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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well, seeing there's a sex tag...I'm wondering whose the lucky mare.
2834692 Just wait and see. It just might be a variety of mares...
Dat sheath part...
2837950 No not really. The environment is just like that in The Last of Us, but the infection is different. I'm just waiting for a good opportunity for the explanation of the infection.
2829536 Isaiah isn't a soldier. : \
I used to be a survivor like you but then my schlong was shown to a talking pony in the hospital while giving me a sponge bath................................................................................. well that pretty much sums it up
"Don't panic, don't panic, panicking will only worsen the situation. Calm you're self Isaiah." I thought to my self. - Your
"Ah, yes. You're leg did sustain a consider amount of damaged that you received not to long ago. It's healing, same with you're chest. - Your , considerable, damage, your
This sentence doesn't make much sense grammatically , shouldn't it be something like "Ah yes. Your leg did sustain a considerable amount of damage not too long ago. It's healing, same with your chest".
"I-I remember that one of the dogs ripped my chest up with it's claws, but I don't know why my left leg is hurting so much." - its
A fragment of bone imbedded it's self into you're left leg. - its, your
For some reason, you're body wouldn't co-operate properly with our magic, which proved to be a challenge for the medical staff. - your
"Yeah, what about it?" He said as he tilled his head. - tilted (unless he's cultivating crops with his head)
She too had one of the weird brands, her's was the same emblem that was on her cap. - hers (singular possessive)
The stallion who left me closed the door with his magic thingy. I could hear faint chatter out side of the door. - outside
"Yes we are here to see you're patient Doctor Health. Is he awake?" Said one of the princesses. - your
I thought I would make a note of the errors I picked up as I first skimmed through, but I cannae' take any more captain!
Please read http://www.elearnenglishlanguage.com/difficulties/youryoure.html
This got me laughing... well played
Should be "Yes we are here to see your patient Doctor Health.
You're = You are
I have to say, the sentence structure makes me think that english is not your first language. No offence intended, but it is filled with awkward phrasing, poor wording, and strange paragraph layouts. It is just annoying enough to bother me as I read, but the excellent plot and interesting premise has kept me reading despite that.
Run! Run back to your house in the woods!
2840098 The firework must've been a Suprise Muthafukka brand. Right? I love the story by the way.
I'm sorry, but this is absolutely unreadable
My eyes hurt from reading this. Get editor for Luna sake.....
"But it's 4:23 in the afternoon!"
And I'm still recovering after nearly dying!
5759657 oh the fuckin irony!
4994732 Its the forth of july 12:26 AM and someone just set off a firework nearby right when I got to the authors note.
His ding dong was showing.
7226037 encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSGbfAhSv4H6CsNuyTmFPqQuEo_K5Qk9sG_l3JrYUV_jLK-b4dMsFz14w
The grammar is pretty bad. Honestly, an editor would go a long way.
I'm going on anyway. I hope it gets better.
Tried to enjoy it. Really did.
The grammar ruined it for me.
You're story really needs an editor, or your going to lose you're readers.
2918023
Wingdings not wrong mate......
I'm interested, but I seriously can't continue with this level of grammar. Good luck!
Are you doing this on purpose?
Seriously, somebody please edit this story, this is barely readable.
7924757
It's readable, and there's certainly a story in there, but the writing is fairly bad - and not just for the reasons you point out. It requires rewriting in certain areas, and a bit of re-pacing to boot. I think editing it will be no small matter - it would probably take gathering a few logical chunks at a time (say, a few chapters) and reorganizing them from the ground-up, then repartitioning back into chapters.
7518945
You might want to add an " /s" at the end of that last sentence - otherwise people might assume the worst... ;]
First world problems. ;]
So far So good, but I am afraid this Twi is gonna be kind of bichy (which is not bad) but the MC won’t do shit about it.