck_norris_approved.jpg
gifsforum.com/images/gif/approval/grand/BRUCE-LEE-APPROVES-GIF.gif
be happy:ajbemused:

452919

Happiness acquired.:pinkiehappy:
Glad to give you a laugh. Thanks for reading.:pinkiesmile:

~8chill

another brilliant chapter! loved the way you made Luna talk, really awesome! And I like how you change from third to first person throughout this story, really refreshing idea. Want next one now! Please :raritystarry:

454960

I'm getting back into the swing of things, so next one should be out sometime today.

At least, if nothing happens to complicate matters.:raritywink:

Thanks as always.

~8chill

454965 no problem :pinkiehappy: missing your comments on my tales buddy :fluttercry: but that'l be cool, go to this party, back by 7 write some more of my own, read your next chapter. pretty good day ahead of me now :rainbowkiss:

454976

I was trying hard not to read other good fics or else I might get even more discouraged.
This was my attempt at trying to focus. Worry not I'll be back.:trixieshiftright:

~8chill

more, more
moar, MOAR!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

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