Coda: A Display at Cavelbridge University
Just inside the entrance of the Daring Do Wing of the History Department’s Hippological Studies section, there is a large glass display case. It rests in the center of a wide rotunda, the walls of which are decorated with tasteful portraits of the wing’s namesake at various points in her career. The later ones, depicting her as professor or department head, are generally subdued, portraying her alongside an open book, or artifact dredged up from her years of travel.
It is the earlier portraits that seem to draw the most attention from students. They show a young mare, dressed in a field jacket and helmet, often bandaged, crawling through a ruin or jungle, or deep beneath the earth, torch held high in her teeth. The paintings carry an abstract quality to them, as though based on their subject’s legendarily fanciful memories. Still, they are colorful and attract the eye.
The display case in the center of the rotunda is lit from all sides by a series of spotlights placed upon the walls. Within are dozens of priceless artifacts – the Sapphire Stone, the Golden Compass of Arlah, a small glass hummingbird – arrayed on a series of tiers, and each with a tiny slip of paper noting the date of its creation, where it was found, and the conditions of its discovery. Most of these items are rotated out on a regular basis and sent to museums around the world, many of which have their own collections in Daring Do’s name.
At the highest point inside the display case there is a single item that has never moved. It is a simple graphite sketch, drawn on what appears to be a scrap of paper torn from a field notebook. It has smeared in places, been stained by water, and what looks like a drop of blood in the bottom corner provides the only dot of color.
It is a drawing of a simple brass lantern, remarkable in no way. A small note beneath it says nothing about its date of creation, where it was found, or the conditions of its discovery. Instead, it is hoof written, and signed by Daring herself.
I could not bring Cinnabar’s lantern back from Lith. I pity anyone who tries. But I did discover a wonder in those catacombs, something that belonged to me, something I hadn’t realized I’d lost. I reclaimed it, and I brought it home, and it is the greatest treasure I have ever found. -DD, 986 CE
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Okay then...
Huh.
Nice.
Wasn't actually expecting a coda.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Honestly glad that you brought a bit of closure to it.
Though... Am I to assume that they survived? It's a little unclear as some of it seems almost like a... memorial. Judging by what was written on that note, I'd say they got home alive but I cannot help but be a little unsure.
I didn't really need the closure – adventurers never die in their own Adventure stories, or it would be a Tragedy, instead – but it's a sweet sentiment.
3373851
The existence of the note itself, written by her after the fact, is a pretty solid indication of the answer you're looking for...
3374209
That's what I thought as well, but when it is explained what it looks like... It almost feels like it's a memorial.
3374215 I agree, it does have a little bit of that feel to it, but the question of that is really "Is she dead now?" and not "Did she die trying to save her 'greatest treasure'".
3374232
I hope it's that she is still alive, and not a fast forward 'till when her days have passed
Surprisingly, it doesn't undermine the story. :) Nicely done.
:V
Well I liked it.
D'awwww. How sweet.
Wow. Just wow. While I personally preferred the original ending, I guess the coda is nice for those who wanted a more concrete ending. FANTASTIC work on this story overall. The level of detail was incredible, but without becoming bogged down or overly prosaic. God I love this story!
And the whole thing with the lantern revealing things was pretty awesome. (Reminded me of the water monster sequence from Amnesia: The Dark Descent.) But it makes me wonder, if the lantern isn't lit, are the apparitions still there and merely invisible? Or do they cease to be as soon as the light goes out?
The world may never know.
Well that was just beautiful.
I think the story benefitted much more from this ending. Great story.
Your killing me. You made a Daring Do story. No, you made one of the best Daring Do stories out there. The picture it crafted in the minds eye was nothing short of spectacular. Everything else has already been said by others, so great work, hope to see more of your work soon.
This was overall a pretty good story! Not quite amazing, but better than average, at least. I personally didn't feel quite as drawn into it as I feel like I should have, and at no point in the story can I say my heart was set racing in fear or disturbance for our characters; and even the unsolved mystery of the catacombs and Cinnabar the Mad doesn't really leave me itching for answers.
In spite of that, though, this was still an enjoyable from start to finish, and I liked the twist of Fossil being Daring's father. Like JohnPerry said in his comment, I didn't make even the slightest connection until it was hinted it after the sequence in the big, dark hall. Well done in that respect. And as a fellow sucker for happy endings, I greatly appreciate you putting in this epilogue for closure's sake!
All in all, nicely done!
And the coda made it even better, at least for me.
This was an amazingly done work of fiction, but I can't shake the feeling that this could have been done slightly better by leaving an air of mystery to it, but it's your story, not mine. You write what you want and how you want, and I will enjoy it either way.
Damnit CIG! I want to be mad that this wasn't a Salvation update, but it was just too damn beautiful!
Seriously, though, I absolutely love your writing. I have thoroughly enjoyed every story of yours that I've had the pleasure of reading, and this one was no exception. Another thing I love about your writing is your stories aren't predictable (at least not to me), which is a really good thing. I can predict how too many stories end, both on this site and actual published, non-pony related stuff. But not you, man. I love it!
