Hello, I'm Mary. I'm a mother of two, married to the most wonderful man I could hope for and live what I consider to be, the life I've always wanted. So... why oh why, in the wide, wide world of whys, did this happen to me?

This is my story, for better or for worse, about how things in my life became beyond unbearable.

This story is a sequel to Kind Hearts & Coronets

“My name’s Daisy Jo Martinez. I was born – or so my birth certificate says – on March 30, 2012. I’m married with two kids, my husband’s a Naval officer. I’m originally from a town just outside of DC called Winchester, Virginia – apple capital of America, yay, go me. I’m a Republican – that tends to shock a lot of people – and I’m a practicing Catholic – and that tends to shock more people than the first, and like I said, I’m married – I think people start passing out at that point. I've lived a happy, charmed life and I’m proud to be an American.

“And as you can also see, I’m a pony. Well, physically anyway."

The first main story of The All-American Girl Saga.
TV Tropes page
Selected as "Humans Aren't Bastards" Group's Mods' Choice July 2013

Pinkie Pie has an existential crisis while painting her room. This self-parody is dedicated to Professor Piggy, who once told me that I could write a story about Pinkie watching paint dry and weave it into an incredible psychological journey. Let's see if he was right.

Featured on Equestria Daily.

Dramatic reading by MicTheMicrophoneZero.

Cover art by chaosdrop.

This is a realistic view on how shipping would actually happen in the show. Almost every pony has been shipped with everypony else, but this is what would actually happen if two ponies ever attempted at a relationship.

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No offense to any shippers, even though you shouldn't take any. If anypony would like to see any other shippings done on this fic, just leave a comment. Maybe I'll write it if I feel like it.