"Suppose I killed them all?"

Anypony will tell you that Princess Celestia is the most amazing pony in Equestria. She's graceful, she's beautiful, and she always knows just what to say. Her decisions are wise and her manners are impeccable. Some might go so far as to say she's completely perfect.

Celestia has a secret, however. As it turns out, she actually is completely perfect. She's utterly infallible in every aspect. And boy, is she sick of it.

Now she's determined to manage to make just one little thing go wrong.

It won't, of course. After all, she's perfect.

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Written for the Equestria Daily Pre-reader battle: April 2013- The prompt was "Celestia's terrible secret- Revealed!" Unfortunately it didn't work nearly as well as I'd hoped, but hopefully someone gets a cheap chuckle out of it.

Pinkie asks Spike to keep Maud company until she gets off work, but he can't just sit there and say nothing to Maud, right? But she barely talks back, so he continues filling the silence, and... well, he should have stayed quiet.

An entry from the /fic/ write-off "A Matter of Perspective."

Featured on Equestria Daily!

So where does Sunset Shimmer live? That's what her friends have been asking and it's about time they got some answers.

Based on my own headcanon on where Sunset lives.

Edited/Proofread by PixelReality. Thank you for all the help!

Lotus is a professional masseuse. She sees the pony below the skin, and tends to coax just as much out of their mouths as their muscles. Late one day, she gives three very different massages to three close friends, all of whom mention a name she isn't familiar with: Applejack.

Featured by The Royal Canterlot Library and Equestria Daily

The original version of the story took 5th place in The Writeoff Association's February 2015 contest, "Closing Time"

The nation of Equestria is struck by the most terrifying pandemic ever to afflict mortal ponies... the snuggle bug.

Artwork by the Inimitable pekou

He's the traveler, the outlaw, the blue-eyed bad man, the restless wanderer who leaves nothing but woe in his wake. He is a man that has laid low entire cities in a single night.

And he has business in Equestria.

Celestia thought that the next two weeks were going to be a nice get together with her niece and her sister, no irritating nobles, no magical end of the world nonsense, and most importantly, no Blueblood.

She did NOT expect a weird creature calling itself the Cuddle Bandit harassing her. Now Luna's in love and Cadence can't stop laughing.

.... Why can't her vacations ever be normal?

Thanks to Tstyson, MasterFrasca99, Astrocity, and Procket12 for all of the stuff they did.

A watchmen-ish silly fic by a silly, silly author. If your looking for a story with a plot or one that is well-written then read this one.

And nope, I'm not being sarcastic....

No, really...

Long passed are the days of ancient Roam, and gone is her marble splendor. Her legions, once powerful, march only in the pages of dusty books, her gods long since forgotten in all but name. Her emperors and statesmares are dust in their tombs, her flag flies no more above her ancestral lands, lands now called Equestria.

But she is not gone. Indeed, a revival may soon be hers, for there is one thing of Roam's that lives once again. It lives in the roar of crowds and the smell of oil and sand, and the clatter of wooden wheels. It lives in olive branches and colored pennants, and its name is on the lips of every pony. Chariots live once more in the hearts and minds of ponies.

Scootaloo is no different. Never quite able to claim the sky, and drifting aimlessly through her adolescent years, she stumbles upon this ancient sport, and something in it calls to her, as nothing before has. It will take years of practice, the truest of friends, and tears, sweat, and yes, even blood, but there will come a day when she can experience the rush of the wind in her mane, and the roar of the crowd in her ears.

This is a story of long-dead glory reclaimed, a story of bitter rivalry and sweet passions. This is a story of life new-lived, of speed and triumph and death and love. This is the story of the Scarlets, greatest of their time.

Applejack and Big Macintosh both have dates for the evening, but Apple Bloom isn't about to let them out of the house until her curiosity is satisfied. . .

This could be a while.

(If you are against fillyfooling or coltcuddling, this is not the fic for you.)