How Every Shipfic Would Actually Happen

by TheOnly


Twidash

Twilight's pupils slowly crossed her eyes, found the end of the page, and shot back to where they began. Every once in a while her horn would light up and the page would flip. It was quiet in the library, Spike was out running some errands and the birds had found somewhere else to chirp.

Five hundred pages into the Big Book of Equestrian History, Twilight slowly examined each page. She needed to find the section that explained when Ponyville was colonized, and none of her other books seemed to explain it. Most of the information about the discovery of Ponyville had been lost or destroyed, and anything that could contain something about it had already been read by Twilight. This book was her last hope.

Each page was a new-

"Twilight!"

Twilight's concentration snapped, her head jerking toward the source of the sound and her eyes un-sticking themselves from the book. She blinked twice, her eyes that had spent so many hours glazing over words on a page adjusting to looking at the room around her and all the new colors. After she was done blinking, she looked at the door, and sure enough Spike was standing, his arms empty.

"I thought you went out to run errands. Where are the quills and parchment that I needed slave?"

Spike looked at the ground and dragged his foot in a circle. "Well, you see, I was going to do the errands, I swear, but Rainbow Dash wanted me to hang out with her."

"Alright Spike, I guess it's fine, but if could please go and get the quills and parchment now I would be ever grateful," said Twilight, her eyes flicking toward her book to make sure she didn't lose her line on the page.

"I was going to get them, but Rainbow asked me to come ask you if you could come see her. It's super important, and she said she needs to see you right now."

"I'm busy now Spike, I'm reading this book and I can't lose my place."

"But Twilight, Rainbow needs your help right now."

Twilight rolled her eyes and snorted. "Fine, but if I come back and I don't remember where I left off, Rainbow is never going to her the end of it."

With that, Twilight shot a final glance at the page and line she was on, quickly memorized it, and bounded out the door hastily.

As she sped past Spike he yelled,"She's at Applejack's barn!"

Twilight sped on, mentally noting Applejack's as her destination. Within a few minutes, Twilight was already there.

And, just as Spike had said, so was Rainbow Dash.

"Hey Twilight!" she chirped. Twilight didn't respond with her cheerfulness, her mind still on her book.

"What do you want, Rainbow," she said.

"Okay," said Rainbow Dash,"I need you to untie that rope over there while I stand here." Rainbow pointed at a rope that was tied to the trunk of a nearby tree.

Twilight rolled her eyes and discarded all the questions she had in favor of saving time. She trotted over to the rope and asked Rainbow to tell her when to untie it.

Rainbow spread her wings out wide. "Now!" she yelled.

Twilight lazily untied the knot around the tree, and the second it became undone the rope was already on its way up the trunk. Twilight turned around, only to realize that she had let an anvil loose, and it was above Rainbow Dash. Before she could react, the anvil landed directly on a smiling Rainbow Dash's open wing.

"Rainbow Dash!" yelled Twilight as the anvil crushed Rainbow's wing. Twilight galloped over as fast as she could, and using a powerful amount of magic she lifted the heavy anvil off of Rainbow's wing.

The wing was broken in many places. Rainbow was groaning in pain, her body lying on the ground with the injured wing extended out. Twilight took a few moments to examine the wing and Rainbow Dash, making sure the anvil hadn't hurt anything else.

"We have to get you to the hospital!" said Twilight.

Rainbow Dash opened her eyes and looked at Twilight.

"No."

"What? But your wing is crushed, we need to get you medical attention!"

"No Twilight. Medical attention is for the weak and puny. Only love can heal me." Rainbow let out another moan in pain.

"Rainbow Dash, WHY was there an anvil at the end of the rope, and WHY did you put your wing directly under it?!"

"Because Twilight, we were meant to be. That anvil symbolizes love. My wing symbolizes you. I am going to smash you with love."

"You know what, that's it, you're going to the hospital whether you like it or not."

"I don't want to go to the hospital."

"But you have to. Why wouldn't you want to go to the hospital? Any pony with a brain would choose hospital in this situation."

"Twilight... I want you to take care of me."

"What?"

"Take care of me Twilight. Nurse me back to health."

"Rainbow, there's literally a hospital one minute away. Here, let me get you onto my back." Twilight leaned down and attempted to get her head underneath Rainbow Dash.

"No Twilight, you have to take care of me. It's the only way. You need to tend to my wing." Rainbow Dash lowered her voice into a whisper,"And my heart."

Twilight didn't hear the whisper, she was too busy assessing the situation. "Rainbow, I'm not going to take care of you. There is a hospital with licensed doctors that are being paid to deal with injuries like this. The only logical action in this situation is to take you to the hospital. Only an idiot would decide against that and take care of you themselves."

"You need to wrap my wing Twilight. You need to visit me every day in my home. Any you need to sit by my bedside and read me stories." Rainbow's eyes looked up at the sky, as if she was remembering some fantasy she had every day.

"And you have to take care of my wing. AND THEN WE HAVE TO KISS!"

Rainbow Dash stared directly at Twilight as she spoke. Twilight stared back, their eyes lost in each other. "And as our relationship grows stronger over my broken wing, it will get fixed, but you will still visit everyday, and then we're going to get married. Then we're going to have a romantic dinner, and after a short fight over our marriage and how I planned the injury on my wing to win over you, we bond closer and have a baby."

"Yeah that's it we're going to the hospital."

Twilight's horn glowed and she picked up Rainbow Dash. Ignoring her protests, Twilight dragged her all the way to the hospital and brought her to a doctor. Nurses came and wheeled her away in a gurney.

As she was carried away she yelled,"But we were meant to be together! The broken wing was the key!"

The doctor looked at Rainbow Dash and her broken wing.

Twilight leaned in close to him. "A few weeks in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt."

The doctor nodded.