An Apology and Withdrawal · 2:17am Nov 22nd, 2020
In my last blog post I proposed having a tag for stories with controversial or disturbing content, such as stories featuring glorified racism or rape fetishes. As I have since learned, I made several critical mistakes in doing this.
1) By including foalcon among the examples of disturbing content, I was seen by some as trivializing child sexual abuse by comparing it with other, less disturbing things.
2) Although I was most concerned about foalcon stories that slip under the radar because they aren't sexually explicit, and those stories invariably use the "romance" Fimfiction tag, referring to foals and "romance" suggested I was normalizing and defending the act of grooming children for sex.
3) By trying to use language like "romance" rather than "child grooming" so authors of foalcon would understand I was referring to their stories, it appeared that I cared more about what authors of foalcon think than about the safety of children, which suggested an interest in harming children.
4) Trying to explain myself and why I used those words was also a mistake. This was seen as an attempt to defend the abuse of children, and in doing so, promote and spread pedophile apologia to cause additional harm to children.
5) More than one user said that this was a bad idea altogether because I should instead be joining a drive to remove this content from Fimfiction, and trying to shield disturbing content was actually helping people hurt children, because it normalized the fact that such content is an accepted part of Fimfiction.
Yes, it's true that I lack conviction in the idea that fictional stories make it any more likely that children will be abused. That's not the point. I made a proposal that seemed to be a defense of child abuse. When I tried to explain, that also seemed like a defense of child abuse.
I swear I did not see any of this coming. I had no idea anything in the proposal looked like a defense of child abuse. However, I have a hard time understanding things socially because I have significant deficits (I'm almost certainly on the autism spectrum) and I'm always making mistakes like this. One user said that stories I've written were intended to support and glorify child molestation, and called me a deviant pedophile. Nothing I have written is intended to support the abuse of children. Still, I can see how someone could come to that conclusion. And although I feel like I've been misunderstood and mischaracterized, I'm not the victim here. I should have been able to see that this would happen. I didn't see any of this until it was too late. This is strictly my fault.
The entire point behind my proposal was to shield people from this sort of content, but it was a bad idea that brought tremendous pushback. In the process of trying to explain myself, I have said many things that some users consider harmful to children, and there is no way to take back what I've done. I've already been blocked by one author I considered a friend, at what was already one of the lowest points in my life, and I can't place blame on anyone but me.
For whatever it's worth, I'm sorry.
For a long time I've been worried I would eventually need to leave Fimfiction given the mistakes I make. A few years ago, I left the Discord channel for the Writeoff after playing Tirek's advocate in defending the thesis behind the society in my story Geldings (the idea that in a world with voluntary but widespread reduction of testosterone, crime would be lower). Last year I left the Writeoff for the same thing that happened in my previous blog post: people considered something I wrote to be a defense of pedophilia, despite the story containing no sexual interaction between foals and adults, and despite the fact that stories with far more controversial content on that topic (including an FiO story that explicitly featured foal rape in a positive light), had previously been entered into the competition without incident. But in my case, at least eighteen other authors were absolutely incensed, and the it wasn't just the story, but my attempt to explain myself, what the story meant (it was entirely allegorical), and how the depression that I deal with over social stupidity was making it very hard for me to interact properly that day. That Writeoff happened on the same weekend I was disciplined at work for doing an horrid, insulting thing that only a crazy person (me) would consider to be socially acceptable, and it angered a visiting employee at me so much that he contacted my boss, the head of the department, the head of the college, and the head of the University. I didn't face disciplinary action because it was a mistake, but I was already in a bad place and that led to even more social missteps. It was very clear how most of the authors felt. I left the Writeoff because I realized it would be a better place without me as part of it. That happened a year ago, and I've missed being a part of it every day between then and now, but I did the right thing.
I often feel the world in general would be better without me in it, and I certainly feel that way right now. I do not need intervention. I'm not a suicide risk. I need to stay alive for my husband and my parents, because my death would absolutely crush them, and they are more important than I am. Even if I don't feel like it's true, I realize there is probably some way for me to learn to make things in this world better more often than I inadvertently make them worse. However, I'm pretty sure at this point that, at the very least, Fimfiction would be a better place without me. And with this nightmarish new ME/CFS disability, it is absolutely exhausting to deal with painful emotions. My depression was barely kept at bay to begin with, and feeling strong things totally wipes you out if you have ME/CFS. I put so much emotional effort into trying to reach out to people this time, and it just made things worse. After writing and editing this post, I have nothing left to give. I'll need to spend all of tomorrow recovering in bed because I've spent too many spoons.
For everything I've done here, I apologize. I know that's probably meaningless now, but I still have to say it.
Most of what I've been accused of is not true. Still, those of you who have told me I don't belong here are correct. I am not a good person, I write stories specifically to express all the awful trauma I've been through, and making that expression public is sometimes a terrible mistake. In the process of writing stories here and making friends, I have corrupted this wonderful resource and made it worse for my involvement. Apart from Twitter, which is a time waste that never makes me feel good (and I should probably also abandon), Fimfiction is the only creative outlet I have left. It's going to hurt a lot to lose it. I don't have any idea what I'm going to do next other than withdraw socially and try to find a new solution to dealing with the pain. But I've slowly and surely become convinced it would be selfish and harmful for me to remain here, so I don't think I have a choice to make.
My current plan is to leave up my stories for a few days, then delete the ones that have generated the most controversy and anger. This will obviously include everything in the "You Probably Shouldn't Read These" and "You Definitely Shouldn't Read These" bookcases, but also: Nipples, Back to Normal, As Long as You Both Shall Live, The Sissified Swap, Polyphileos, A Cry for Help, Five Moons, Tiara's Testament, Pictures of Me, Thorax the Red-Nosed Bughorse (also the YouTube videos where I sing the carols), and Winter Heat. I think that's everything. If there's something I missed that needs to be removed, please PM me, and I'll add it to the list (I'll check my PM's before deleting everything). If you're not comfortable interacting with me, you can tell someone else to do it for you. I'm certain that bookplayer would be willing to do that, or if you aren't comfortable with her, Admiral Biscuit or PresentPerfect will. The rest of my stories will remain up because readers should not have to suffer for my mistakes, and I know some of my stories have genuinely helped people deal with loss and trauma of their own—not enough to justify the mistakes I've made, but enough to justify leaving those memories intact. I don't know if I will keep copies of the stories I'm deleting offsite. If I do, I'm not planning to make them available, so if for some unfathomable reason you want to keep one, please do so before Wednesday.
