Shouldn't he still be sore from last night?

And then I notice that the diary section got messed up from copy pasting it from words to here

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Lyra's body is used to harsh play though! I should have probably considered that though... oh well

Not much clop?

Though in all seriousness, I wonder how Bon Bon will take to learning that her lover has been swapped with a human?
Hell, I am interested in the inevitable emotional fallout that will occur once shit goes to pieces.
Something like a Bon Bon comforting a thoroughly devastated human turned Lyra Heartstrings would be most especially heartwarming, whispering sweet nothings in her ear that everything will be a-ok. And perhaps a moment of danger that will prove to the human on how her loyalty and love to Bon Bon will cement itself fully for all eternity. Such as some unruly stallions assaulting Bon Bon, triggering a berserk rage moment if you will.

Next time I’ll put a chain on you and yank it to really make you holler.

That would be very sexy.

I really enjoyed this chapter. Bear with me, I couldn't help but snag on all these errors.

You need to get out of here and fast, because the more time spend here, is more time for the real Lyra to do some undoable damage in your body!

Fundamentally, this sentence is trying to go in several different directions. Perhaps some revision is required. "You need to get out of here fast, because more time spent here is more time for the real Lyra to do irreparable damage to your body!" is a good alternative. Undoable means it can in and of itself be repaired.

A squitting model?

Squat toilet. Also, what kind of Japanese cartoons are you watching?

nurse Redheart or doctor Stable.

In these instances, doctor and nurse are titles and therefore part of a proper noun. Nurse Redheart and Doctor Stable.

You can see it slowly opening, and as you peak inside

Peek. Peaks are for breasts, mountains, and mountainous breasts.

Half an hour has passed before you get to the final book, but this one proofs

'Half an hour passed' does not match the verb tense of the rest of the chapter. This whole paragraph really. Also, proves.

I traveled to Canterlot today to find some ancient books on old folkslore.

Just folklore.

she’d lash out on me.

At, not on.

She actually thinks I’m cheating on her, me off all ponies?

Of, not off.

First thing firsts

First thing's first.

vehicles drove past us that then ran away

That they ran away.

Sadly however, since I’m up all night, Ii has started to take its toll on me, and many a time I find myself exhausted during the day, and forced to sleep then, meaning I got no drive to do anything else, that includes playing my music or making bits. In a way it saddens me that my old lyre Is going unused, but I got more pressing matters to handle and Bon Bon her candy’s, as well as her helping out at the Cakes at times means that we got enough money to support us both.

Break up into smaller sentences. 'it has started...' 'her candies' Also, you greatly overuse got. Use have when stating that they own enough money. Also, perhaps break this paragraph into smaller pararaphs.

I managed to find a working ritual that the zebra’s use to switch

The apostrophe + s combination is always an indicator of ownership or a contraction of that word and 'is'. For pluralizing nouns like is intended with zebras, it is almost always indicated simply by attaching an s.

did manage to sneak it unseen with me to Ponyville

A ritual in itself is a concept, which in itself is carried in its mind. Perhaps indicate that Lyra is smuggling in the items involved in the ritual. "... did manage to sneak the reagents into Ponyville unseen."

This will most likely be my final entrée.

Entry. An entrée is the main course of a meal.

Or the time you nearly got send

Past tense, sent.

I love that horn of you inside of me, working its magic till I peek

Inverse of one above. Peak.

“What’s going in?” You almost slur in response.

Going on.

“Feeling all hot and bothered? Easily turned on? You’re obviously in heat, but don’t you worry, I’ll fix that for you real good.”

Wow, Bonnie's gonna turn into a stallion and impregnate her? 'cause that's probably the only way she'll 'fix' it.

There is a fire active in your loans right now,

Loins.

She’s all smile now “How does that sound?”

Unless Bonnie's pregnant, there's no excuse for missing a period.

that you’re sure the neighbors can here for the record

*Hear

That being said, if formatting is getting messed up while copying/pasting, I'd suggest uploading story chapters to Google docs and then using the import function from FIMFiction once making it viewable by those who have a link. It works wonders for me, and on the plus side, if you make commenting available, you can even share it easily with those who volunteer to edit your story.

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Oh boy, seems I made a ton of typo's and other mistakes
Thank you for pointing them out, and I'll edit it as soon as I come home from work!

4175493
Once again thank you for pointing them out. I fixed those errors now, and while I should have seen most of them since they're stupid typo's, I didn't know about a few of those. English isn't my native language so I'll always have a few of those errors though, but yeah, that's no excuse!

