Three mares have a problem. A particularly hot problem. The whole day, heat has been building up inside of them. They need a release.
Twilight is about to provide them their much needed release.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 16th Jan, 2013
- offline last seen Oct 2nd, 2017
Amante
Tell me, have you ever wondered if...
Amante
Joined 16th Jan, 2013 ·
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Good one. You had me going for a while, didn't hit me what was going on, until about the end of Twi's.
I knew it was a pool from the end of the Twilight part xD but still brilliant idea :D
Oh, thank God!
Yes, you had me going there 
, no, it didn't quite turn me on, I'm glad I didn't just run into another clopfic, because that didn't end well the last time it happened... 
I didn't see the punchline coming. Kinda. I thought it was gonna be a fan, an air conditioning (somehow) And/or Ice cream.
DAT ENDING. I am so disappointed with myself for thinking such things XD
Knew what was going on as things progressed, and saw the tags used. No real surprise there for me but brilliant none the less because you apparently succeeded in making people think it was dirtier than it was. Congrats.
3313187 You know, judging from the view to likes ratio, I'd like to think it's so imbalanced because those people who came here searching for exactly that, didn't find it. But since it wasn't a bad story by any stretch, it doesn't really give them any reason to downvote it either.
It's a pool, isn't it?
3341209 Shhhhhh.... It's a surprise
I FUCKING KNEW IT
Well done. Only made it to Twi's section before realizing what was really going on, though.
I'd fap to it . . .
For real though, I came on to this story after having just read the piece about Overdone Cliche, and so I kind of already knew what I was probably getting in to at the start of things. That's not to say I didn't still enjoy it enough to warrant a spot on my fav. list and athumbs up. It was still a good story.
Grammar seems to be good as far as I can tell, flow of the story seemed to be appropriate, and I'd say overall pacing and portrayel of the three characters involved was well-done. My biggest complaint, and it almost seems unfair to say it, and I hardly count it against the story, is the subtlety of the whole thing. Very early the hints as to what was actually happening seemed to be treading the line between teasing and starting to become obvious. Yet I don't fault you for it, really. There are likely many people who had been looking for clop caught off-guard by this material. That and one must consider the story I had read just prior to this, and the subject matter in question for the story.
In summary, it was a very well-done story even if a certain strengthening to the veil of subtlety might be added, and I look forward to perhaps reading more like it.
3365197 Thank you for that, and to be honest the subtlety in certain parts was meant to be obvious. A few of the comments say they figured it out by the end of Twilight's part and indeed it was meant to give it away. I mean seriously, 'inflate' would really not be used as a word for... one of those things.
Done in the same way that Overdone's inconsistent memories were partly parody and a clue that he was insane.
Amusing, admittedly I was trying to figure out what the hell Twilight had done for pretty much the whole fic. Nicely done lol
I figured out pretty quick what was actually going on, but I also saw the other meaning. Not bad.