• Published 27th Oct 2013
  • 12,568 Views, 201 Comments

They grow up so fast "literally" - zootxjanice



When Twilight accidentally transforms Spike into a 16 year old dragon, she's not sure if she wants the original one back.

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The end...right?

Twilight's eyes slowly opened as she noticed that her bed was still empty.

"Hmm, Spike must already be up." Twilight then saddened at her thought, but she sighed and got up. She picked out a dark and light stripe purple sweater with two black spaghetti straps, and blue jeans from her closet. Slowly she walked to the bathroom to straighten out her hair and brush her teeth, afterwards she walked down into the kitchen to a surprising sight. A tall figure was turned around in a familiar black and white hoodie. "S-spike?" She asked hesitantly. The figure turned around to reveal that it was indeed Spike.

"Hello Twilight." He said warmly.

"W-what are you doing like that? I thought you were gonna have Zecora turn you back to normal!" She said semi excitedly.

"Well, on my way to her hut, I had some dragon thinking time. I couldn't bare the thought of leaving you like this, and I realized that I loved that kiss we shared, and I wanna have a million more." He said as he slowly walked closer to Twilight.

"Are...are you saying...?" She asked before being interrupted.

"Twilight...I love you." He said before wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her in for a kiss. Twilight shed a small tear as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She slowly pulled away, leaving him slightly rejected.

"Will you do me a quick favor and bring the journal down?" She asked with eyes that Spike couldn't say 'no' to. In a flash, he ran upstairs and came back down with the mane six's journal and a pencil.

"Fire away." He said preparing to write.

"Dear Diary, this week I learned that you shouldn't be afraid of anypony's reaction, or in this case any dragon's. Because of my actions, I wound up in a bad spot with my friend, but things resolved once I admitted my feelings for him, because I wasn't afraid anymore. Sincerely, Twilight Sparkle."

"Spaaarkle. Got it!" He said closing the journal. Then a creak came from the front door.

"Anypony here?" Called a southern voice.

"Oh hey Applejack. What's up?" Twilight asked walking into the main lobby.

"Me and Applejack and Rainbow dash and Fluttershy were gonna go get some breakfast! You guys wanna come? Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya?!" Pinkie pie asked hopping.

"That sound nice girls, but me and Spike have some 'studying' to catch up on." Twilight said tugging on Spike's hood with her index finger. (Sound familiar?) She then let it slip off her finger and walked upstairs.

"Um yeah. Gotta get learn about sexy swirl the bearded. I-I mean Star swirl the beautiful...books. See you guys later!" He said running up the stairs after her.

"Well he sure seemed in a hurry just to read." Pinkie pie said oblivious. Applejack rolled her eyes with a smile.

"Hey, you know what they say, 'they grow up so fast.'"

"Literally!" Pinkie added as she closed the door behind her.

THE END

Author's Note:

Yes I am aware that it is Saturday. Well there it is, the final chapter. I know it's not very long, but it had to end somehow, and just in time for my holiday vacation from school. My special thanks to SW for being my editor will make sense when I repost his edited version of chapters one and two, and maybe the others if he feels like it. So anyway, thanks for all the support, it was my first story, and I'm pretty proud of it, so you can count on a second story in the distant future, but for now, happy Hearth's warming everypony!

Comments ( 52 )

Great ending!!! I'll be here for your next story. Until then happy holidays.

@zootxjanice...

1. Well, in the overall, it was not "bad"...but nor was it particularly "good," either.

2. The positive is that your story did try to show some emotional drama, both between Spike and Twilight Sparkle.

3. The big negative, was your detrimentally low word-count(s).
~ a. Low word-counts shows lackluster effort by the Author, and warns the reader that there is not much to invest in for reader interest.
~ b. Low word-counts also, by their very nature, lack descriptive finesse necessary for any literary work, but especially for Romance stories.
~ c. You are mostly just shoving out scenes rather than telling a story. Even "trashy" Romance novels have to be vivid, if not lurid, in descriptive details and emotional depiction.

4. You did well for writing with the 3000+ word chapters, but were heavily dragged down by the 600-or-less chapters.

5. If you ever do more literary writing, and not just fan-fiction work, I would advise trying to average a minimum of 2000+ words per chapter (if not more), and work your way up from there. You have a solid story premise and Romance angle, just need to balance and improve your writing with a hale & hearty word-count across the board.

6. Alternatively, you can also go back and add more literary "meat" onto this fan-fiction. Always remember: It is NEVER "too late" to go back and revise, refine, edit, add-on, or even completely overhaul your fan-fiction work for the better.

Good ending, but you probably could have extended the story a bit longer to de how serious twilight and spike get in their relationship.

great ending! :moustache:

Riz

Who is the strange person/pony that spied on them in the previous chaps ?

3660683 Again, we'll just have to find out in the next story.

Great end to a great story,
Thank you, and Happy holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::heart::heart::moustache:

I have to say in most of the stories I've read this has been one of my favorite. Thank you so much and please make many, many more stories like these. Happy Hearth's warming!