Anyways, feel free to point out any more errors you spot down the line, so I can fix them. It's easy to miss them on your own literature I've tend to notice

WHY IS THERE AC CHAPTER THREEE

THREEEEEEEEEE

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Because I suck at titles!

Loved this chapter. I also love the mix of serious storytelling and sweet and hard clop
I´m looking forward for more of these chapters altough I guess the chances of the human to get out of this sticky mess are quite slim.

The fur is matter onto your skin

LOOK OUT ITS ATOMIC FUR It's the right color at least?

at the same time your list filled mind begs you

ton better then with a dick

Don't worry about more or less clop. The story is as entertaining both ways. I really liked how you described the dusty neglected instrument room. So heart breaking!

Hopefully our MC will realize at some point that the obsession about getting out of one's current situation is what caused this mess, so her continuing to do so can only make things worse. Though admittedly it'd be hilarious if she put off realizing it until she's concluded that she's going to get back to "normal" by stealing another human's body leaving that poor sap stuck in the body of a mentally unhinged mint green unicorn, whereupon Captain Irony himself flies in and slaps some sense into her. It would be just too sad seeing Bonbon pushed aside like that, again.

What she should do is realize that Bonbon's disbelief and suspicion is actually very reasonable, and apologize to Bonbon for getting upset that she felt that way. Something Lyra never did. Regardless if Bonbon is wrong, she's making the right choice given what she's got to work with. Science is about sucking up your pride and admitting that you might not be a man at all but merely a delusional cyanicorn, no matter how sure you are of yourself, until you have evidence to prove differently. You don't assume the hypothesis "Lyra stole my body" and prove it right. You assume the null hypothesis "Lyra didn't steal my body" and prove it wrong.

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Ugh... I really should proofread this when I don't feel tired as hell. Thank you for pointing those out!

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Don't worry about it. I'm just one more pair of eyes for catching errors.

I loved it all so much and can't wait to see what happens next.this guy is stubborn as an Apple.I hope he'll expect it soon.

I like it a lot so far. Just the last chapter felt a bit bloated. Having Lyra's complete diary that leaves no doubts whatsoever about her motives and all takes a lot of suspension away. Furthermore, it gives us information we do not really need. Yes, we learn a lot about the relationship, but I feel it would have been nicer to learn that through Bon Bon. Putting the pieces together is more fun.
Finally, having a know-it-all diary lying around does not feel very realistic. I would have stuck with a single note from Lyra and some notes/scribbles lying around that hint at the whole story.

Fuck I read it all and I can't wait to see the next part and I kinda like the diary and It serves a purpose

I haven't started reading yet, but

Chapter 01; The date that ended in horror · 23rd Aug 2013
Chapter 02: The First Day · 30th Sep 2013
Chapter 03: Along Came a Lyra · 2nd Apr 2014

The first chapter has a semicolon, whereas the others have colons. It's really nothing major and I feel a bit silly for pointing it out, but yeah

4226373
I'm terrible at titles truth be told, but yeah, didn't even notice that

Edit: Eh, it will do

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Hah, yeah, at first I planned a small chapter where the real Lyra would contant you and explain why she stole your body, but I realized that it wouldn't work out at all, so the diary section came to mind. But I couldn't just have a small section saying something like "lol, stole your body because of bad dreams, sorry brah" so it got bigger... but that chapter didn't work without some other plot related stuff, so the chapter got bigger again...and bigger, and then the clop scene, and well yeah... this got made

I admit the clopscene probably wasn't needed, but this story was made more to test my clop writing and wasn't supposed to have a strong plot (giggety) but that didn't sit well with me, hence this angle

There is a reason for Lyra's safeguards though, but that would be spoilers not only for this but Trixing Switch

When you meet the perfect girl online, you think you found your future girlfriend when she agrees to go on a date with you. Only to find out that said girl is in fact the minty green unicorn Lyra Heartstrings. Oh, you should probably also mention that she swaps bodies with you to explore the human world, so you’re now actually Lyra.

And if that isn't bad enough, you soon find yourself in Equestria with a lustful Bon Bon anxious to rekindle some spark in their love life

AWKWARD!!!

Update?

MOR MOR MOR

Near on a year.
Tomorrow, in fact.

I was wondering when a new chapter for this will be out this is byfar the BEST human in a pony clop ive read yet. I and im sure alot of others would like another chapter of this. Please? This has much potential

6109173 it's cancelled

Aww, dang. This could have been pretty good.

Well I'm sad

so many cancelled tf fics. What a waste.

This is fucking amazing, shame it's discontinued. Really love the progression and everything.