- Member Since 9th Jul, 2013
- offline last seen Dec 23rd, 2014
Diablomuerte2
The greatest source of inspiration for the stories I write is my insane day dreams.
Diablomuerte2
Joined 9th Jul, 2013 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Diablomuerte2 · 2.8k words · 121 5 · 3.7k views
- AWOL · 10k words · 171 11 · 4.6k views
- Diablomuerte2 · 4.1k words · 68 11 · 2.5k views
- The Queen Baby · 326k words · 231 25 · 3.2k views
- TheDocTorShy · 2.8k words · 52 12 · 3.6k views
- The Mirage · 4.6k words · 58 17 · 1.9k views
- SwedishMeatballs · 4.4k words · 76 2 · 4k views
- GuyGalProductions · 7.4k words · 95 3 · 3.2k views
Featured In14
Shipping 💖11,672 stories ·9,742 members
Clopfics11,546 stories ·15,815 members
The Fillyfoolers3,947 stories ·3,488 members
Rainbow Dash7,257 stories ·4,144 members
One-Shots18,920 stories ·2,369 members
- Organized Shipping (Most Common)2,159 stories ·1,332 members
- F/F ships2,904 stories ·1,412 members
- FlutterDash117 stories ·163 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.175 seconds
Total duration
856 users online
532,585 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
It's here!
Well, I can't wait to give this a read. Probably tomorrow or this weekend when I'm moaning in pain from having wisdom teeth yanked out...
3053782
Yes I actually had a hard time writing this with the ... amount of.. let's just say it's wickedly enjoyable.
I am guessing the dislikes are either from anti FlutterDash people or just clop haters. Either way those dislikes unless justified are not going to stop my good mood ;0
This has to be the first time any of my stories ever had more dislikes than likes... o.o bunch of haters on tonight.
Edit: I noticed why I might got some hate.. minor errors that don't harm the story.
Lots of errors are in my story it seems o.o man I need an editor. Well going to edit this story tomorrow need my sleep now
3053814...
Just a friendly, or more accurately "objective", critique...
Your problem here is not the clop-sex, or people opposed to Fluttershy & Rainbow Dash 'ship (portmanteau'x make my eyes twitch), but your technical writing.
#1 - You have a lot of glaring typo's.
#2 - The speaking lines do not "sound" like the characters you are depicting. For example(s): Rainbow Dash's talk sounds stilted and stiff, and Fluttershy using profanity and talking dirty sounds very "off" for her character, especially if the yellow pegasus is supposed to be a virgin experiencing her first sex.
For me, I managed to get about 1/3 through via reading, then I had to skim down the rest, and even skimming I could see your many technical errors (they are that glaring).
Normally with poorly written stories I just hit the Dislike and move on. But seeing your comments, I took some sympathy (not pity, pity is an insult) and time for you to try to give you a fair critique.
It may not be "cheering up" for you, but I hope it helps somewhat.
3053934
Thanks for at least telling me why you are disliking it. I don't care if people dislike but when they do it with out letting me know where I messed up how can I improve?
Also Virgin =/= innocent. She isn't 5 or ignorant about sex she just never had sex with another pony. I don't remember giving her any swear words.... and how is Rainbow Dash supposed to talk during sex?
Other than that I thank you for the critique.
Although I did notice a few spelling errors, I thought it was beautiful. You have my like.
3054073 Apparently there are a few technical and grammar errors too. I will work on those tomorrow and edit the thing. Content won't change just making it look more presentable.
Thanks for the like and glad you enjoyed the story.
Did some minor editing still needs work. I guess I just dropped the ball on this one sorry my readers and those who read it prior to my editing. I will fix this tomorrow as I have to work in the morning. Either way like or dislike I thank all who decided to read and decide to read it now.
Later when I am done editing it the chapter will revert to the original title.
Another good one, bro, don't see what the dislikes are for.
Maybe it was different before editing, but I thought it was great 
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/305/e/b/i_came_paper_by_helloween_4545-d5jou8e.jpg
3055400 Yes before editing it was bad I still need to edit it.
I wrote this late night when the image came to my head to do so but I guess I rushed it on accident.
Going to spruce it up a bit more.
3055608 Win comment +1 internet to you.
Like it, very nice and well written.