I don't think I'll change my mind about any of this, but having lived with treatment-resistant clinical depression for most of my life, I'm aware I may be seeing the world through the fractured lens of mental illness right now. So I don't know for certain what's going to happen next, but I need you to know I'm not doing this to play games. The worst part of this for me is knowing people will think this is for show, or that I'm trying to get sympathy. That's what people accused me of when I left the Writeoff, and when that happens the only thing I can do is leave, because that shows I actually do care enough about other people to sacrifice something I love—thus making that thing better in the process, and helping the other people who use it. And yes, I know I do talk about having depression sometimes, and I've probably even mentioned the suicide attempt at some point, but never to be popular. I've rarely given you guys any indication of just how bad my depression is because I don't want your sympathy or your help. Just for one example of how I hold back, did you know I have Tourette syndrome? I can suppress it around other people, but when I drive in my car I'm constantly screaming at the top of my lungs (I am not exaggerating about the volume, when I'm more depressed it gets louder) various things like "I need to kill myself", "please don't hurt me", "I'm sorry I love you", and (my personal favorite) "I'm not crazy". I have no idea what's about to come out of my stupid mouth until it has, and that's just about as unpleasant to experience as it sounds. You didn't know that because I've never told anyone other than my husband (who sometimes overhears me, unfortunately) and health care professionals (as far as I can remember, at least—due to ME/CFS and electroconvulsive therapy, my memory is really, really bad). I haven't ever discussed the details of what I go through here because I don't want attention over it. If you reach out for help with mental illness, people always assume you're trying to get attention, and I cannot tolerate being seen that way. I don't even want to be reminded of how messed up I am inside, much less type all this horrid stuff I'm typing right now. Once again, I'm not at risk for suicide right now, so I do not need your help or intervention, but: the way you can know that for certain that I am NOT at risk, is that I'm openly talking about it. If I wanted to follow through with killing myself, I wouldn't post anything, not even a goodbye. I'd just do it.
So, no. I'm not interested in making readers feel sad or comment "oh no poor baby" or anything like that. I know some of you will want me to stay, no matter how badly I keep screwing things up, and I'm very sorry about that, but I can't let that be part of the equation. I need to do what's best for everyone, not just the people who tolerate me, and I need this to be over because I am totally, completely unable to cope with it emotionally. Many of you won't believe me and I'll be labeled an attention whore and a manipulative deviant. As much as that hurts, there's nothing I can do to stop that. Unless I'm really, really not seeing things clearly, it seems pretty obvious at this point that the only thing I can do to make things better is leave. Then you won't have to deal with drama from me again, just like how the Writeoff has been free from my influence for over a year now. So even if you think the worst of me, I hope you're able to have some comfort from this.
Besides, if I say all this drama-laden histrionic stuff right now, it makes it very difficult for me to change my mind and stay. I'll look like a manipulative self-serving hypocrite for letting people talk me out of doing what I'd said I intended to do, which would at least warn people about dealing with me in the future.
That's all, but I need to say one last thing.
I appreciate the experiences I've had here, and what I've been able to learn. I love each and every one of you, even those who despise me, and I've been humbled to call you my friends for as long as I was able to. If I survive this, whatever happens I hope my experiences will teach me to grow into a better person and make a net positive difference in the world. Thank you for reading my stories, and I hope you have a pleasant holiday season (despite the pandemic).
...... don't leave.... please don't leave.
I hope you sleep on this for a bit before coming to the final decision. I don't think anything you've done is unforgivable, and your presence is greatly appreciated.
Trick,
I cannot speak for anypony else on or off the site, and I certainly cannot speak for you. But if I may, I'd like to speak for myself.
I know I joined the site too late, but I like to think in other circumstances we would have become friends. I fondly recall reading a few of your stories as they hit the feature box a few years ago, including "The Element of Surprise", but I only made the connection they were all you when I stumbled across Broken Symmetry, the story I literally created a dedicated Favourites bookshelf to put it on. Broken Symmetry was many things to me: an excellent work of fiction by itself, the catalyst of a Wikipedia deep dive about CPT symmetry, and a lesson in elaborate plots (the horse word equivalent of what the musical Rent was for me). Shortly after reading Broken Symmetry, I poured through your stories list and found no shortage of prose, ranging from heartwarming to bittersweet to downright horrifying, all compelling. Stories like "Holding Pattern" continue to haunt me with questions to this day, and that is no easy feat. Kudos for that.
Simply put - my life is better for having the opportunity to read your stories.
I am only peripherally aware of the aforementioned drama, what I know is from your blog posts themselves. If it means anything - and I will freely note I am on the autism spectrum myself - the few times we have crossed paths you have been nothing but kind to me. You're someone I have looked up to in the fandom. This does not change that.
You note some readers will comment wanting you to stay. I am not here to tell you or anypony else what to do. If you have so decided -- it seems you have -- I respect that. But I do want you to know before you go, I will miss you. I don't know if you are departing from pony folks entirely or just from the site -- maybe this is implied and I missed the cue. On the off chance you want it, I can PM my off-site email address. As you know, I am happy to talk about not only My Little Pony but also unabashed math/CS nerdery. But if this is the last time we hear from each other, I want you to know I feel grateful for having had the opportunity to know you through your stories.
Thank you for sharing your stories with me, for your kindness to me, for inspiring me.
May you find peace in whatever comes next.
~Fillyfoolish
I don't like any of this. :(
Guess it's a good thing I'm reading Winter Heat tomorrow.
It's impossible to please everyone, but pissing off everyone is super easy.
Oh damn it, this makes me so angry to see. Trick, you didn't say or do anything that you need to apologize for. I understand that you probably aren't in the best headspace after dealing with the abuse you received in the other thread, but please don't let a bunch of internet bullies chase you off the site.
Foalcon is not promoting child abuse. Frick everyone who is chasing another talented author off this site because they feel they possess complete moral authority over everything. You're killing the fandom. Congratulations.
I’ll echo what FoME said, I hope this isn’t something too impulsive. I haven’t seen nearly as much of you as some others have, but I’ve quite often liked what I did see, and if writing here is a coping mechanism for you, I’d really like for you to be able to keep doing that. But if the baggage that comes with it is too difficult to deal with, leaving doesn’t sound like the worst choice. And if you do, I hope you’re able to find something else that works for you.
Trick, don't make this decision while it's still heavily colored by a recent singular bad incident. That's a dangerous trap that many people fall into, but often it tends to cut them off from support or the ability to enjoy good things in their life precisely when those are things they may need the most.
If it's hard to be here right now, just take a break from FimFic for a while - a week, a month, whatever - until you're not thinking about it so much anymore. As you've pointed out yourself, a lot of your stories have been pretty important. They matter, and your participation here has mattered. Wait until you're seeing the events of a single day in its proper context as part of the totality of your contribution over years.
Then decide.
Don't let bullies win.
Block negative sources of information.
Do what you believe to be best.
Be at your best, though, to know that.
~ Yr. Pal, B
Hi,
I have not read a lot of your stuff, but what I have read has been good, and what it has made me feel even better.
I have all my life been struggling with Asperger spectrum disorder (which most likely doesn't translate at all)... and the only advice I can really give is to "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" as in ignoring all the problems you can get away with, pretend they don't exist. and "chose your battles" is especially important when you don't have the energy to do all of them. I have spent way too much of my life learning to pretend to be neurotypical and will spend more in the future, but I feel it is worth it to achieve a safe and stable every day.
I will miss you and may you be happy with whatever is next
Don't apologize for this. All you tried to do was start a conversation. It's not your fault that some people around here lack the intelligence to engage properly in a discussion, and instead only call names and make empty accusations.
