• Member Since 17th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 11th, 2021

Portal82


Comments ( 1189 )

Not bad, but you really need to correct your spelling errors. I'ts kinda difficult to read with them all. but other then that pretty good story! Keep it up.

Here are some examples of the errors. Heheh sorry for not giving any!

Babs Seed gives of a cute giggle and slowly starting to raise her hips and then her smal body from you.

It's small instead of smal and 'you' after gives.

Applebloom turns around and walk out.

walks

"Well girls it seems he like the ide, Applebloom go back and tell your family that the Cutie Mark Crusader will have a sleepover in the clubhouse"

The first mistake is ride, the second is liked instead of like, and after Applebloom add a comma.

Babs looking behind her at you giving you a grin.

Hmm, this one is really confusing. I think you meant to say Babs looked back at you grinning, or something along those lines.
There are more but those are some examples. Just little mishaps along the way. I suggest getting a proof reader.

This was.... Readable. Aside from the numerous grammatical errors I will say that the flow of the action was written pretty well. As long as you improve on your spellchecking I'd say this might turn out good.

Hello readers

After some thinking and a boost of new idees

This one time babs fic will become a story with several chapter

where we will follow "your" adventure

will make the changes for that

I was planing to post the next fic that was to be a romance zecora x human one

but will post it in a new own story fic later

hey, como es que no les gusta a todos?, esto esta marabilloso, embarazo, bodas, potros reciendo, es todo lo que siempre quise leer.... porfavor continuar escribiendo.... saludos y... la historia esta bien como esta.... animo que seguire leyendo:heart::heart::heart::heart::rainbowwild:

donĀ“t worry, i understand english too, but i like spanish much more, besides i like you story, just keep going please

there is one spelling error that just made me laugh and i wish you would keep it in there it is where it should say she started to bob her head, but instead it says booband i don't know why i just could not stop laughing

2799145

Hmm sorry but it have to go

but thanks for reading my story

hope it was fun

holy shit so many spelling errors, errors as far as the eye can see.

added a little to the story
intro still in the works

You need a proofreader, that much is certain...:rainbowderp:

And oh my God! What have I done to spark the idea of a Babs Seed x Human rape and mindbreak scenario where the guy is raped? :rainbowlaugh: By the time the story is over, I imagine the poor bastard will be a mindless automaton, only there to hump ponies. Well, we will see how this story continues... :twilightsmile:

um babs will be disappointed when she finds out humans and ponies can't mate.

2821466

Well I'm writing the background story for this

*Spoiler*
And well he get a mare pregnant
will be explained more

Hmm do you readers mind if I change it so that "you" becomes a person with a name
example
Anon

Think it will be easier to write and do it in a general point of view

What do you say?

The concept is good....but you dreadfully need an editor....

Have heard your readers comments about me needing an editor
so have taking it to heart
I have a follow author that will take a look at it
but he is quite busy with Collage so hope he can help

Agreed, I could barely trudge past a few paragraphs

I'm no gonna lie, I like it, a lot. but you need an editor and pronto.

*Seeing characters tags*
I can understand Cherilee but Mrs.Cake?

i could proofread it for you.:twilightsmile: just PM me your e-mail or something so i can send it to you when i'm done.:moustache:

3378713

*spoiler alert*

The mrs cake tag is there becouse she will come in later

about three chapters from now

3383009

have up to chapter 14 in mind as of now
will see if I can add more

3386667

I belive he did...
Well...
Getting help now with it so hopefully, the story will be more fun to read in the future

I'm definitely going to hell for reading this... meh, who cares.

I know this is clop, but...


You really, really need an editor. As it is, this is nearly unreadable due to a large number of issues. Your tense keeps jumping from point to point, sometimes in the same sentence. The story structure is uneven and tends to stumble, mainly from the large number of run-on sentences where you jammed together two sentences that needed to be kept separate. I almost get the impression that English is not your first language.

This story needs a serious run-through for spelling & grammar errors. There's at least one or two in every sentence. Your verb tense constantly changes, there are spelling errors everywhere that should have been caught by any spell check, including the chapter title which is a very bad indicator.

As it is right now, it's practically unreadable because all the time I'm forced out of the story in order to figure out what you meant to write instead of what is written. At the very least you should put this through a word processor and do a basic spelling & grammar check to fix the most glaring mistakes.

I am looking for an editor my self?=, If interested We could do each other's stories. I don't mind rereading to help a fellow writer.

Grammar errors distract from the work as a whole, good concept, however I'm guessing English isn't your first language. Either way just get an editor and this would be quite good.

3550078

Yes english is not my first language and know of the error and gramar mistakes

trying to find an editor or two

talked to Xunsusp3cted anomalyX, send him a chapter to edit, but have been some time now

have some chapters in wait but will not post them until some had have someone take a look at them so that it will not be an error nightmare for you readers to experiance

This needs editing from someone whose first language is english.

My God. The spelling and grammar is unacceptable. When I have the chance, I will edit this myself and fix all of the mistakes. Because clearly your editor is not the best at this. No offense. However, the ideas here are...very acceptable.

The Saddle Arabia history was fucked up. :rainbowlaugh:

3642744

I read one about a sultan like that
don't remember where

great story. I know some people don't like a story with the 'herd' concept being used, but I for one like it.

Getting help with all the chapter i have posted
A helpful brony here is Editing the chapters

So look forward to the further edited ones

And hopefully I can post one or two new chapters later this coming week

Strange. My name just happens to be James. I guess that made the story a whole lot better. :trollestia:

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