• Member Since 4th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 9th, 2016

XineLegacy


An aspiring author and experienced amateur critic. A Brony since 2011. Picky about OOC characters.

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Comments ( 48 )

Dawww... wait, why is this humanized?

3604520 I just felt it worked better that way.

That ending. :rainbowlaugh:

Um, shouldn't the tag be Anthro and not Human? :rainbowhuh:

3604649 They're human. Mostly. They're not pony or dragon enough to be anthro. They look completely human, except for Spike's fangs.

Okay, That ending was funny. And I love how Spike was messing with Twilight to get the truth.

.... I ship it :ajsmug: Great short story! That ending though :rainbowlaugh::heart:

Ahhh, TwiSpike, truly one of my more preferred ships :pinkiehappy:

So I had to stop myself after spike went to bed and such cuz that escalatwd too damn quicly and seriously who says I love you and just walks away like something unremarkable happened are they even planning on going steady or just being friends with benefits. If it was the latter it be more beleovable but even than it makes milk sour.

3604542...

It was "all right" for overall quality.

However...I would not call this a short-story as much as a single scene in part of a story. This plays out more like a snippet than a story in of itself.

Generally speaking, the allure of Spike & Twilight (portmanteau'x make my eyes twitch) Romance stories come from changing feelings from the very solid foundation of the pair's long-time relationship. It is hard not to love Romance stories of "the one who was always there" themes, but that also generally means you need a longer tale to tell rather than a snippet or a short-story.

For the most part, I would have rather seen a scene like this in your (currently) main fan-fiction of Aged Scales, sans humanization of course.

3606213 Nothing sexual is implied to happen in this story...

3606240 What you say is true. To make a pairing like this truly believable, you've gotta have a solid background. But when it comes to one-shots, an author has imply previous build up, and the rest is meant to be enjoyed. This one-shot is not a developed story by any means, but then again it wasn't meant to be. I'll try to write a fully developed Spilight story in the future, but for now I just write these short snippets to satisfy my shipping urges.

very nice ::pinkiehappy: the world needs more Splight :moustache::heart::twilightsmile:
any chance for more? :unsuresweetie:

A nice, funny little blurb that could easily stay on it's own or become a larger story (Probably a romantic comedy of Spike easing and tricking Twilight into finally accepting his romantic advances or doing things outside of a schedule, or something like that).

But, as I said, it also works as it's own little blurb.

This thing hit the popular stories box, guys! Thanks for reading!:pinkiehappy:
3606594 These little one-shots will be common, some of them even being Rainbowspike, Flutterspike etc., but I don't think this particular one will have a sequel. Unless it's requested by many, that is.

Short, concise, easy to understand. I like it.

Good, short, cute story, I could see matured Spike acting like this. My only gripe is...why was this humanized at all? Wasn't necessary imo but that's your story and not mine :twilightsmile: You have more than deserved an up vote from me :twilightsmile:

What was the last line supposed to be? DID I JUST- I don't know what she means by that. Did she just what?

I love it.....................................
Simple as that
:heart::heart::heart::heart:

3606434...

1. Fair enough. Sometimes it is good to vent out ideas you have swimming around in your head in written form.

2. And yes, having a solid relationship foundation is an very important storytelling tool for "the one who was always there" Romance stories. This is why Spike & Twilight Sparkle as well as Fluttershy & Rainbow Dash 'ship stories are (statistically) the most popular pairings; this is followed by the "opposites attract" Romance stories of Applejack & Rarity or Rainbow Dash & Twilight Sparkle.

3. I look forward to seeing what kind of dedicated Spike & Twilight Romance fan-fiction you will write.

Though, now that you have said what you said in your reply, I think you just spoiled Aged Scales a bit for me, since it probably means Spike will not wind up with Twilight Sparkle amid the "harem" cast :facehoof: (but I can forgive you for it, as long as it means you will write a dedicated Spike & Twilight Romance story later... :moustache: ).

3606434

I just write these short snippets to satisfy my shipping urges

Then why did you decide to use a character that doesn't resemble Spike in the slightest, and instead talks and acts like on the douchebags you'll see in shows like Jersey Shore? :rainbowhuh:
I'm sorry. But this Spike feels compleately like an OC to me. That's why a bit of background is always necessary. Even for one shot stories.

If not for the tags and the first couple of paragraphs, I'd never have guessed this story is humanized.

3608598 It kinda deals with a more matured Spike. Given the way he behaves in the show, I think that it would be reasonable enough to suggest that a human version of him of the same age (based on the generally acceptable theory that dragons mature slower than ponies) would behave this way.:moustache:
But you can never please 'em all I guess; you're entitled to your own opinion. :twilightsmile:

3610241 The more reason why a bit of exposition and background is important so the audience can understand the author's approach on certain characters.
And I really wan't to belive that by 'Mature', you were trying to say 'Older'. Cuz they are not the same.