Unfortunately, foalcon is becoming an increasingly polarizing topic around here. Perhaps that is again bleedover from real life. There is a lot of child grooming and abuse going on in the real world, and what's more, a lot of it is coming to light only recently. Worse even than that is the push (however minimal it might be [at the moment]) for the normalization of pedophilia. It upsets people. And then you get shit like this happening. It's pushback from both sides.
You know, honestly Trick, I was considering fucking off from FimFic very recently. When that whole bullshit nazi scare happened, every libtard on here started spewing some horseshit about how some people should not be allowed the privelige of free speech. You know, a basic human right. Well I, being the fool that I am, thought I might point that out, and tried to engage in intelligent discussion. Well there was no intelligence to be found, I'm afraid, and everypony and their dog decided that I was a raving nazi. Well, it hurt me. A deep, crappy kind of a hurt. Partly because I had built a very modest reputation around these parts, and I felt like I had soiled my image. But also partly because I lost faith in the people here. As if it wasn't bad enough that people here in droves were demanding censure of whoever they deemed [x], they also were so weak-minded and ignorant as to just label others [x] for merely disagreeing with them, and decided they weren't worth shit.
Honestly I'm still hurting from that. But I decided to that I should just keep my political opinions (as if supporting freedom of speech is now somehow a radical political opinion that's unacceptable in polite society [I hate the fucking world right now]) to myself, with the exception of the Unsafe Space group. So I have an outlet to bitch and moan if I need it. And if some people unfollow me, well fuck them, that's their loss, not mine.
Anyway, I hope you feel better about all this. Just remember that you might not be perfect, but some people are just assholes.
Trixie, I just want to say publically, you are the single bravest woman I know. I've always admired your ability to be your authentic self, and your willingness to tackle things that other people wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, knowing perfectly well your unique perspective wasn't going to give most people what they wanted to hear. I suspect that magic power was hard won, and those battles left scars (along with the downsides of some of the things that make your perspective so unique.) If you can't manage the fight forever, I understand. You've given us more of your true self for longer than almost any of us could have managed.
Just know that I admire you, and I salute you. I'm proud my Trixie shares your name, and I hope she grows up to be as fearless as you.
There's a lot of replies over there, many of them quite long, but in some cases (though statistically, probably not all) this may be a case of cognitive dissonance. Turns out people are pretty shit at saying why a thing upset them, but pretty not shit at expressing it, and the resulting frustration gets translated into written word where it loses (I forget the exact stat, but something like 80-90%) of its meaning from inflection, pitch, emphasis, etc.
The first and last rule of writing niche content is that some people are going to like it, and a lot of people aren't. And those people are going to have opinions.
But yes, for what it's worth, I would be in favor of a Deripbooru-style tag system to help me find more of the things I do like and filter out the things I don't. FimFiction is an amazing site that lowkey is one of the reasons I'm proud to be a brony, don't get me wrong, but Derpi is just buttery smooth and endlessly taggable.
You are a joy to engage with Trick. i love seeing your tweets and it does bring me joy whenever i get added to one of your bookshelfs (though... i am curious why my e and t fics keep getting added to your fap list... that is rather concerning). Sorry you're receiving this kind of backlash. i for one loved your idea and was suggesting a similar system when the whole derpibooru stuff was going on.
Trick, I've been a big supporter of your work, and a Patreon supporter for a while as well. I've loved your works, but, I am aware you are a person, not some writing machine for my entertainment.
If you need to leave this site, for whatever reason, than I support that decision. While it's not my favorite solution, I don't know your full life story, and it is unfair for me, or anyone else, to judge you or the decisions you make. For what its worth, I though your last post sounded very reasonable, it was acknowledging that those stories exist on FiM, and trying to come up with a way to sort them in a way that makes the most people happy. Clearly, plenty of people didn't see it that way.
This comment isn't a plea for you to stay, as ultimately, that would be very selfish of me; as I said, if leaving this site is what's best for your health, then that's what needs to happen
It's tough having views with any degree of moderation - there is no safe flank.
I think leaving FimFiction over such a relatively niche issue would be an overreaction, however.
It reflects well on your character that you don't just accept things being imperfect and are willing to consider and articulate possible improvements. All ideas are flawed, but suggestions can at least be considered and play a part in the ecosystem of thought towards moving to something better. It saddens me that so many people are willing to forget their larger experience with someone's character in reacting to one thing.
I can't will away any pain you feel from the comments, but disagree that your absence would benefit FimFiction. Not just for missing your writing talent, but just your presence as a thoughtful individual. Your loss would be a loss among the voices of nuance, who at least try, and gradually cede the field to more extreme views.
I'm sad to see anyone in the fandom go - especially talented authors such as yourself, but even those I personally find distasteful. I believe there being less discourse is one of the current ills of society, and the hollowing out of communities like this, where those with differing views have at least some commonalities and intersection, will not help.
That said, if the experience has soured for you and FimFiction has gone from being a boon to taking a toll on your mental health, then you should always safeguard yourself first. But if you think it will benefit FimFiction, I would disagree, and urge you to take a breather and let things settle, rather than do something permanent.
The one commenter on the previous journal is not actually worth engaging with on topics touching human sexuality, for what it's worth. Their identity seems to fuel a sort of contempt for the rest of us, and they don't seem to see any irony in taking strong, black and white moral stances on an area of human experience they will hasten to remind you that they aren't a part of.
Take a week off; it does wonders for ones emotional state.
Don't apologize on the internet; it makes the speaker look submissive and weak. Vulnerable to bullying.
I've seen you apologize in every blog and comment you've made (that I've seen). It is no surprise that you get harassed.
You speak your mind; I like you.
Okay, reading through this again, I realized that this statement here upsets me more than anything else about this situation. Please, please, please do not let yourself think like this. If writing helps you work through or deal with trauma, then don't let others tell you that's wrong. I know first hand what living past a suicide attempt is like. I've been there, and even though I'm on a much better place now, there's still that ever present voice that pops up at every hardship reminding you how much easier it would be to just kill yourself than deal with the issue. I'm glad you have a support network, but anything else that helps you press on beyond that thought should never be something you're ashamed of doing.
If this site has become toxic for you, then remove yourself from it, either temporarily or permanently depending on what you feel is best. Obviously I think most people here would prefer if you came back, but again, do what you feel is best for your mental health. But continue to write what helps you work through trauma, even if your not comfortable sharing it any longer. You're under no obligation to anyone but yourself. I wish you the best, and am sorry for what you're going through.
(reads this at 2AM) Um, What they said. Because I can't put two words together at 2AM.
5402716
Good points right there.
And, admittedly, I would hate for those few people hell-bent on choking out of FimFiction whatever content they don't want to see to get their will in this. That is NOT to say you are what they accuse you of being, Trixie, but at this point, it seems pretty clear they've made up their minds already and arguing anything with them just might be pointless.
For what it's worth, I read you as explicitly not defending child abuse, and explicitly saying it was bad, which I believe genuinely reflects your views. You were just also taking the view that things may be permissible, even beneficial, in fiction that would be very much not acceptable in reality... which I realize, admittedly, there isn't universal agreement with, particularly on sensitive subjects like this, but I tend to agree with it.
