Some Rough News · 5:42pm Jun 14th, 2022
I think it’s fair to say that my writing has been very inconsistent as of late. My updates for Trixie haven’t come out in a long time, and I’ve mostly been focusing on smaller one shot ideas, many of which started off as prompts from a writing group I’m in. This isn’t a typical pity post, however. I’m not going to lay the blame for all that on my emotional state or anything like that. It’s actually a lot worse.
I have cancer.
I think I’ve said it before, but I am a two times cancer survivor. The stuff runs in my family, and I’ve been told I have a particularly aggressive mutation of it times past. I’ve had sizable chunks of my leg removed to fix the problem, but this time will be a little different. The tumor is quite large, and in a rather delicate place in terms of my vascular health.
I found all this out over a month ago, but because of how impacted the hospitals still are in America, any and all forms of treatment are still weeks away despite my doctors making sure I’m on the fast track.
It’s scary, this time around. My first diagnosis was during my first semester of college. The second was about eight years after that. It’s only been a few years since then, and I’m now looking at a potential life altering surgery, chemotherapy and immunotherapy, as well as radiation treatments.
And that’s more or less the best case scenario. I suppose my head hasn’t been in the right place to write more Trixie. I have a few thousand words sitting on my computer, demanding that I finish. But because some of the things that are happening in that story hit a little too close to home right now, I’m just having trouble forcing myself to finish it.
It still feels a little unreal that I might have to write a post in the next few weeks or months that I won’t be uploading. Someone who survives me will have to upload it. A potential farewell. A statement letting everyone know what all my plans were for all the stories that I’ve been writing, or have planned to write. I’m under no illusions. The chance of that happening isn’t zero. And from some of what my doctors are preparing me for, it may be a bit more likely than I’d like to think.
This isn’t to say I’m giving up. But it’s good to have a realistic appreciation of my odds. Writing is one of the great loves of my life. I won’t quit in the face of something is paltry as death. Trixie will continue soon. And then, the other stories I want to write will follow. As long as I am able.
I’m scared. But I know I’m not alone. And every day, I give thanks knowing that there are so many people who care about my stories, and bother to open up these blogs to know how I’m doing.
All right. Pity rant over. Move it along!
Oh goodness. Paltry as it sounds, I wish you the best of luck. Definitely an understandable to not be in an especially Trixie-ish mood.
Be brave, stay strong. I wish you the best of luck and hope to see you soon.
Absolutely nothing on this site is more important than your personal health. Focus on that, and don’t feel bad about doing so. We can wait for you to get better, and if the worst should happen, we’ll miss you dearly.
There are no words I can really give...
Focus on your health, first and foremost. I wish you the best of luck, ninja.
I am so sorry to hear this. Take all the time you need to get better the story can wait, your healt is more important. Stay strong, I wish you luck and we will be waiting for you no matter.
Thank you for informing us, we are with you in spirit.
That quite understandable, you definitely want to focus on yourself with something like that.
Damn. I'm really sorry Ninja. It's totally understandable that you need more time for yourself and you're not in the mindset to write Trixie. Take your time, do what you can to improve your health, and as happy as you can despite the fear and worry.
And even if things go to the worst, know that you'll be remembered fondly. Your writing has been an amazing thing to read and experience. Your version of Trixie will forever be my favorite.
Wish you the best of luck dear friend. Here I'm hoping the next update blog is a happy one.
I hope you get better soon. You're a great writer who will be remembered fondly.
Damn.
So sorry to hear. Hope things get better for you soon.
Damn... just... DAMN
! I'm sorry, but I really don't know what else to say here 
I wish you luck in beating this damn thing
.
gives tight, comforting hug
Damn, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Best of luck with your recovery, Ninja. Here's to beating it a third time.
Oh geez. I wish you the best of luck with your recovery, Ninja! You got this!
You have all of us behind you.
Best of luck with the treatments and recovery. We’re all here for you! *hugs*
You’ve beaten it before, you’ll do it again. Stay strong Ninja and get well soon
You know what they say; third time's the charm. Really hope you'll beat that cancer a third time but whether you win or lose, you have been one of my favorite writers on the site. Stay strong.
Please take care of yourself as best you can right now.
There may be trial or experimental procedures that are looking for participants. Your doctors and Google should know.
You beat it before you can do it again! I’m cheering for you
"Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10 (ESV)
Let's pray for Jesus to grant you a fast and full healing, Ninja.
We've got your back, ninja. Kick that cancer's ass!
You'll get through this, dude. You'll kick cancer's ass so hard that it won't think twice about coming back.
I believe in you.
I pray everything goes well for you. I'm a cancer survivor myself and just came back from the MRI the other day to see how I was doing. It's always terrifying, wondering what it will be. I'm clear for now, but that fear always lingers. Still know that you have support from people wishing the best for you. I hope you get moved up.
i'm really sorry to hear, ninja. i hope and pray that the worst doesn't come to pass. best of luck with the treatments
Very sorry to hear this. I wish you the best of luck and here’s hoping you kick cancer’s ass a third time!!!!
I was going to say something along the lines of how you've touched more people than you know, but I'm glad to see so many people here showing the love already. Go kick its ass, as others have said
Pardon me, but fuck cancer. I hope your health improves soon! That comes first and foremost.
You have my deepest sympathies. Please take care!
Shit. Really sorry to hear that. Not much else I can say other than I hope things will go well.
Oh my, i wish you that you will recover from that.
*hugs*
I hope the treatment goes well. Wishing you the best!
Man, are You ok? Say something, please.
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I'm doing... okay. Was a little overwhelmed by all the kind wishes around here. I'll post an update when there's something to report, but I'm literally waiting around for impacted hospitals to have room to see me for the various scans and tests they gotta do before surgery.
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Sorry, but It was nearly 2 weeks since You wrote that post. I am already seen the news of two sudden death of good authors here I do not really wish to see the third.
Good luck, my friend - you got this!
*warm, lingering hug*
Take all the time you need to get better. I'm looking forward to receiving the news of your third victory against cancer.