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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Here's an idea. Maybe he shoots the damnd dog.
Just a suggestion
3018724
Though a Molotov is easier to replace than a bullet.
3018724
But.... BUTBUTBUTBUT... FIRE?!
3018724
But fire is pretty :)
but instead of a burring death and the smell of burnt fur you could end his life quickly and painlessly I mean it was a little extreme don't yah think if you wanted to make him pay rather fancy a knife or run him over with the bike or other possibilities
3019195 Fire is better in many aspects, 1. Being that it's easy to make 2. You get a pretty light show 3. No need for burying the body, as it will just burn to ash and bones, and 4. YOU GET TO BURN SHIT!!!!
3019195
Let's sit back and think for a sec. Isaiah doesn't know what that thing is, all he knows is that it's trying to kill him for no reason. Anger can blind us all and make us go to far.
I understand what you mean by a more appropriate way of ending it all, but once something almost kills you, you're going to pretty unrelenting. I also needed to do something for the dark tag.
Let's look on the bright side, at least he didn't eat what remained; now that's fucked up.
3019777
famous quotes -kill it kill it with fire, burn them all, fire solves everything, Molotov here(left for dead) basically your right lots of memes and people say burn everything to high hell lol
oooh, more ponies xD
XD i enjoy fire like the setting sun....its so nice to see someone burn for a good reason. I love reading your world. And the way you tell to us readers. Though XD i wonder how its going to end, for future thoughts. But i really loved how he has that XD common sense. Most would "Freak, Somehow turn a 180 character personality, or accept it real fast" in the stories i read. Now XD depending on the character some of that doesn't matter. But most stories do that whole weird turn of events on a dime. But this one doesn't do that. XD I love it. I'mma stay tune till next time....
Mahalo
3019777
Wow.
I would totally eat the remains. Thanks for making me feel fucked up.
Also, great story. Thoroughly enjoying it. Can't wait to see more.
I agree that fire fire is nice, but a gun and bullet elimenate the need to fuck youself up fighting with a knife.
Needless personal harm.
Two things:
1) Oh we all know who that pegasus mare is *cough* Rainbow Dash *cough*
2) He should have used one of these two knives
swordsswords.com/ProductImages/s/Warrior_Spike_Dagger_2.jpg
kitup.military.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/battlesickle.jpg
3019145 I'm aware both this comment and chapter are ancient, but he used a molotov cocktail to kill a wounded enemy dragging himself along in a forest. He could have started a forest fire. Sure fire is pretty, but not taking a chance at killing yourself is better. Although I'll admit it would have been cooler riding a dirt bike out of a burning forest if he had set it ablaze.
I gotta say, I really like the reason for him turning down the reward. I was about to get pissed because nobody's that noble and selfless, but his reasoning was so real.
I love chapters that can be summed up in few words. Though I'd only use one for this one: crispeeeh.
Funny what rage, adrenaline and the threat of imminent death can do to a person, huh? At least he didn't eat the sorry bastard. (Again, crispy)
On a more constructive note, your usage of time of day is slightly confusing at times. It makes sense as the time spans are what you'd expect of said scenarios, but I've noticed that sometimes you mistake (or maybe you don't, but if that's the case it makes it even more confusing) AM and PM. Kinda difficult to assess if it's the middle of the night or afternoon. I think it would be less confusing with a 24-hour clock, but hey, it's your story brother!
Also, crazed diamond dogs in the picture now? I'm starting to suspect the "infection" you keep mentioning... Could be some "fun" times ahead. And by fun I mean a good old shitstorm.
Keep up the good work,
- Bloody Buddy
Ouch, that was cold.
So for the story is decently appealing, but what what stains it is the horrible grammar and typos that are frequently visible, some time more than other.
This error for example: "I let her stitched me up", happens a lot and after a while I put off the assumption that it's simply a typo, because it can be spotted on a regular basis.
The conjugation is wrong, it's not "stitched" since this isn't written in simple 'past tense'.
It's "I let HER do SOMETHING to ME"
Examples:
"I let her stitch me up"
"I let her fix me up"
"I let her dry me up"
"I let her drive the car"
Same as for negative:
"I didn't let her stich me up"
"I didn't let her drive the car"
'Let' is used as giving permission to do/cause an action, so it's not past tense.
The verb remains in form of its first conjugation [Simple Present].
If you were to use the {-ed} conjugation, you'd have to write it like this:
"She [quickly] stitched me up"
"I watched as she stitched up my wounds"
"A few moments later, I got all [my wounds] stitched up by her"
"I was stitched up in no time"
"Feeling better by getting stitched up, ..."
All of those phrasings would be fine.
Another error is the incorrect or rather missing use of the indefinite article 'an'.
It depends on if your 'a' article has either a consonant or a vowel following 'i':
'"Can you walk?" A earth pony stallion asked me.'
'A' is followed by an e, a vowel, therefore it turnes into 'an', it's also not right to use the uppercase letter either.
'"Can you walk?" an earth pony stallion asked me.'
Next is the use of 'Should of'.
Should of is incorrect grammar, it does not exist in proper English language.
The correct phrase is 'Should have'.
The phrase 'should have' refers to a missed obligation or opportunity in the past. When using informal speech, it is contracted to should’ve, not "should of."
"I should have known that."
"
I should of known that.""I should have done that."
"
I should of done that."There are a few other grammar mistakes and really strange phrasings, in that regard I'd advise some heavy editing.
La advertencia era innecesaria, cuando pones clasificación M puedes hacer lo que quieras
7710897
When you go in about grammar, and yet your first two words are "So for". lol
And the bit about the manticore's guts exploding and leaving a fleshy hole into its stomach was what, exactly?
9310132
Well, he did say he was going to place separate warnings, so...
Yeah, no. Defending yourself explains all actions up to him dragging himself away. You could've walked the fuck away, but no - you just had to torture the fucker to death. Go you.
I have no love for diamond dogs, but that was just unnecessary (and you spent a molotov coctail for nothing, too). A jab to the neck, or a shovel to the head would've been exactly as effective, quicker, and ultimately cost-free (as well as much more explainable). You monster.
So, not enough steam to walk to Ponyville, but more than enough to put together a goddamn bike?!
The grammar I can live through, but this... is a bit much.
Also, it would be nice if we could get a comprehensive list of items in (and around) the shed - just so we can watch out for deus ex author's ass down the road.
Ok, here is some advice for future fighting scenes, It is really important to describe the effects that your attacks have on the opponents, by not describing the Dog’s reactions you broke the realism of the fight. Second you should make the woulds more realistic, a whole bayonet in his eye should have kill him instantly, but overall it was a decent fight scene.