3607773
Yeah I'm going to have to go with you. What just happened? :rainbowhuh:

3610441 True. But this was a one-shot; Just a little snippet written for fun that was meant to be enjoyed for what it was. I completely understand that character build-up is important. I guess the relative lack of it was probably the reason for most of those 16 dislikes, but once again keep in mind that this was a one-shot.
I know matured and older have different meanings. I used the word 'mature' on purpose.

3608487 Nothing about Aged Scales was implied there at all, because Aged Scales isn't a straight-up shipfic.

That was freaking awesome. would be a very intresting that ended with a clop scene

3608598
I have to agree.

Twilight tells Spike to leave her alone three times, to which he responds with a request to "make out". When she responds in the negative, he escalates with physical contact. Twilight physically pushes Spike away and tells him three times to stop. Spike's response is emotional blackmail, followed by a non-consensual kiss! This is outright sexual harassment, and in some cases could be construed as sexual assault.

I get that this was supposed to be playful teasing and/or flirting by Spike to get Twilight to admit that she has feelings for him; but to be honest this story reads as creepy and out-of-character Spike to me.

Also, as is my wont, have a typo correction:

"You're being adsurd absurd, Spike!"

How is this not tagged Comedy? Is there a limit or something?

3611128
Maximum of five tags, I believe. But this only has three, so I dunno what's up.

3611107 When it comes to a matured Spike, there's many different interpretations on how his character would develop, because it can really be inconsistent in the sho.If you don't like what I've done wih him here, I can respect that, but I think most people would agree that his wouldn't be too far off. He's shown to have a sense of wit and at times is cocky in the show. I think this was a good representation of how that part of his character would develop, but as I said to Rennes before, you're entitled to your own opinion.
3611128 3611193 If y'all think it should be tagged comedy, I'll tag it comedy. Just PM me, and if I get two or more requests to do so, I'll tag it comedy.

3610787 Then you really should do a bit of research on the differences between older and mature.

I never said the characters are bad in a technical sense. Nor that the story isn't good. But the way it is executed makes me feel Spike is not only way too out of character, but also that he is downright being mean to Twilight.
Yes Spike is cocky and selfish at times in the show. But most of the time he is a 'Genteldrake'. Just a bit of time to explain why did he become like this could have done wonders for the story.
But even so I did enjoyed it. Good luke with the next one.

That was good! About time they got that out and in the open.:moustache::twilightblush:

So, if I would think of what they looked like, I guess it would be something like the "Equestria Girls" movie but with Spike being a human too, huh? ...Don't like humanized that much, but I can work with that. Good work! :trollestia:
Spilight! The realist shipping in this show!:moustache::twilightblush:

Reads like a trashy romance novel.:pinkiegasp:

I like trashy romance novels.:pinkiehappy:

3613234 I know the difference between older and more mature. I use mature here because Spike is pretty much the same age here as he is in the show. But as. Human of his age, he is more matured than he would be as a dragon of the same age (going with the generally agreeable assumption that ponies and humans mature faster than dragons, as dragons live for much longer).
Anyway, I hope that my next attempt will be more pleasing to your eye. :raritywink:
Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

This one-shot was great. I liked exactly how it went and it really put a smile to my face. A simple romance and one is in denial, even after the facts are in her face. That's Twilight for you. Confiscate with reasoning she cannot and tries not to understand; love. Very nice. :moustache: :heart: :twilightsmile:

10 out of 10 for romance
10 out of 10 for slice of life
8 out of 10 for comedy
10 out of 10 for grammar
10 out of 10 for overall story
A fav and a like your way! And a moustache :moustache:

Comment posted by XineLegacy deleted Jan 4th, 2014

3732248 Wow...Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :pinkiehappy:

At the end...Was Twilight complaining about the paper or what?
Reference: "DID I JUST-!"

3734919 It's actually open to your own interpretation...I put it there because I different people would percieve it in different ways.

K I got to admit I LOVE THAT lol. I laughed so hard when he said Let's make out :pinkiehappy: To be honest i would love to read more about this aggressive Spike and see him toy with Twi alittle more.:twilightblush::moustache:

4756236
Meh, it's unlikely. This was really just a quick one-shot. Do stay tuned for other Spilight one-shots though!:twilightsmile:

Hehe... Tsundere Twilight, that's cute :twilightsmile:

5930927 Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.

yes you did say it

Resistance is Futile

Are we the Borg now?

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