And also for what it's worth, while I may not have been, reading your post before reading the comments, trying to predict what the comments would be, I doubt I'd have predicted "Yes, this'll have her mistaken for an advocate of child abuse" either. I mean, granted, I'm also neurologically abnormal and a bit socially impaired, but from my perspective at least I can sympathize with you not seeing it coming.
Thank you for clarifying you didn't need an intervention, and because you had other reasons you fully recognized to stay alive.
I hope your spoon recovery goes well, and I'm sorry you're suffering so much from this.
I quite disagree that it would be selfish and harmful for you to remain here, and I do not see you as having corrupted FIMFiction. However, while I think it would be a pity for you to leave, I don't want you to suffer, either, and I don't think you have an obligation to be here if it would only mean more suffering for you. I hope both that you'll reconsider leaving and that things will get better, but if you have to go for your own wellbeing, I do hope you find something else that works for you, and better.
I also do not think this is for show. My impression of you does not have you as the sort of person who'd do such a thing. I think you are mistaken about your external situation, but I think you are voicing your actually depression-overboosted-but-genuine-to-you feelings; that I don't think it should be hurting you this much and hope it will stop doing so doesn't mean that it isn't so hurting you, or that it's your fault it is.
"I know some of you will want me to stay, no matter how badly I keep screwing things up"
And to reiterate what I said above: I want you to stay, but not no matter how much it hurts you. If other people are going to misunderstand you and get upset... well, I understand that in turn making you upset, but I view that more as their problem (I say, carefully looking away from my own social anxiety; do as I say, not as I do, and all that...).
...Mind you, I've just tried wading through some of the comment thread on the previous post, and it hurt a bit to even skim as a peripheral participant, so... Yeah. I do not blame you for not wanting to deal with that sort of thing.
"Besides, if I say all this drama-laden histrionic stuff right now, it makes it very difficult for me to change my mind and stay."
Sigh. There is also that, and what you say in the rest of the paragraph.
Well, I think it's a pity, but as I've said, I can't blame you too much, either, and you've clearly been being hurt here. Do what you need to, and fair winds and good luck to you. I'm sorry your time here seems to be ending this way.
"I appreciate the experiences I've had here, and what I've been able to learn. I love each and every one of you, even those who despise me, and I've been humbled to call you my friends for as long as I was able to. If I survive this, whatever happens I hope my experiences will teach me to grow into a better person and make a net positive difference in the world. Thank you for reading my stories, and I hope you have a pleasant holiday season (despite the pandemic)."
I'm glad you still have that appreciation and love, and thank you, Trixie. Even with how little actual interaction I've had with you and how little of your work I've gotten around to actually reading, I've appreciated knowing you, too. Thank you for being here. :)
5402683
"Trixie, I just want to say publically, you are the single bravest woman I know. I've always admired your ability to be your authentic self"
I've been going through and reading and upvoting comments, but that quote, yes. I don't know that I know you well enough to go as far as "single bravest", but it's at least possible, and I know was was very impressed when I met you at the last Bronycon.
If you, after seeing the comments here and having some distance and time to think, still feel that you must exercise discretion as the better part of valor, I still hope it goes well for you, but... well, not entirely sure what I want to say, but I wanted to join bookplayer in highlighting that particular point.
For what it's worth, I like having you around. Your contributions to the conversion around Laissez-Fate in its Writeoff debut would not, could not, have come from anybody else, by way of example. And you did in fact shape some bits of how the final product came out. I appreciate you.
That said, do what's best for you. For you. I can't imagine your emotional state with so many confounding factors, but if taking a break gets you a drawer of spoons, then do what you have to do. Just make sure it is what you want, not what other people think they want.
Nuts.
If people are deliberately misreading what you wrote, with the intention of scoring drama points and winning a fight that's entirely in their own heads, they aren't worth listening to.
I can only echo bookplayer and others like her. I'll also say, though I don't actively follow you, I've always appreciated your presence around these parts.
It is unfair that you have been bullied into this position.
Finally, regardless of everything and whatever I, or anyone else might say, your mental well-being comes first.
Trick Question, before you do anything, please read this to the end...
I can relate a lot to how you feel right now. A few months back, when the whole 'Aryanny debacle' started on Derpi and later here, a lot hit me at the same time:
Back then, I was so worked up over everything that I pretty much began believing those people that I am a worthless POS. That I am a bastard that deserves a noose around his neck for all the 'crimes' he has committed. At one point, I hit 'f*ck it...' and began writing a lengthy blog post about leaving... and I mean more than just this site...
Thankfully, we had a shitstorm at work back then that kept me off the site for about a week, and that let me cool down. The entire thing gave me a good perspective on how destructive some people can really be.
Some of these people really have 'white knight syndrome' and believes they're working towards good. Others are just a-holes that like to torment people and hide behind a veil of 'social justice.' Frankly, I don't care anymore - the history knows too many deaths and suffering that came from people acting in what they believed was 'good faith' at the time...
Back to your post, what YOU need to know is this:
ONE:
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! And don't let them tell you otherwise! You tried to tackle a serious problem with a simple solution that looked good at the time. You just made a bunch of incorrect assumptions - it happens to all of us. Don't beat yourself over it. It was a good try
.
TWO:
NOTHING you wrote was defending sex offenders or normalizing violence towards anyone. I'm not gonna argue with people who CLAIM they're experts, but a few years back, I read multiple pedophilia studies from the past few years, and they were claiming the EXACT OPPOSITE of what 'experts' here say.
The studies I read suggested that the best solution - one that would protect children the most and help non-offending pedophiles just live their life as normal people - was to give non-offending pedophiles a virtual environment (fiction, stories, pictures of fake CGI children, etc.) to allow them to let out their urges in a controlled environment.
I'm not gonna argue which study holds more value today. Maybe what I read back then was later debunked. But... it would be consistent with the studies on brutal video games and other fictional stuff that in the past was accused of creating psychos - and later debunked. Let's leave it at that...
THREE:
Look, I don't know you all that well as a user, but I have seen you trying to help people here with depressing stuff multiple times, and this is THE EXACT OPPOSITE of what a bad person would do. I think the conditions you mentioned are clouding your judgment here. I mean, Jesus! Even if, for the sake of argument, we assume that some things you said were wrong, so what? We all make mistakes. Don't beat yourself over it! Don't treat yourself as some POS over the words of a bunch of virtual people here. Been there, done that, it's not worth it
.
To finish up, I advise you to turn off FimFiction and sleep on your choice for a week or so. Then get back here and make the final decision on what to remove, what to leave, whether to stay or leave. That way, you'll at least decide with a clear head.
That said, I believe I speak for everyone here when I say 'Stay!':
memegenerator.net/img/instances/54456708/dont-give-the-prick-the-satisfaction-sir.jpg
I have read most of your stories and many of them have made me uncomfortable. That is a good thing. Quality writing makes us think and contemplate. I never had the impression that the subject matter was simply picked for shock value or titillation.
You wrote that writing helped you cope with depression; well, reading your stories also helped with mine. Should you go through with this, I will miss your works dearly.
