a few things in the chapter "Intimacy":

"With his magic, Elusive lifted Butterscotch's tail all the way. He knew what was coming, or at least had an idea. A dollop was taken from the black tube black tube, and applied it to where the sun don't shine. Butterscotch shivered and wiggled:" i think you meant to say it once

"With a hoof lovingly patting his back, Elusive gently inserted the first beat, watching Butterscotch's face. " did you mean "bead"?

"Elusive locked his forelegs around Butterscotce's hips, then it was time." Butterscotch is spelled wrong

"It had began as painful, grown to uncomfortable... but now, after just a few mere minutes, that was subsiting." did you mean "subsiding"?

3171978

Thank you. I will fix those shortly

Simply reading the title and description gave me such a massive boner that I became lightheaded due to blood loss in my brain.

I can't wait to read it.

well, i think that my first read of pure S/S clop was a success. definately gives me ideas of what to do with my bf

Really loved most of it, though I wish the sex chapter had a bit more actual sex. It just feels to short and "straight forward" for my liking. I think if their was more foreplay I would have enjoyed it more. But regardless good job!

Absolutely fabulous fic!!!

3766490

Correction made. Thank you again for the kind words, pardner

That was amazing. Somehow I ship r63 pairings so much easier, and I can ship to this! Absolutely beautiful. Heart warming and pleasant, a fantastic example of a romantic piece. On a scale of 1 - 10, this is an obvious 11.

4066976

If it was, it was incidental. All rule 63 names were taken from AK47Smith's Deviant Art page.

I've never played Boarderlands, but it looks cool

4069101 This story was sooooo cuuuuute!!!!!

5587696

No worries. Thanks for the advice

I suppose I could contact a mod, but that would require effort that I can't spare. Besides we all know it's the users fault 100% of the time.

I'm not quite that cynical, lol. Before I learned about the "Read it Later" option I used to do the same thing.

Peace

it was a nice read, keep up the good work.

7479951

Thanks.

The lead up before the last two chapters definitely made it more of a story than just rush to the clop. Clop, in my opinion, can be good if it is natural or fleshed out as to what got the characters to that particular moment. You lead well to the moment while providing genuine closure through your Epilogue.

It was neat hearing all the Rule 63 ponies. Spike as Barb is so fitting. I had fun thinking of what Barb would sound like. Dusk shine for Twilight works very well, too. I'm sure we'll get a Dusk Shine at some point given we have Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, and Starlight Glimmer. Lots of evening references in theshow for sure. :)