3056280 Yes after I spent time editing it. I had to do some heavy edits since before it was a mess. That is why I had like 12 dislikes when it first came out. Now I got two more and I couldn't care less.
The point is people read it and if they don't enjoy the content well ain't much I can do about that. If they do well they usually find their own way to my other stories and give them a read too.
Good story. I did however find some errors, like Rainbow Dash's dialog, when she speaks, she uses contractions, you seem to have found most of them, but there are still some. All in all the story was quite enjoyable. You have to love Flutterdash.
3056910
I see well I will probably do some more light fixes but over all I am done editing. Also yes FlutterDash rocks
The only thing that could've made that better would be if it had included watersports.
Misplaces comma.
3058645
Alright thanks for catching that.
I think it would be nice if the conversation was the next day (pretending heat only lasts a day might be acceptable) so that there is no question about shy's sincerity (regardless of earlier insinuation)
Otherwise very good in my opinion
3062461
Fair enough. I guess I had that oversight but I felt that Shy regardless of being in heat would be able to tell if she honestly loves someone post coitus ... since she was in love with her pre coitus. Still I thank you for your opinion as it was an insightful one.
Glad you liked the story
I love it! Beautiful story!
3062749 Glad you like it.
Although, I do see some errors. In the first paragraph, its' is wrong. Should be it's. Shined-shone
3062928
Fixed thanks for spotting them. I had an issue with lots of errors when I first posted it. I didn't have any proof readers or editors like I do now and since I haven't used any outside help with this fic when I first published it was an error fest and it had woken me up.
So now I take more time when pre editing and I have edited most of the major stuff. I haven't had anyone else give this fic a once over to get the minor stuff out the way.
As said earlier thanks for spotting them and thanks for reading it.
Your welcome. Could you proof read mine when ready? I haven't posted it yet...
3062984
I am not sure if I am qualified to be one I just write and wing it. I just recently started using proof readers and editors for my first straight clop fic and it seems it helps keep the mass dislikes at bay.
Oh... mine's a crossover of W.I.R. and MLP. I didn't do a clop, but it's one thing, I love but cant write.
And how do you do those smiley faces? I'm kinda new here, joined yesterday.
3063069 there is icons on the side and welcome to the site :P if your on a mobile device you may not see the icons but if you see them click one.
also if you like something you can click a thumbs up button and if you dislike something click the thumbs down.
If you like something enough you can hit the star icon which favorites the fic you read.
Not seeing it. I'm on a Sony Ericsson Android... but maybe...
3063212
No Laptop or Desktop?
Nope. Just my old faithful android smartphone.
3065213
Well it must be hard to get things done, but I applaud your efforts at trying to keep up. So then Idk if there is some feature to allow images or something to display on your phone but I am sure you can type a colon am I right?
use a colon plus a name like rainbowwild and another colon afterwords. it should add one
Hmm...
3065353
Success
Now, how do you do the rest of the mane6?
3065780
pinkiehappy =
facehoof =
ajsmug =
raritywink =
Stuff like that.
No Fluttershy? Do those work for the other characters too?
3066559 There is a Fluttershy. Also there is tons more. Just I was showing you an example.
Ok, is that put as flutter or fluttershy in the smiley?
3066658 No each one is unique and not all characters have the same emotions as others. I think there is an emote guide on this site. I am not sure. But if anything you can pm me or something because we are spamming the comment section and I don't think people will appreciate seeing emote discussions on a story about clop.
how the holy FUCK had i not read this till now.......... oh yeah rainbow dash * shudder *
wait but fluttershy and this great author... yeah had it right the first time.
how the holy FUCK had i not read this till now.
3090197 I don't know :P
3090255
ohh yeah. the parasprite has been distracting me with absolutely great excuses to offend the everloving hell outa people in his blogs lately. well fuck that,more reading. you and calculusfilly are now my favorite " romance " * chuckle * authors.
what Nightheart said just about covers it
I noticed this story still needs some editing. I might get it cleaned up some more. Might being the key word.
get in there mrs shy
i bet that was one of the best clopfics ive ever read
really thankyou it brought a tear to my eye
i thuroughly enjoyed this
3141361 Glad you like it. I still need to edit it to refine it but I am so busy as of late.
in my eyes it already looks amazing but my litteracy sucks
but to me i honestly give it 10/10 its favourited in my top 3
3141375 Thank you kindly.