That being said, your well-being takes priority - if the drama on FimFiction is getting to you, a break would certainly be in order. I would plead with you not to make any rash decisions though. Talk things through with your husband, sleep on it, then decide (and maybe come back one day?).
As a final note, I haven't followed the comment meltdown on your blog post, but I did read the blog in question and didn't interpret it in the manner you're being accused of preaching. There are also multiple related points to consider:
- People are wired differently according to their experiences and expectations and will read different things into your words. When all you have is a hammer...
- The loudest voices rarely speak for the majority; people tend to only pipe up when they feel threatened or have something to complain about.
- Negative comments are the ones that stick in our memory.
What I'm getting at is this: some people seem to hate you and what you do and are now at the forefront of your mind. This doesn't mean that others don't value you or your work. The only way to avoid bile is to only produce perfectly inoffensive material that leaves most readers indifferent, and chances are that someone will hate you for that.
Sorry to see you go but not sure I can say anything that others have not. I have enjoyed your stories
Well, who am I to tell you what you should or shouldn't do?
(But I really hope you won't leave.)
I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling, because (And because I genuinely mean this) I like you. I met you years ago and met you in person during a BC room party and have enjoyed you ever since. I don't read a lot of your works because of my own traumas, but having you on the site and reading your interesting views always appeals.
Reading this was like hearing the inside of my own depression filled mind. You are viewing this world through an incredibly skewed lens.
I know I might not be able to convince you to stay and maybe you're right, maybe leaving and ending the fight *is* the better option, but I know I'll feel poorer for not having your wit and insight around.
No matter what you choose, I'll support you. And if that means you choose to leave, then I hope things get better for you because you really do deserve better than you've gotten.
If you must step away for health reasons, consider not destroying your art. This is the internet. It's the best worst incarnation of the human experience. FIM is not immune to this fact. In my experience the internet allows for the greatest of truths and the most hideous of lies. What also occurs is both a lack of maturity and consequence for various actions. If this causes you great suffering, step back and heal yourself, but don't destroy your legacy. Every time someone deletes their works because of the net bully, we are diminished as a whole. You actually tried to help with a problem and found out that no good deed goes unpunished. Once again the haters win. Please don't let that happen. I'm really old, retired, 31 years of military service, 5 combat tours, survivor of well over 200 mortar attacks, and have PTSD like all get out. The reason I tell you this is...I come here to FIM to get away from my day to day. I even tried to write a story. It had "FALLOUT EQUESTRIA " in the title and got bombed within two minutes of publishing the first chapter. One, I'm not a writer, but my wife has a bachelor's in journalism. She read my story and gave it a go ahead. So it could not be too bad? Then I found out that there are some individuals that simply troll anything that has "FALLOUT EQUESTRIA " in the title. Lesson learned....still have not finished the story, but left it here. I read FIM for pleasure now . The trolls can't stop me.
Firstly I just want to second you taking the time to mull on this before doing anything rash. I know that's frustrating and you're in a bad place right now, but I think it's worth looking at things with a clearer head.
I know of very few people who are able to express themselves with the clarity that you do. You consistently cut right through the bullshit in a manner that's honestly beautiful to watch sometimes. In that last blog post alone, there are countless examples of you expressing yourself with transparency and humility, taking great pains and expending great effort to state honestly your position, to explain what you believe and why, even in the face of people who are misrepresenting and wronging you. You (ironically, given your handle) do not trick, or weasel, or use rhetoric - you put all your cards on the table, expose all of your weaknesses, illuminate ambiguities, and give opponents every opening to attack you - because you know it's the honest thing to do.
The fact that people are weaponizing your integrity against you is simply disgusting, and damaging too. There are few people who could be a more worthy, more helpful opponent in an argument than you. Heck, I sometimes wish we disagreed on more things just so I could have an honest-to-goodness discussion with someone who isn't flinging turds at everyone who opposes them.
If we don't defend people like you, all we'll have left are the shits who scream the loudest - at which point it's time to go, because nothing can be done for a community that's lost the ability to reason. I'm sorry I didn't speak up for you sooner.
It breaks my heart to see you pushed into doubting yourself like this. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk about anything.
As others have said, I hope you mull this over. Fimfic and the world at large needs your unique perspective, and the fact that it makes some of us uncomfortable is one of the reasons why.
I can only hope you do what's best for you, and that if you leave us that you find another creative outlet. I'm grateful we've crossed paths, and hope this isn't the last time. Take care!
Take some time to focus on something other than horse-words. I don’t know you personally, so I cannot give any more specific (and therefore useful) advice than that. Perhaps you find other types of words you prefer (or they simply have less dramatic communities). Perhaps you publish your pony fics with no author’s name attached, freed to rise or sink with no connection to your name [or, alternately, you start a new imprint for a post-pandemic world]. Maybe you find that you like golfing or brushing the manes of real-life horses. Even if your adventures mean you don’t return here, we can always still enjoy the stories you left behind.
I can only speak to my own feelings of knowing the world would be a better place without me and how I dealt with them. How did I deal with them? By accepting my role as the villain. Yes, the world would be better off without me, yet I’m still here to make your [in the generic sense, not directed at any current reader] day worse: it’s your [same generic sense as before] move now.
5402892
The Internet Archive and the quarterly Fimfiction dump torrents are an invaluable resource if the worst happens and the clout grifters win.
5402797
“Normalize” is the spooky action at a distance one claims when there is no real logical link in the reasoning as to why something should be banned. It’s always used to go after trivial offenses because there is less chance of violent pushback than by going after those who peddle the truly awful.
I like how there are a bunch of ignorant, weak-minded people actively going out of their way to read all these comments and downvote them. Yet they haven't got the balls to actually say something. They just lurk here, and downvote all these comments by good people trying to help and encourage someone who's hurting right now. It's really pathetic. Why are you losers sitting here reading all this stuff if you hate it so much? You need to go do something productive with your life, so the rest of us can get on with ours.
As an actual victim of sexual abuse when I was a young child, I just want to say fuck absolutely everyone who tries to claim that foalcon (and similar content) is evil. This sort of content does not turn people into pedophiles, it does not "normalize" pedophilia, it certainly does not advocate in favor of it, and as far as grooming goes people who are trying to groom someone will use absolutely anything available to do so. Toys, pizzas, cartoon shows, balloons, video games, if it's something kids like they will use it to try to get to them. Should we ban all those things too? Of course not. These things are not created for evil purposes, and their primary purpose is nowhere near the ballpark of that.
Now certain things are dangerous, and that's why we keep them away from kids, but of course someone who wants to harm a child will seek out these things and the reality is that there's nothing that can be done about that. We can't just ban things that have value to many people just because some people might use them to harm someone. Knives are used to stab people, but they are also used to cut food. I view foalcon content as very similar to a knife- dangerous in the wrong hands, should be kept away from children, but absolutely not evil on its own and having many positive uses. Myself, as a survivor I seek such content as a means of overcoming my own pain. It is very much like how rape victims will often seek out erotica featuring rape; it's a coping mechanism, and it's a very empowering one too- fapping to something that was a traumatic experience, instead of crying or shutting down over it, is a powerful way to say "this has no power over me".
