Anon is a villain. Not a particularly good one, but... he’s a villain. Let’s see what stupid shit he did this time.

A one-shot inspired by “If movie Villains didn’t waste time”

Blurb

What exactly did Pinkie Pie do during the time she held Discord's power? An Equestrian intelligence officer leaves a message to her successor on what little they know so far. Warning: Superintelligences and existentialism

Author's Note

Inspired by The 21-Second God, though I ended up taking it in a different direction than good ol' Squiddy.

Charlie Stross Was Right.

Vaguely planning more stuff about the Equestrian intelligence services, recontextualizing all the episodes of the series one by one to various degrees. If I end up doing that, this story will end up being one of the capstones. It'll also be a long while before I start it, if I ever do.

Also left two (2) lines from literature in there. It's possible I left even more than that inadvertently, considering I tend to repeat cool things I hear. But if you catch them let me know!

Applejack doesn't "do" dating. Everypony knows that. But after her brother and Sugar Belle get together, she decides it's finally time to give this whole "relationship" business a shot.

Only problem is, she's gonna need a bigger mailbox...

Takes place prior to Season 8.

An out-of-work Tempest Shadow has opened an eye clinic near Ponyville. Nopony is sure if the doctorate hanging in her office is official or why her retinoscope features under-barrel attachment points. And most can agree that it’s best not to ask where she got a permit to perform retinal cryopexy.

Still, she seems to know what she’s doing, and all licenses to practice appear to have been filed using the correct format and proper guidelines. That makes everything okay. Right?

They say that good armour is a Royal Guard's best friend.

Sometimes, it might be a little more literal than expected.

After all, it isn’t every day that one receives shameless self-promotion from their protective attire.

Human's have to get used to their new dimensional neighbors showing up in unexpected places.

What's the deal with ponies? Squint just a little and you can't tell one from the next.
Ember doesn't even need to squint to get the effect.
Who would have guessed that a Dragonlord would have problems that needed more than just an application of violence?

Alan, human and guest, is looking forward to a nice quiet day of sitting on the sofa watching trashy light entertainment programming with his close personal friend (and host) Princess Celestia.

Things seem a bit weird though...

Our story starts with: 'Darach Meldrak Obenhjerthe' The first of his name and clansman of the Meldrak household. Specifically it starts with the end of his life, at the hands or rather hooves, of his own horse as it accidentally tramples him to death after getting startled by a snake.

Darach had abandoned his religious ways back during the war, so when he died he expected nothing more than the cold void of nothingness, perhaps the pyres of damnation if he was unlucky.
What he got was quite a bit different from his expectations.

Reborn into the body of a horned pegasus, he would have to make sense of his new life as a small pink princess, and try not to disturb his new parents too much with his strange personality.

Behind the scenes though, strange forces begin to stir.
Change will come and in time it will be up to the young princess to face it...