This story is amazing!
It scared me but it's sweet. 
How do you do that? Great work.
I read "Reading Room #36" and your story now and yours is not so scary like that one.
The ghosts are a threat, definitely, but they only appear or get decoyed when the lantern is lit and so, it's clear that they only try to protect the lantern, not harm anyone that get's into this catacombs.
Like an additional trap.
Also, it seems that they are slow and that you can avoid them easily.
If we look at that, the bigger threat in this catacombs is more the simple fact that they are trapped there, without food, without anything to drink (or maybe they have some proviant, but probably not enough for a long time) and injured, without a clue where the exit is and if there is an exit.
That makes the story more adventurous, than horrific.
That doesn't mean the story in general is bad.
It's a good adventure story, it's just not a good horror story, like it should be for that contest.
But it has still scary elements of course, and the design of the ghosts is outstanding.
They are something between a classical ghost, that is just a white nebula in the air, and Slendermane.
That is a mixture that works perfect, giving you two different moments of fright, when they appear for the first and when they appear, better described, for the second time.
Also, the ending of this story, letting the coda aside, is genius!
"Into the light" can be read in two ways.
I don't want to spoil the meaning, and left that open for everypony that wants to figure it out for itself, but, this has two different meanings and gives the end a touch of horror.
The coda here destroys this a bit, I would love the story more without it, but it still has something compelling.
It has a memorial feeling like Daring Do died a long time ago, when this is set, and that the treasures she found are kept in this university, to keep her memory alive.
Good touch of feelings at the end!
Congratulations to the 1st place!
realy liked this one CiG :)
while i agree whit most people here on the coments, i take it your aim was the characterization of both daring and fosil, insted of the whole spooky thing.
by the by, the mechanics of the lantern ticled my fancy, i would like to read something like that again
and i saw what you did there whit the "glass hummingbird" lol
and also, thanks for sharing your stories man!
Creepy coolness
I would love to learn more about the lantern and what those ghost-like creatures were.
nice ending
3400919
What I think you are missing is that this story is not about the lantern, the tomb, or the ghosts. It's about a daughter and her estranged father coming back together as a family, everything else is window dressing. The story is complete because, at the end, Daring's relationship is resolved.
4185637
:D
You have no idea how nice it is to read that. It means I was at least somewhat successful.
I mean, DeftFunk is right too, to want to see how the ending plays out. But sadly, this just wasn't that story. That story is still out there somewhere.
I dunno how to feel about this. On the one hand, having this chapter, and it's attendant perspective, I don't think the core story needs it. On the other hand, not having this, I'm not sure I would have "got it". Like one of those "it's obvious once you see it" puzzles.
I could sus out a lot about about DD/FF's relationship, but for some reason I'm not going to/not going to write it down.
Naturally, I'd love to know more about Cinnabar's Lantern (I'm imagining it kinda like the Lens of Truth from Ocarina of Time), but as you say this is not the place for it. This isn't an adventure story, really. It's a relationship story dressed up as an adventure story.
At the end I thought you were going to have her dad not be real, just a creation by the lantern.
Huh. I missed the second chapter when I first read this, and it was only after I went back through the tabs I'd left open to thumbs-up/favourite a few that I noticed it even had one. I'm still unsure whether it really needed it.
To me, the ambiguity of what I can only assume to be the original ending is better left unresolved; as you said in reply to several of the commenters on the first chapter, the story is inherently about the character of Daring and the Professor, and the circumstances of their escape, if indeed they managed one, were secondary to the realization that Daring was willing to risk her life, Fossil willing to give his, to save the other. Whether they succeeded in doing so was, and is, not as important to the story as their decisions to do so.
So, not to be too harsh on the chapter, as I know some people prefer what they feel to be a proper resolution, but I feel a proper resolution was already in place simply by the decisions made in the original chapter, regardless of the outcome of those decisions.
Damn, I got chills from this. Not so much from the "horror" aspects, but from Daring's resolution with Fossil. Wonderful story. You have yet to disappoint me in anything I've read from you! Thanks for another great story.
Have another fave!
You made smile bigger!
3375250
Hmm? What of the bird?
7817146
See also The Glassblower. :B
7817283
Yesss
Is good, I enjoy that it has that little Cavite to its end, as it sort of leaves the story closed. I see how it could also be said that the story was already finished as well though, and I must say that ending is beautiful.
It goes without saying that the story was well written. Great job r
I enjoyed this immensely and I'm glad my random wanderings led me to it. Not sure why a comedy story linked to this but I'm glad it did. I don't normally even read stories like this let alone stories that don't involve Twilight... Glad I gave this a chance, it definitely made it to my favorites.
My heart broke when she called him the other title. That explains so much! I enjoyed this, but now I wonder about the story of those down there.
Great read. Absolutely wonderful. The most frightening things are when you don't know all the answers and the way you played with something as simple yet chilling as inexplicable apparitions was excellent.
Not sure what people were expecting when they say things like "ehh its okay" and "wasnt drawn in;" people expecting NY Times bestsellers on here or something