It's 2am and I'm having a hard time putting my thoughts into words so this all came out very rambly so I'm cutting myself off here, but this just made me so angry that I had to say something. These people don't care about victims, they don't care about children's safety, and their crusade against the freedom of expression is making the world feel like a far less safe place for those of us who have actually experienced real abuse in our lives. There are fewer and fewer places where survivors are welcome, and I hate watching this fandom turn into yet another one. Please take some time for yourself to put some distance between all these events, and reconsider your decision to remove your valued contributions.
I'm going to go against the grain here, shower me in downvotes if you like. The people in that thread had some reason to think what they did. Were they ultimately correct? No, I don't think so. But they don't attack you because they are bullies or some other inane reason. I think this could have been avoided.
This all happened due to a huge misunderstanding. No one is guilty (Edit: I said this wrong. Some people are obviously guilty of some things, but what I meant was that at the very least, everyone initially had some good reasons to believe what they did). Going back, I can understand why they reached the conclusions they did, and I was a little sympathetic even, until I carefully re-read everything to decipher exactly what everyone's arguments were. If they still insist on misrepresenting you here, that's a different story. We have a chance now, a chance to reconcile and make things better between you and them.
But there's still two more things left to do. The first thing is for them to realize what you were really trying to say in that blog and in your comments. They were wrong, and said some very nasty things about you because of it. It's on them to realize where they went wrong and apologize. The second thing is for you to make your stance on this pedophilic content on this site crystal clear. It should not be here, it certainly does not belong here. It exudes a horrid, corrupting atmosphere over this website. The reason so many were willing to believe you were defending child sexual abuse is because your stance on this content is... pretty rocky. You seemed to defend its presence here on the site, but it was still a little ambiguous what your true beliefs are about what should be done about it. So then, here's your chance to prove your detractors wrong and say you think this vile content has no place on Fimfiction and is better off gone and removed, for good.
5402667
Yawn. Today is nothing special, people have always been offended. The video is very poorly constructed.
5403454
The only ones who are being downvoted are people like you who going after other users for dubious reasons and claiming to be victims of some poorly-defined group. That's what they don't like. So stop pretending they coming here to attack the people are just offering support.
In what way is it being normalized?
Yeah, those stupid libtards, all they can do is namecalling and labelling! (The irony, it hurts)
This debate was never about free speech or any fundamental right. It's pony website, your rights aren't being violated.
5402797
Huk, I know you mean well, so please hear me out.
I don't know what reasons these people gave for calling you a bigot, but you don't seem to get what they're saying, just like so many people didn't get what Trick Question was really trying to say. There is a reason we don't just have a universal "love and tolerate" attitude toward absolutely everyone. We must exercise discretion if we wish to keep this place in a good state. yes, we don't believe we should put up with all the many reactionaries of this site, but it doesn't make us hateful or intolerant. You cannot simultaneously put up with toxic reactionaries and have a tolerant community. Do you see why this is?
I've been slandered too, had accusations hurled at me. And each time, it was not from these supposedly hateful lefties, but from the ever-tolerant free speech warriors of this site. You probably know what I've been called by a few people here. Hell, you yourself have implied a couple nasty things about me too.
What are you talking about here?
5403491
^ THIS.
5403494
This comment, and your comment on the other blog are two of the most mixed, underhanded calls for a truce that I have ever seen.
It's like when someone says a sentence with the word 'but' in it, and suddenly all that stuff before the 'but' doesn't matter.
"I agree with you, BUT..."
"I want to be friends with you, BUT..."
"I'm sorry, BUT..."
"I'm not calling you a pedophile sympathizer, BUT..."
Wow. You actually typed out 'yawn'. You could at least try to disguise your condescension in the very same comment where you are calling for a civil resolution to this. The video wasn't meant to entertain you. Just because people have always been offended, doesn't make the central point of the video any less true today. The point which you are electing to ignore because the video is 'very poorly constructed' in your subjective opinion.
But honestly, this is peanuts compared to the rest.
~
Alright, I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm to yelling at you, specifically.
I'm writing this in all caps because this is a basic point that a lot of people, including you, either do not, or choose not to understand.
DEFENDING FREE SPEECH
IS NOT THE SAME AS
DEFENDING WHAT IS BEING SAID
So for anyone to use someone's defense of the right for people to be able to write whatever fiction they want, as a platform to accuse them of being a pedophile apologist / sympathizer is a gross logical fallacy at best and, despite you commenting to the contrary, actually is bullying.
Because if you're not part of the book-burning brigade, you're the enemy, right?
How is this call for the general ban of people not the digital equivalent of a holocaust? To call for the destruction of written works, and the erasure of a peoples' existence?
This fascist attitude of "if you're not with us, you're against us" NEEDS TO STOP.
The burden doesn't lay on Trick to defend herself for being neutral on the subject, (assuming if she even is!) This is like bringing up the government of Switzerland on charges of war crimes for not joining the allies during the war.
Your apology on behalf of the people missing the central-point of the other blog rings so hollow when you are still carrying the same banner of gaslighting, virtue-signaling, self-righteousness into this one.
All Trick was modestly proposing was a tag. Because defending the right to free speech, DOES NOT mean defending some entitlement to be heard. People should be able to write whatever fiction they want. Even if it's horrible.
BUT that doesn't mean you should have to see it if you don't want to.
You should be able to filter out content you don't want to see.
That was all that was being proposed.
That seems reasonable.
Proposing a filter IS NOT defending what was being filtered.
But people turned into a righteous crusade.
Because I'm sure they misinterpreted her words entirely 'by accident'.
I'm pretty sure ganging up on someone to the point that they feel too uncomfortable/afraid to be here, to the point that they feel the need to leave the site, is exactly what that bullying is.
Do you know why I can stand here and defend Trick, and defend the free speech of writers to be able to write whatever fiction they want?
Because it's FICTION.
No one is being hurt.
Defending free speech includes the often ignored-caveat: As long as no one is getting hurt.
This is why you can't freely yell "fire" in a theater. Because someone could get hurt.
This is why you can't call for harmful action against a person, or people. This is why hate speech is not tolerated!
And this is also why fictional stories about fictional characters, however horrible they might be, continues to be allowed.
Because no one is actually getting hurt.
Unless people count their feelings being hurt, which, spoiler alert: don't count.
When people take what happens to fictional characters and equivocate it to ACTUAL child abuse, it's like the difference between shooting a bullet, and throwing it. And I would laugh out loud at the comparison if it didn't make me so genuinely angry!
Not just because of the attack on free speech, which is bad enough, the comparison actually hurts the position against both. Because actual child abuse is appalling, and makes me physically ill to even think about! Actual child molesters deserve to be buried under the prison!
You want to wage a war on ACTUAL child abuse? I'll be right there with you on the front lines!
You want to wage war on the actual sexualization of actual children? Tell me where and when, and I'm there!
You want to know something that I find offensive?
Netflix's Cuties
Netflix's Cuties is appalling! Regardless of whatever meta message they are trying to tell, it could have been done with a book.
Because as I've said before:
Typing words does not actually harm children.
Drawing a picture does not actually harm children.
Netflix's Cuties on the other hand has actual children actors being actually sexualized and I can not fathom how in the hell it ever got greenlit by anyone.