Great story. A little short, but great nonetheless. I hope you make many more great stories like this.

lol i can say this story could have more detail 2 it but it is a great story none the less

Short and sweet, loved every paragraph of it.

sexy swirl the bearded i almost died of laughter:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Oh my god. This was the best thing ever. You sir have earned yourself a watch!

3714479 Ooh! Can it have Rainbow dash's cutie mark in the center? Cause I swear to Celestia, if her cutie mark isn't in it I will have a rage, like Fluttershy when the Mane-iac hurt that firefly. Man, what an episode. :rainbowlaugh:

3716798 Well, I prefer Twilight's to be honest...
Oh... They're called follows here. Not like Deviantart I see... This gives me an idea; I kinda want to start an account called slender man just so I can follow people and have it say "Slender Man is following you."

Back to rationality, you're commentary was priceless! You're like a real life Pinkie Pie. Don't you ever change!

3718534 Don't worry I won't, but that slender man idea, now that's an idea that's so smart, my head would explode if I even began to know what you were talking about. "Family guy" season 3, episode 7, "Lethal weapons" sick!

3718623 Oh god! I about died when I saw that Family Guy reference in the story! :rainbowlaugh:
Can't wait to see more stories from you. I have a feeling your writing is going to do quite well. :twilightsheepish:

3718732 Oh wow, thanks! Truth be told, I have to wait until after "Pinkie apple Pie" airs before I can write my next story. Cause I can't write an Applejack X Pinkie pie story if they're related. :twilightoops: I said too much, I said too much! :raritycry:

3718893 Yeah, I wouldn't put two ships in one story... Odds of finding readers who like one ship is high, both of them is kinda low. Though in all seriousness, I hope to see more Spilight from you, you brilliant bastard you!

3718968 Alright same with you, you funny bastard...or bitch? Sorry, I don't know your gender. :twilightblush:

3719028 Bastard thank you. :twilightsmile:
And I wouldn't recommend calling girls a bitch even in a joking manor. They have a tendency to flip shit about that kind of thing...

3719072 Boy you said it. I can never figure out where people get off using those kinds of labels, but I guess no matter how you look at it, people are terrible with words.

3719191 Reactions as well. You say the wrong thing as a joke, and it's your ass.

3719268 Hung on a mantle above the fireplace. Man, I can already see Mr. Krabs sipping tea, satisfied in his chair. God, what an awful show. :ajbemused:

3719359 Boy, you could not tell by this conversation that it all started with me earning a watch, huh?

3719383 ... And Slender Man, don't forget that! :derpytongue2:

3719459 Ah, good old fashioned derpiness. :eeyup:

Never did like how so many people make Pinkie clueless but to each their own, at any rate this came out of the left feild and smacked all the readers upside the head leaving us confused as buck, or maybe it's just me. Why did he not at least go and tell Zecora that he wanted to stay grown? So many questions so little time, not the best ending but it was ok:facehoof:

3742504 Okay, first of all, Pinkie is fourteen in my canon, that's why she was clueless about Twilight's innuendo. Second of all, Spike did make it to Zecora's and tell her that he wanted to stay "grown", I just didn't put that in the story because it would've spoiled the ending. So my point is, if you're confused about my writing, then by all means, ask me questions about it, but don't pretend you're doing it for other reader's benefits, because now that I think about it, I think it probably was just you who was confused as buck.

3743569 I was not aware of such, I am sorry. And perhaps you are right, I,would suggest being a little more clear on your next story we do not know how you written certain things my friend and little advice, I would suggest not taking comments so seriously, people are going to not like your story that is life and I would suggest you accept such, I'm not your enemy, I just tell it like it is.

3743670 Tell it like it is? The fact that you had to speak for all the readers on this site means that you lack the skills to criticize me yourself. You even said that people would not like my story, and I already knew that! I mean, if I didn't know that, then I wouldn't have even written at all. So don't you dare tell me that, "this came out of the left feild and smacked all the readers upside the head leaving us confused as buck", because frankly, they can tell me themselves.

Couldn't resist the title drop could you :ajbemused: but honestly nice read, would've enjoyed seeing a slower version that would go over the course of several months and Spike getting used to his new form as well as mares possibly being all over him? but I amnot the author of this story here so yeah ^^

Nice reference to the cover art you chose. All in all, great story.

welp, even though this fic's chappies were sometimes a lil short for my taste :ajbemused:; over all it turned out to be nicely done story :twilightsmile:. So, thx for t sweet ride n' maybe i'll see ya again in future projects :raritywink:

nice job including the title into the story

Damm I reconizzed that sentrnce

4914447
I'll drink to that.

4788693 that cover picture is actually from the last page of a comic named "Private Lesson" by LECHE.

5849571 To be fair, with regard to the age of consent; For Austria, Germany, Portugal and Italy it is 14, and in France, the Czech Republic, Denmark, and Greece it is 15.

That's in Europe, don't get me started on Nigeria. (Its 11)

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