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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The wait is painful. Much too painful gifted one.
>left me to my own devises
devices
>I rode threw the forest
through
>such thing as to early
too
>the decretive buildings
decorative
>I'm starting to wander
wonder
>But ever sense
since
>performance have been
has
>You have know clue
no
>You and the guards of past, present, and future have or will experience what I had.
huh???
>I don't plan
didn't
>made me want to quite
quit
>The pay was good to
too
I noticed after I finished reading the chapter and typing this that someone else made their own little correction list, but here's mine. Regardless of the errors though, I do like the story. Keep up the good work.
devices
shelter
an optional
an encounter
started to laugh
there was no way
trees and bushes
rode through
led to
pathway
strode over to Luna's tent that was in the center of the tents.
too early
was still visible
tent's flaps or tent flaps
decorative buildings
when they caught
kinda
my curiosity
7:3 as a matter of fact
Luna and I
The clouds were long, wispy strands of orange that spotted the sky in an un-orderly
How long is the ride
I asked Luna, who was
already been four
we're here
buildings
too
love me
fairy-tail
an
cringe a little on the inside
shelves
famous ponies who
led
from
Ever since I moved to the Crystal Kingdom, the guards' performance has been lacking.
no clue
have not or will never experience
yourself
an equally simple
everything
an orange
your life
Princess Celestia asked.
my colony's military force
Armor
your parents
quit for awhile
Removed 'Once'.
up
times
childhood
make things
The wait. It hurts so good!
3095525
I'm not going to lie, your list made me lol. Anyway, thanks for pointing them out. Had to rush to get something out, doing such a thing will cause some mistakes along the way!
3095525 ...Damn.
oh god, he is gonna fuck Luna....
Seems like folks have the errors covered already.
I am assuming this is leaning towards a Luna romance?
Do you think it may have been a good idea to mention the Rangers earlier? Maybe?
On a less sarcastic note, it is good to learn that someone else thinks dusty boots are formal.
And on the caterlot ponies: They're not racist, they just frown on other speices and other less wealthy poies. Totaly different than racism.
God dam left and righ twix logic there.
...asshole out
3099540
Just wait for a little bit longer. I'll dwell into his time in the Rangers in later chapters so y'all can see why he doesn't think about it. *cough cough* bad memories *cough cough*
Me thinks Luna's is trying to convince herself instead of Isaiah(sp?)
4562821 she kinda explained their disposition as the almost exact definition of racism, so yeah.
That's some good water...
damn this water's fuckin' good
4562821 The only real sub-races of ponies are earth, pegasus and unicorns.
I guess you could also be racist against alicorns - but ...
Anything else would be either specist - like races but for different species - or classist.
Not racist.
3095492 Also - the persistent use of 'revile' not 'reveal'.
Revile = to hate, often publically.
You need an editor. There are a number of errors as others have pointed out, and sadly that distracts from the story, as interesting as it is.
Not sure if this one got caught in another comment, but:
Is this supposed to be, he does mind, or he doesn’t mind? Double negatives makes it super confusing.
I’m so confused by this, why was this said?💀💀