That is the vast, V A S T gulf between fiction, and reality.
So can we please get offended at something that deserves it? Can we please fight the good war on the real enemy? Rather than these skirmishes of friendly fire, drawing petty lines in the sand, here, on the same side of the massive moral canyon between all of us, and those out there who would actually harm children? Because this, this slashing of each other's throats in these comment threads? This is not how we win over hearts and minds. This is not how to gain allies.
5403494
I feel like, regardless of intent, that accusing someone of being a child-abuser, ignoring all protests to the contrary, and ultimately driving that person away from a website they've been contributing to for six years and maybe, possibly making them have a mental break-down goes a little beyond a "misunderstanding."
If you think this was caused by them not reading what Trick wrote closely enough, then maybe they should have spent a little more time on understanding her than they did insulting and accusing her. And no, Trick doesn't need to do anything right now other than take some time to herself and get into a better headspace. She doesn't need to clarify her stance to anyone or make nice with the users who harassed her.
But, hey. Maybe you can tell the actual child abuse victim who posted right before you why his opinion on the topic is wrongthink.
5403494
So, your solution to a few loud people hurling what you claim are false accusations at someone innocent, is to... give them exactly what they want?
Are you sure this isn't because it happens to be what you want, too?
What an absolute pile of martyr-complex garbage.
If you're not trying to normalize or promote child sexual abuse, why do you write stories glorifying child sexual abuse, and perpetuating harmful myths about child sexuality?
Nope, not buying it for one second.
5403551
Or ask another child abuse victim why what that so-called child abuse victim said is sheer garbage. Want to take a guess how many child sexual abuse victims go on to become abusers themselves? Hint, it's a lot. In fact, the majority of child sexual abusers go on to sexually abuse children, and they very often use the same justifications and evasions that their own abusers did; because that is what they were conditioned to understand.
5403494
5403491 5403547 and 5403551 pretty much nailed it already, but here is a thing I need to address:
Really? Let's take a look at the timeline, shall we?
Post 12 => https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/926038/an-immodest-proposal-please-read#comment/5400666
Trick Question explains clearly that she didn't write the blog to defend anything and that no one there thinks real-world pedophilia is OK. She also EXPLICITLY asks not to further derail the blog with discussion on consent because that was NOT the point. And the discussion became pretty civil after that, until...
Post 47 => https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/926038/an-immodest-proposal-please-read#comment/5400891
BatwingCandlewaxxe drops the first bomb, claiming how sad it is that that people in the thread are 'legitimizing/normalizing child sexual abuse' I have read the thread and all 47 posts over and over, and I don't see ANYONE doing anything of the sort, and Trick Question EXPLICITLY stated it was NOT her intention. So, either BatwingCandlewaxxe didn't read Trick's post or decided to ignore it and project his/her own views.
Up to this point, all could have been attributed to a misunderstanding. Once again, Trick Question tried to explain it in:
Post 52 => https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/926038/an-immodest-proposal-please-read#comment/5401010
She said that she was NOT using 'foal-adult romance' to imply support or anything of the sort. If that was a misunderstanding, that should have been the end of it. Instead, it quickly went downhill from there:
Post 59 => https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/926038/an-immodest-proposal-please-read#comment/5401123
BatwingCandlewaxxe accused Trick of normalizing sexual abuse towards children, even though she said MULTIPLE TIMES it was NOT her intention. Moreover, nothing in her answers suggests that she is pro-foalcon or pedophilia.
Post 60 => https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/926038/an-immodest-proposal-please-read#comment/5401163
Trick Question AGAIN tried to explain why she used the neutral language she used and that her stance of pedophilia is crystal clear. It didn't work; accusations continued...
Everything past this point is no longer a misunderstanding but a 100% deliberate action. Trick explained everything THREE times already (not that it wasn't crystal clear from the beginning for everyone aside from those who WANTED to find an excuse to attack). Even so, she tried to explain her (very logical and well sounded) reasons for using such a language again - but it was all in vain. The attack continued.
Post 89 => https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/926038/an-immodest-proposal-please-read#comment/5401815
Another accusation from BatwingCandlewaxxe of being a 'pedophile apologia.'
Post 90 => https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/926038/an-immodest-proposal-please-read#comment/5402015
Trick Question's another (lengthy) attempt to explain her position and another failure.
Post 91 => https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/926038/an-immodest-proposal-please-read#comment/5402037
Another one from BatwingCandlewaxxe saying, 'you're justifying child porn!'
Post 93 => https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/926038/an-immodest-proposal-please-read#comment/5402063
Another lengthy accusation from Posh.
Post 111 => https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/926038/an-immodest-proposal-please-read#comment/5402486
And last but not least, a nuke from BatwingCandlewaxxe - literally claiming that some of Trick's stories glorify child rape.
The way I see it, it stopped being a misunderstanding long before the nukes were dropped. The outcome is probably another writer who came here to fight her own anxiety of all people! - pushed away from the site, labeled, and most likely driven into depression or mental breakdown.
Mind you, it's not WHAT they said - as much as I disagree with it, I understand that a lot of people think the same way about foalcon. It's HOW they said it. How they accused Trick of being a pedo-apologist, and whatnot, because... she used a neutral LANGUAGE
! Especially BatwingCandlewaxxe - who claims to be a victim and an expert and from the field - even after knowing Trick's mental state (something she was opened about for a long time before that blog), had no problem attacking her.
You still think this is OK
? What if - God forbids - Tricks do something to herself in her current state, you'll still feel the same? Where is the line where you change your mind and say '... maybe they overdid it...'?
Understand people - accusations hurt, and they CAN be deadly. When a bunch of people starts accusing someone of being a pedophile supporter (because he writes/reads foalcon), a psycho (because he likes gore), or a Nazi (because he like Aryanne), it hurts. Being accused of something you're not FUCKING HURTS!
People think that just because they use words instead of sticks and stones, makes it OK. It's NOT OK. The outcome and PAIN is the same
.
I tell you what I see...
Do you know what's funny? All the bad things I heard came from people claiming to have some superior morality? The vilest users on this site are not the ones writing foalcon, not the ones writing gore, or rape, or other... questionable stuff. But the ones who oppose those things claiming they just want to make this site a 'non-toxic, happy place for everyone.' Oh, the irony...
That's what I see, and that's what I experienced during the last year alone. And while I agree that trying to throw Aryanne off the site doesn't make anyone 'hateful or intolerant' - the methods like slender and calling everyone who writes or read those stories as a Nazi - does.
You can't say, 'Well, I'm calling you a Nazi because you read Aryanne... b-but it's not hateful, at all!'
Can you give me a quote, please
?
I don't know if you noticed, but I am trying to be civil even with people I strongly disagree with. Granted, it doesn't always work, but I don't recall my tongue ever slipping when I was replying to you, but maybe I missed something.
User X accused user Y of doing something nasty to him IRL. User Y kind of confirmed some of it and denied some. Some time later, User X decided that user Y shouldn't be on the site because... the mere presence makes him uncomfortable, I guess? He and his cronies wrote to knighty, who responded that he's not gonna play a judge and jury and won't throw someone from the site for things done off-site. knighty got called xxx apologist, a bastard, and whatnot, and User Y gets harassed by the mob.
