wayward_pony
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a few things in the chapter "Intimacy":
"With his magic, Elusive lifted Butterscotch's tail all the way. He knew what was coming, or at least had an idea. A dollop was taken from the black tube black tube, and applied it to where the sun don't shine. Butterscotch shivered and wiggled:" i think you meant to say it once
"With a hoof lovingly patting his back, Elusive gently inserted the first beat, watching Butterscotch's face. " did you mean "bead"?
"Elusive locked his forelegs around Butterscotce's hips, then it was time." Butterscotch is spelled wrong
"It had began as painful, grown to uncomfortable... but now, after just a few mere minutes, that was subsiting." did you mean "subsiding"?
3171978
Thank you. I will fix those shortly
Simply reading the title and description gave me such a massive boner that I became lightheaded due to blood loss in my brain.
I can't wait to read it.
well, i think that my first read of pure S/S clop was a success. definately gives me ideas of what to do with my bf
Really loved most of it, though I wish the sex chapter had a bit more actual sex. It just feels to short and "straight forward" for my liking. I think if their was more foreplay I would have enjoyed it more. But regardless good job!
This story is amazing!
Also, love the r63 names!
This is adorable.
Absolutely fabulous fic!!!
I think you meant arrangements, not arraignments... unless Angel/Lilith is finally under arrest for abusing Fluttershy/Butterscotch.
Nitpick aside, I enjoyed and devoured this fic. Those two make a surprisingly good couple, and you're certainly well aware of what the issues regarding backdoor entry are. Only thing I would have wanted to see is a little more lead-up in the form of perhaps a solid description of a hoof job and attempts at oral before moving on to the mane event.
3766490
Correction made. Thank you again for the kind words, pardner
That was amazing. Somehow I ship r63 pairings so much easier, and I can ship to this! Absolutely beautiful. Heart warming and pleasant, a fantastic example of a romantic piece. On a scale of 1 - 10, this is an obvious 11.
Okay I'm not sure wether or not that was a Borderlands reference the whole Angel/Lilith thing
4066976
If it was, it was incidental. All rule 63 names were taken from AK47Smith's Deviant Art page.
I've never played Boarderlands, but it looks cool
I wish there were r63 emoticons sometimes XP this story is sooo cute!
Glad you decided to go with Barbara. Lots of people choose Spines for female Spike and I prefer Barbara.
But poor Barbs! Oh well, there's a stallion out there for her somewhere!
Oh my
This be getting good! Hehe. 
4069101 This story was sooooo cuuuuute!!!!!
Sorry about the favorite. It turns out when the site got redone, I lost my "read later" tab so when I see something interesting and want to read it later, I just use favorite.
I suppose I could contact a mod, but that would require effort that I can't spare. Besides we all know it's the users fault 100% of the time.
Anyway, I'm giving this story a no-vote. It has a nice, friendly atmosphere and Rarity does make a pretty cute stallion, but the exposition feels clunky. Having people come home at the end of a day and talk about what happened is awkward when the two people have been with each other the whole day and know this stuff firsthand. Just something to keep in mind. This thing needs some editing too. You should link actions and speech to character perspective so instead of this...
You get this...
Elusive pushed open the door to his shop. Inside it was dark and warm... he used his magic to flick on a light. "We're home!" He shouted into the empty establishment. "Alexanderite! Come see Daddy!"
Elusive walking into the shop and speaking to the cat are all told from his perspective, so they share a paragraph.
There are spelling and other grammar issues, but nothing a good editor can't fix.
Good luck with your future stories!
5587696
No worries. Thanks for the advice
I suppose I could contact a mod, but that would require effort that I can't spare. Besides we all know it's the users fault 100% of the time.
I'm not quite that cynical, lol. Before I learned about the "Read it Later" option I used to do the same thing.
Peace
it was a nice read, keep up the good work.
7479951
Thanks.
I must say I'm liking the Rule 63 concepts. It was fun deciphering who the stallion versions were.
This story is really fun. It gives just enough detail to make you curious as to what it could be like to be in such a situation. Nothing too over-the-top. I also like the confusion being shared by Butterscotch in how he expected to be doing what he's doing with Elusive with a mare. Definitely puts a lot more depth into the characters than just making a story with Rule 63 characters going at it.
Looking forward to reading more soon. :)
The lead up before the last two chapters definitely made it more of a story than just rush to the clop. Clop, in my opinion, can be good if it is natural or fleshed out as to what got the characters to that particular moment. You lead well to the moment while providing genuine closure through your Epilogue.
It was neat hearing all the Rule 63 ponies. Spike as Barb is so fitting. I had fun thinking of what Barb would sound like. Dusk shine for Twilight works very well, too. I'm sure we'll get a Dusk Shine at some point given we have Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, and Starlight Glimmer. Lots of evening references in theshow for sure. :)
Ewwww anal, Yaaaay Love, perfectly balanced