If you want to bait me into saying the names out loud, you can forget it. If I do that, I'm gonna learn I'm an 'xxx apologist' too, and I have enough labels for now
.
5403845
After reading through the last blog and this one, I'm willing to belive that most people arguing against the whole foalcon thing are coming from a sincerely good place, even if I think they're misguided. That said, I fully believe you are just being actively malicious in order to try to score internet virture points or whatever, and really hope you take a step back and reflect on how harmful the things you are saying can be. Like, maybe it's time to stop posting and chill for a while.
5403848
I've had folks say I'm a brain-damaged predator in waiting who should be kept away from children, monitored constantly, and perhaps have my teeth punched in once in a while, too, by 'moral guardians'. So I get what you're saying.
My favourite is this one guy who said I was mentally damaged from some trauma I don't remember which will forever colour all my interactions, definitely put a stamp on what kinks get me hot... which is fully my own fault, because kinks are 100% a personal choice that can be changed whenever you want.
I'm really not a fan of the idea of people leaving the site, or taking down their stories, or anything of that nature because "the site would be better off."
The site's better off with active people writing stories and trying to improve those stories as well as themselves. That doesn't happen if you cut and run.
If you have to leave, it should be because the site isn't good for you anymore; if things are causing you undue mental or emotional strain you'd rather be rid of, then it makes sense to leave. But self-ostracizing because you made a mistake, or even a series of mistakes, isn't the right play.
5403494
Um, bullshit? By far most of the comments being downvoted here yield no obvious reason for it, at least not from the comment itself. I accept that my comment is an exception. It's the outlier of the bunch, though. Because I went a little further and brought up something that rustles the jimmies of people like you. All you have to do is scroll up (above my comment) and read some of them. I will point out, now, that the conversation has now been soiled by people like you, and so comments after mine (starting with your comment, interestingly...) are going to be downvote bombs. I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about the earlier ones being downvote-bombed. ALL of them were ONLY encouraging Trick, and little else. So yeah, your claim is complete horseshit. That includes me 'going after' other users. I (later) merely made known my frustration at the downvotes.
No, it wasn't. Matter of fact, there was NO debate in this thread / blog post. Only folks offering words of encouragement. You're the one bringing it up. I was only making a comparison. And it wasn't meant for you, it was meant for Trick Question. Do you understand what empathy is and how it works?
Oh for Celestia's sake. I am not gonna get into that here. But if you're not aware of it, I'd suggest you look into it yourself, instead of asking somebody who you're going to ignore, no matter what he has to say.
5403845 If you really feel that way, why don't you unfollow Trick?
Apparently you don't wanna be here, so it's the obvious thing to do.
5403547 Well said. Kudos to you, sir, for being one of the few people left here with half a brain.
I'm working on a longer response to the others who responded to me, but I want to specifically address a couple of comments before then. Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty conflicted about this whole ordeal...
5403970
The only comments that have a bunch of downvotes are the ones that are going on about some vaguely defined group of bullies and saying how awful they are. They are going after other users without naming them. Did you not notice this? No, they were not ONLY encouraging Trick. The ones that are didn't receive many downvotes. The only other downvoted comments are my comment, the guy telling trick not to apologize because it would make her look weak, and Jordanis, whose left a comment I don't understand. Do you still wish to dispute this?
I'm the one bringing it up? What logic is this? You were the one to mention it in your comment! If you didn't want it to be talked about, then you shouldn't have focused on it in your comment. I mentioned it because you were wrong about what happened, and the situation was not analogous. And it was hypocritical to boot.
I get what you were going for, in trying to show empathy for bringing up what you considered to be similar situation, but you were wrong in a way that I think is significant. Don't insinuate I don't know empathy.
Why are you being this way? I want to know since I don't agree and I don't know what you're referring to. I can't think of a way that pedophilia is being normalized in regular society in any significant manner.
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They are incorrect, but they had some reason to believe they were right. I don't want to just give them what they want. What they want is for Trick to not use language and behavior they deem to be supporting sexualization of children. What I propose is not an admission that she supports those things or apology for supporting them, but for her to clarify what her position is so they can realize how they are wrong about her.
What I do want is for everything to be cleared up between the two sides here so we can move on. That includes having them apologize. If it turns out that Trick does support this kind of content here, well... that's a different story, and I sincerely hope that isn't the case. Does this answer your question?
I've said it before, but I have been slandered had horrid things said about me, and it was not by these supposed "toxic moral guardians". It was by the brave crusaders for "free speech" who insist we should just let anything slide. Every single time. They have no claim to be better. It's not a problem with people like me who want some of standards around here about pedophilic content, it's a problem in general.
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The audacity to say this... Sure, go ahead and ignore the fact that the person who accused her is also victim of childhood sexual abuse as well, you go tell him he's just a "harasser". I think he went too far too you know, and I've told him so myself.
Yes, it was a misunderstanding. One got that way, way out of hand and ending up hurting people like Trick Question. They are not saying any of this for no reason. They are wrong, but it doesn't mean we can't fix things here, and make things right. It will require everyone to do something. It means Trick Question should make herself clear, and her detractors should apologize and try to make up for what they said. That is how we can move forward and stop something like this from happening again.
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Trick made her position clear several times. Doing it again won't change anything, given its obvious these "detractors" aren't willing to read what she wrote, and are more than willing to put entire stories-worth of words into her mouth.
5403986
Yeah, well it was my post, and how I choose to engage with someone whom I'm trying to support, is frankly none of your business. Knowing that you're nitpicking that, I can say without insinuating anything... you don't know how empathy works. It has nothing to do with you. Don't take this and make it about you, or about something else. What I do to empathize with someone who's not you, does not regard you or your feelings. I don't frankly care that I said something that you think 'wasn't analogous' with the topic at hand. That's your opinion. That's not a fact. And I was most certainly not talking to you. If I was talking to you, I'd endeavor to empathize with you through an analogy that you would find agreeable (which would apparently be very difficult). But this isn't about you. I really have to keep driving that home, because you are trying to make this all about literally anything but Trick Question.
Oh, why am I being this way?
You're the one coming at me like I'm some kind of asshole. How the hell did you expect me to react? You tell me I'm 'wrong' for something that doesn't even involve you, or even involve a matter of 'correct' or 'incorrect' at all. Yet what do you see here? Big stinky meanies attacking 'vaguely defined groups of bullies'? What? Friggin' what? So you must be one of those vaguely defined bullies, then.
Also 10 comments have downvotes before you started this shit. Yes, you. So yes, your claim is BS.
Frankly, I made my position quite clear. I strongly believe you will disregard anything I have to say. I've dealt with scores of people like you. Ask for proof, don't stay to hear the answer. You are perfectly capable of using google and finding the answer to your own question. And you'd do that if you wanted an answer. You don't. So I'm not going to waste my time spoon feeding you information.
I believe 5403848 just spent an hour digging up information to spoon-feed you, and what did you do? COMPLETELY ignore ALL of it. Just like you'd do to me. Please stop wasting our time.